'Prestigious' uni or being near girlfriend? Help!

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Reply 80

Oaklasaurus

Original post by louisedrake

thank you for taking the time to reply, you've actually helped me out a lot :smile:

No problem, I'm glad I could help ^_^

Reply 81

Anonymous #3

I'd say if you really want to study at a certain university go for it! It's only two hours and although that may seem like a long way away now it's not. You don't have to sacrifice having the education you want for your relationship. You can have both it may just mean not seeing each other all of the time, meeting at weekends, catching up over phone calls, Skype etc. But of course it's your decision and good luck!

Reply 82

Taz554:-)

Original post by louisedrake

..yep

Why are you being sarcastic. I acc wanted to know and now you acting like a sarcastic **** for no reason...

Reply 83

doodle_333

Original post by louisedrake

Her choices are Greenwich/Sussex - I'm not going to drag her to the nearest uni for my own convenience.

But you'l do it the other way?

I would go to the better uni. You don't want to regret the worse uni or resent your gf for taking you there. And if your relationship is strong you'll survive

Reply 84

Apple1024

I think there are two scenarios,
1 - she's supportive of you going to the prestigious uni --> go for it! The best of friends connect very well regardless of distance, and if she supports you that's one very big clue she's an awesome friend :biggrin:

2 - she's not supportive of you going to the prestigious uni --> this gets a bit blurry, but there may be a slight chance of clinginess (or even jealousy? I'm not sure) involved....

important thing is no matter what, don't sacrifice your happiness for her happiness, i know this sounds cruel and i'm a terrible person (who i probably am?), but i've had one friend that was great and all when we're achieving the same levels and it's as if we're brothers taking on the world, but when uni apps rolled in and it became clear he didn't achieve as he liked, he grew jealous and really clingy, and in some cases would throw buckets of cold water at the things i'm excited about. of course i'm not implying your friend is someone like this (and i don't wanna throw a bucket at you too :biggrin:

) but there's a very slight chance this might happen.

hope this helps :smile:

Original post by louisedrake

Self explanatory title, subject is Psychology.

I have visited Sussex and Goldsmiths and like them - but don't LOVE them. St A's and Durham more fit my 'goal' of a 'prestigious' uni, but...
it would mean living 2+ hours (at least) away from my girlfriend, who I have lived with full-time for 2 years.
Of course I care about my education, and we would stay together no matter what uni, but I know it will be horrible leaving my best friend and support system for 3/4 years.
If I go to Sussex/Goldsmiths we would be able to live together, the same as we are now, but I can't help feeling like I'm giving up a chance of a 'better' uni and I'm drawn to their reputation etc.

Please no hateful comments etc, I really am under so much stress from this decision and any advice would be good.

EDIT: the amount of hours doesn't matter, and if I went to Durham/St. A she would be in London, so around 2/3 hours. But again... not the important part of this question.

Uni.

Prestigious university

Reply 87

bones-mccoy

Original post by Taz554:-)

Are u lesbian/bisexual? Never talked to one before!!

She's gay...not an alien :rolleyes:

OP - A good degree is yours forever, a relationship may not be

Reply 88

Taz554:-)

Original post by bones-mccoy

She's gay...not an alien :rolleyes:

OP - A good degree is yours forever, a relationship may not be

Never said she was... just said never met a person who is lesbian... got a problem?

Reply 89

bones-mccoy

Original post by Taz554:-)

Never said she was... just said never met a person who is lesbian... got a problem?

Yeah, you need to stop treating her like she's some kind of rare animal in a zoo. You must have lived a very sheltered life.

Reply 90

Taz554:-)

Original post by bones-mccoy

Yeah, you need to stop treating her like she's some kind of rare animal in a zoo. You must have lived a very sheltered life.

Never really did tho. I am living in a very closed community and never KNEW that people could like the same sex till recently. I never said "Are you a lesbian, omg they are so damn rare im gobsmacked, how long where you in the closet for" Now dont quote me again.

Reply 91

bones-mccoy

Original post by Taz554:-)

lmaooooo you've been living under a rock :h:

Reply 92

choleCcarknif3r

Original post by louisedrake

Do what is best for you and your future. You can be together afterwards for the rest of your lives, but take these few years for you. Don't go to a uni that doesn't feel like the one if you have the choice of one that does. You can definitely still see eachother and talk as much as you want. Not that it will, but if something happened and you broke up, would you still be happy with your choice of uni or would you spend the rest of your degree wishing you'd gone somewhere else? Going to the uni of your dreams generally only comes around once and for a short period of time. You could be with your girlfriend for the rest of your life.

Have you spoken to her about it? What does she think? I imagine that of course she'd miss you, but if it was the right decision for you to be further away she'd be supportive of that and of you.

If you do decide to go with her, be really sure that it's the right decision because you don't want to end up regretting your decision to go to a uni that you didn't feel great about because that will likely just cause problems between you two

Reply 93

Raphy

Original post by louisedrake

Hey! Durham is a wonderful uni, my sister is there and she really enjoys the atmosphere and everything. I suggest you do what's better for you at the moment, your future is important, your friend will understand and you'll meet up every now and again anyway! Don't worry about it, and just do what you really want to do! Maybe she could accommodate near you in the northern area where you are going to study if she can? At uni you will undoubtedly make more friends but i understand if you guys want to be together. All the best anyways :smile:

Reply 94

Taz554:-)

Original post by bones-mccoy

lmaooooo you've been living under a rock :h:

k dont quote me.

Reply 95

bones-mccoy

Original post by Taz554:-)

k dont quote me.

Okay

Reply 96

howitoughttobe

Original post by louisedrake

The education will not vary greatly - it's still uni

Definitely not true, don't fall into this trap! People thinking all unis are equal is part of the reason why so many graduates a working low skill jobs.

At the end of the day only you can decide what's more important but honestly I think if you really love each other it will last long distance. I'm from Birmingham and I know a guy in the year above who had a girlfriend in my year. He went to University of Birmingham (even though he didn't particularly want to) so he could be close to her. The following year she gets rejected from University of Birmingham, doesn't want to go to Birmingham City University because she thinks it's rubbish and goes off to Bangor instead. He was furious and they broke up soon after so he was stuck doing his final two years at a university he didn't even want to be at in the first place, all for a girl who had no problems moving far away from him and with whom he ultimately broke up.

Also you say you've been together 3/4 years but then you say you applied for uni before you even met her? Something's not quite adding up here.

Reply 97

Anonymous #5

I think you shouldn't give up on a shot at a better future for someone who may well not mean that much to you in ten years where as your job, your success is going to be stuck with you