Has anyone ever experienced this???

Hi everyone,
I'm the oldest child in the family, and I have one younger sister.
I feel like i'm not given any opportunities compared to my sister. I've wanted music lesson for around 2 years now, and I have never been given the opportunity, whereas my sister used to go to Gymnastics and now has Keyboard/Piano lesson. I really feel like i'm the third wheeler in my family.
I am really grateful to my family for what they have done for me before and even now, but it really sucks that i'm not given as many opportunities to do something great.
There is so much I could do if i'm given the opportunity. Music lessons are just one example, there are many more.
I'm not the most cleverest teen, although I go to a grammar, but I work hard, yet I am still compared to other people, including my younger sister and my friends. It really demotivates me, especially because I feel like i'm not the best and don't belong in my family.
Being the first child is a huge disadvantage!

Reply 1

AzureCeleste

In some ways it's the worst, in others it isn't.
I'd speak to your family, saying you don't find it fair. There are probably other oppurtunities you've had that she hasn;'t

Reply 2

VanillIceCream

Original post by AzureCeleste

In some ways it's the worst, in others it isn't.
I'd speak to your family, saying you don't find it fair. There are probably other oppurtunities you've had that she hasn;'t

Thanks, but even when I speak to them, their always on my sisters side

Reply 3

AzureCeleste

Original post by IshraatBhuiyan

Thanks, but even when I speak to them, their always on my sisters side

That's really frustrating. Explain you're two different people and you shouldn't be compared to one another. Ask why she was allowed to learn piano and you can't, even though you've been asking too.
It's a hard situation, and annoying for you.
I'm sorry I can't be much more help

Reply 4

bones-mccoy

It is difficult being the eldest - you get most of the pressure and are almost like the experimental child, if your parents try something with you that doesn't work then they know not to do it again with a younger sibling. It's natural to be compared to your siblings and also your peers but try not to take this personally, as long as you're working hard and trying your best there's nothing more anyone can ask of you.

Could you ask for music lessons now? It does seem unfair that your parents are willing to spend on your sister but not you

(edited 6 years ago)

Reply 5

Little Popcorns

I think your parents are just expressing favouritism and you should stand your ground and make things a bit fairer. Be realistic though pick one thing you really enjoy and you’re good at rather than loads of different activities you’ll make yourself overworked if you have too many hobbies and school work.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Original post by IshraatBhuiyan

I never had any opportunities either always wanted to go to music lessons or dance lessons or language classes but growing up in a single parent household it was just not feasible.

Reply 7

cat_mac

When younger siblings get more opportunities I think it’s often down to the amount of money the parents are making. When siblings come in parents are older and could be more advanced in their career so make more money.

I think feeling sibling rivalry is normal, my brother is often talked about as being some kind of prodigy which pisses me off. Eg my mum always talks about how when my brother was a baby he would sing all the time and had a natural talent, encouraging him to pursue singing. While I, a grade 8 classical vocalist who loved singing and music, sit there and give my brother, who doesn’t give a crap about music, evils.

TL;DR it’s normal to feel a bit hard done by from your parents, especially when siblings get something you wanted. Best thing to do is to see what you can do to get that now, with or without your parents. You’re never too old to pick up an instrument or head to dance lessons!