Question for Muslim girls

Scroll to see replies

It wasn't a compliment. You know it wasn't, and I wasn't talking to you. Your constant refusal to be constructive in a discussion means I won't be engaging in discussion with you again.

I didnt say it was. Its much more effort to reply to you, so I just be friendly instead. I dont need to be constructive, thats not always the point of a debate.

It goes a long way. :smile:

(edited 6 years ago)

Reply 141

mariachi

Original post by Angry Bird

why do you people take things out of proportion? no one says it makes you a non muslim. There are other consequences but you're too clearly ignorant to know

well, calling people "ignorant" is not the proper way to explain things

as far as I know, a Muslim woman who marries a non-Muslim does not automatically become a non-Muslim. Quite simply, her marriage is considered as being not valid from an islamic point of view, so she is having unlawful sexual relations (zina), which is usually considered a very serious sin in Islam

there are however some delicate issues : what about a non-Muslim woman's marriage to a non-Muslim if she converts to Islam ? probably, the dominant opinion in Islamic doctrine is that she should leave her husband (if he doesn't convert) but recently, this has been disputed by quite a few scholars

among "progressive" Islamic scholars, by the way, this entire doctrine of Muslim women not being allowed to marry outside of Islam has become a subject of debate : but these are still early days, I would say

best

Reply 142

k.n.h.

Original post by MiszshorTea786

Sorry, I was not aware of what post you were referring to.

Should have asked but thanks.

I thought I referenced what post I was talking about.. But ok

Reply 143

MiszShorTea123

Original post by k.n.h.

I thought I referenced what post I was talking about.. But ok

Yes I will address the points later on InshaAllah(God-willing!).

Reply 144

k.n.h.

Original post by MiszshorTea786

Yes I will address the points later on InshaAllah(God-willing!).

Reply 145

HateOCR

Original post by Anonymous

Do you think it will be hard for you to find someone for marriage? If you haven’t had any proposals yet, does it make you worry?
How does it work in your family/culture?

If you are already married, how did it happen?

1. No probably not
2. No im still young and not thinking about it
3. Its like a game of wheres Wally. Usually your parents try finding someone for you but my parents are a bit liberal so i have freedom of choice too provided they are Muslim too. @sportyegg :lol:

is it the same for you guys
4. No

Im not a girl but i think the same is applicable for both genders lol

(edited 6 years ago)

Reply 146

sportyegg

e for

Original post by HateOCR

is it the same for you guys
4. No

Im not a girl but i think the same is applicable for both genders lol

YES it's the same for me too haha

Reply 147

mariachi

Original post by howitoughttobe

LOLOLOL they reported my post where I said Islam was backwards and got it removed by the moderators :rofl3:

"Oh no my beliefs are being questioned and I don't have a rational argument to back them up! Quick report the post so I don't have to face the reality that my beliefs may be wrong!"

Lol, if you're religion was so great you would be able to easily defend it, you wouldn't need to report posts that dared to question it.

Strange. This is not even the "Faith and Spirituality" section, so I don't see how calling Islam "backwards" when discussing relationships would not be acceptable. It does not imply any hate : it's just a position about a religion/ideology which has a considerable impact on our societies (and, quite obviously, on relationships).

If someone posts on an open forum, he/she should quite obviously expect to be confronted with opinions which are opposed to his/her own

best

Reply 148

mariachi

Original post by Anonymous

I'm 25 and have only recently decided to go back into education, so unsure as to what to do. I'm arab and there aren't many of us where I live so yes it does kinda worry me... especially because of my age etc.
My situation is a bit unusual as I grew up in a white area and so except for 2 muslim friends I made at Saturday morning arabic school I don't have a big muslim support network. My white friends can't introduce me to people lol.
There was a muslim guy I liked a while back and he seemed kinda flirty but he lost interest soon enough. I tend to find a lot of arab guys spend their time chasing white girls, and see arab girls as kinda 'second rate' tbh. I mean, ok they do mostly end up marrying muslim girls eventually, but only because of parental pressure it seems. TSR threads such as 'do white girls like *insert minority* guys?' don't do anything to help my insecurities lol.
Sorry if I sound like I'm going off on a bitter rant. Being muslim and female in this country (or any for that matter) is hard.
I might try one of those online muslim marriage sites, but I'm unsure as people say it's really like muslim tinder :rolleyes:

I am impressed at how you are making such a clear distinction between "white" and "arab" people (which you seem to treat as synonymous with "muslim" and "non-muslim ) . I realise of course that pressure by parents for marrying within the same ethnic/religious group is sometimes very strong... in my view, this is a sad situation but probably, at least for the moment, it's a fact of life

anyway, all the best for your future

(edited 6 years ago)

Reply 149

howitoughttobe

Original post by mariachi

I backed up my opinion with evidence to support it but I guess we live in a time where certain things are acceptable to criticise and other things you have to blindly accept and support otherwise it's classed as hate.

Reply 150

username3025040

Original post by MiszshorTea786

I dont need to be constructive, thats not always the point of a debate.

Yes... it literally is?????? If you're not being constructive, your contributions to a discussion have no point. Friendliness is worthless. I'll take a constructive post with a harsh tone than a friendly post that offers zero substance. I've told you this far too many times and if you can't or won't understand or agree on what should be achieved in a discussion then we're wasting everybody's time. I'm not quoting you again.

Reply 151

Anonymous #9

Original post by MiszshorTea786

Yes I will address the points later on InshaAllah(God-willing!).

you've been saying this since yesterday. Nobody is ganging up on you but you need to explain what you mean.

Reply 152

obaid786

Original post by justanotherchica

pickkk duhhh :colonhash:

Same same , would u marry a non Muslim ?

Reply 153

username3679372

Original post by Anonymous

I don’t know the answer to that because too early to think about marriage for me :lol:

Afaik I’ve had no proposals. I’m too young, they wouldn’t come for me because my parents will be like wth :erm:

What H333 said is how it happens most of the time I think.

Nope I’m not married I’m only 14 :smile:

Reply 154

username1154717

Original post by Biryani007

The way things are going...it looks like no one wants me :lol:

Can I have you? :love:

Reply 155

Angry Bird

Original post by Anonymous

sorry how have i done this? she doesn't give a sensible answer shes just repeating her words. please don't act like an arrogant muslim i am a muslim also and i dont agree with all things so be respectful and dont hold yourself so highly.

Original post by k.n.h.

@MiszshorTea786 did... Read all of the thread before saying that :sigh:

The 'you're too ignorant to know' is parroted by countless people too many times.. It doesn't add to the conversation at all, and is just a way of stalling, or avoiding a discussion.

I have been here for years answering the same questions again and again it is really tiring for me. Any rational male should know the consequences of marrying inter faith otherwise research should be carried out before jumping to conclusions labelling the religion as sexist when in fact people are just ignorant of the truth

Reply 156

mariachi

Original post by MiszshorTea786

Theres a Muslim lady, lets say her name is Maryam, and she has a classmate who is a christian by the name of Chris. Now if Maryam desired to marry Chris as she is a Muslim, she would come out of Islam instantly.

I'm sorry but no, she would not. Give your daleel (islamic proof) please.

OK, so I will now start my career as a disbelieving alim (scholar) and will now deliver my own disbeliever's fatwa (religious ruling) :

as far as I know, a Muslim female's marriage to a non-Muslim male would simply be considered invalid (null and void) by most Islamic scholars.

They would say that, by having sexual relations with Chris outside of a lawful marriage, Mary is gravely sinful (she is committing zina, i.e. unlawful intercourse). But in Islam being sinful, even gravely, does not mean that you become automatically a non-Muslim

The problem is different : in Islam, there is (some sort of) consensus over what takes you out of Islam (the so-called "nullifiers of Islam), but zina most surely is not one of them. You could check, as an example http://www.salafi-dawah.com/things-that-invalidate-islam.html . A more complete explanation here https://www.kalamullah.com/Books/Explanation%20of%20the%20Nullifiers%20of%20Islam.pdf

The issue is therefore more complex, and depends from whether Mary is convinced that, by her sexual relationship outside of a valid marriage, she is going against Shariah or not. If Mary does realise that she is going against Shariah, she is simply a sinful person. Islamically, she should, therefore, sincerely repent, leave Chris as soon as possible etc etc and then it is between Allah and herself.

However, if Mary claims that her marriage and sexual relationship are legitimate in terms of Shariah, she may be considered as going against the 10th nullifier (Total Disregard or Turning Away from the Religion of Allah (G), by neither Learning It nor Acting upon It). If she considers that for some reason, she is not obliged to follow Shariah, the 9th nullifier could also apply.

So, as I have shown, in Mary's case there is no "automatic" exclusion from the fold of Islam at all. That will be 7 pounds 50, please : via PayPal

And Allah (hopefully) knows

best

(edited 6 years ago)

Reply 157

username1339858_

@MiszshorTea786 The kitaab yoy are using is it in a different language? Which one is it?

Reply 158

username3748656

Assalalkum sisters, I have a special offer for all of you. Me. I am an Afghani-Kashmiri individual that holds the one and only...British passport.

So if you have any peng cousins that can't get Student Visa, shoot me a message. There's only 4 spaces to be one of my wives, only accepting cuties I don't do burka-suprises.

Hahaha I'm just joking guys, I'm actually willing to have more than 4 wives.

Reply 159

MiszShorTea123

Original post by mariachi

I'm sorry but no, she would not. Give your daleel (islamic proof) please.

OK, so I will now start my career as a disbelieving alim (scholar) and will now deliver my own disbeliever's fatwa (religious ruling) :

as far as I know, a Muslim female's marriage to a non-Muslim male would simply be considered invalid (null and void) by most Islamic scholars.

They would say that, by having sexual relations with Chris outside of a lawful marriage, Mary is gravely sinful (she is committing zina, i.e. unlawful intercourse). But in Islam being sinful, even gravely, does not mean that you become automatically a non-Muslim

The problem is different : in Islam, there is (some sort of) consensus over what takes you out of Islam (the so-called "nullifiers of Islam), but zina most surely is not one of them. You could check, as an example http://www.salafi-dawah.com/things-that-invalidate-islam.html . A more complete explanation here https://www.kalamullah.com/Books/Explanation of the Nullifiers of Islam.pdf

The issue is therefore more complex, and depends from whether Mary is convinced that, by her sexual relationship outside of a valid marriage, she is going against Shariah or not. If Mary does realise that she is going against Shariah, she is simply a sinful person. Islamically, she should, therefore, sincerely repent, leave Chris as soon as possible etc etc and then it is between Allah and herself.

However, if Mary claims that her marriage and sexual relationship are legitimate in terms of Shariah, she may be considered as going against the 10th nullifier (Total Disregard or Turning Away from the Religion of Allah (G), by neither Learning It nor Acting upon It). If she considers that for some reason, she is not obliged to follow Shariah, the 9th nullifier could also apply.

So, as I have shown, in Mary's case there is no "automatic" exclusion from the fold of Islam at all. That will be 7 pounds 50, please : via PayPal

And Allah (hopefully) knows

best

I would advise you to look this up in Qudoori Shareef, it will explain it better and save me time in writing it up again.

The chapter on marriage if I recall correctly, studied this book a while ago..

Bear in mind, it does conflict opinions all for good reasoning of course.

All the best.

(edited 6 years ago)