What sexuality does this make me // how can this be explained?

I’m a guy, 18 years old and I’ve always been attracted to women. I’ve had crushes on girls before and I’ve also had sex with girls before and enjoyed it but in the summer I met this guy, we went to school together for years but never really spoke until summer, anyway at first I didn’t think much of him apart from wow he dresses pretty cool and has good hair… we started talking at a party and I just clicked with him.. we had deep conversations, loved the same music and the stuff I hadn’t heard before I still ended up liking.

So I started talking to him more, I began taking fashion advice from him, talking to him made me want to get back into photography, art, playing the piano and the guitar (he also did it and was GREAT at it)... at this point I realised I was attracted to him in some sense because I loved being around him and talking to him, I couldn’t wait till I next saw him and I was always waiting impatiently for him to text back... and I guess he looks really good too but it was never in a sexual sense.

Anyway fast forward to the end of summer and we only just became good friends but he had to go off to uni, so I tried keeping in contact and we spoke a bit over text and met up a few times. At this point, I was thinking about him A LOT and had to figure out why so I told him how I felt… he wasn’t gay but said he was alright making out with me and we did, I enjoyed it but I didnt feel aroused I just loved the idea that I was kissing someone I really admired. In some ways I feel like I’m attracted to him because I’m envious of how good he looks, how he talks to people, how he’s popular and smart, good at the hobbies I love, and just his whole personality.

It’s been a few months since we made out and we still talk, I still think about him quite a lot but it doesnt consume my thoughts as much as it used to. I still love talking to him and often wish I could just see him and do something cool, I do sometimes think about making out again but not so much, sometimes I also get an urge/wish to just hug him and talk for ages.

Tl;dr — I’ve always been into women, had crushes on girls and I’ve enjoyed sex with a women before. But recently I’ve had a HUGE crush on a guy but its never been about sex, I love his personality, the way he dressed and the things we spoke about, I just love being around him, talking to him and doing fun stuff with him, although I guess I also do really like his hair and his eyes. I told him how i felt and he isnt gay but we made out and I enjoyed it but I wasn’t aroused and didnt feel it going anywhere… Why do I feel this way about a guy when I’m not gay and wouldn’t have sex with another guy? Surely if it was a crush the thought of his penis or having sex with him would excite yet I actually find it a turn off. What does this make my sexuality? And why do i feel this way?

Does it matter what it makes your sexuality? You're you, not the name you give your interests. You're probably straight but might be bi. Does it matter aside from that?

The short answer: You're bisexual and your friend is too.

The long answer: You're only 18 and just discovering your sexuality so there's no need to put labels on these early relationships. I've been where you are (I am a guy) and it sounds like you're attracted to guys but not ready to admit which is fine and I'm not calling you out for it but you'll grow into your sexuality. Your friend (although he says is not gay) is obviously attracted to guys too and just like you he is not ready to admit to this which is also fine as people take time to come to terms with their own sexuality.

Your phobia to anal sex and penises is normal as it is all new to you. I just want to remind you that the idea that all gay men enjoy anal intercourse is a myth. Many gay couples don't have anal sex. If it's not for you, stop thinking that without complying you won't find partners. Most importantly, learn to recognise predators – and never allow yourself to be coerced into something you don't enjoy.
There are plenty of men out there who feel exactly the way you do and in time you'll meet some.

If you want a label, biromantic heterosexual sounds like it describes you.

He’s not bisexual, I did get ‘gay vibes’ from him and so do a few other people but he too has had sex with women and he seems to know what he wants, I think he just felt bad that I was confused and wanted to help me realise if I felt that way about guys or not... I’m honestly really open minded, I dont have a phobia to penises, it just doesn’t turn me on, and neither does the idea of being physically intimate with a guy. I even briefly came out as bisexual to my sister, a few friends and my gay cousin, i was even ready to tell my mum but upon ‘embracing it’, meeting others with the label and hearing them describe how they feel and stuff, I just knew it wasn’t me, I just know I dont and cant feel that way.

I’ll keep open minded and maybe what you’ve said is true but I also know my feelings to this guy aren’t enough to satisfy/suppress my sexual feelings to women so if we did end up in a relationship we’d be having no sex and I’d still be wanting to be physically intimate with a women? That wouldn’t work out well

I never said your friend was gay so I'm not sure where you got the 'gay vibes' comment from. I said he is bisexual at the very minimum which he is if he is kissing a dude. There's really no way of dressing up two guys making out (repeatedly) as 'straight'.

I can see the dilemma with wanting his emotional company but not wanting to get sexually intimate but as I said in my previous post these things can develop and you might come around as this was certainly the case for me.

Ok so now you need practical advice:
Talk to him and explain how you feel and impress on him how fond of him you are to try and see if he likes you back. If he reciprocates your feelings you've got your answer but if he tells you that he doesn't want to be your bf move on and cut all ties with him. This relationship has the recipe of being something special or becoming a toxic one-sided crush which might put you in a depression.

Thanks for your advice, I hope i didnt come across as argumentative or anything, its just some of the stuff you said I feel like I’ve dealt with and know its not the case. Sorry, I do have one last question, a huge difference I’ve found during this whole ‘crush’ compared to a crush on a girl, apart from the whole sexual thing, is that I feel really really envious of him, like sometimes I get upset asking myself why cant I look that good or why cant i be that popular or talented or just seeing him wear something and thinking wow I wish I had that. In your experience, is that a normal thing in same-sex crushes?