guys why do you loose respect after sex?

I've was speaking to a guy I met online, he was perfect, smart good looking and we had been calling and texting a few weeks.

We finallymet and I thought he was acting a bit serious and I couldn't read him. seemed like he didn't want to be in a coffee shop.

Eventually we went to his place, I realised he was alot more attractive in real life and he made a move and we almost slept together.

We slept together whenI went to his place the next day again.

he quickly became distant and started talking to me disrespectfully and being rude. he isn't usually like that.

I continued seeing him and carrying on this routine even though he was acting like a prick. I was in love with him. he was soo good looking, very smart and simple guy, he was reallynconfident too but he has a superiority complex.

I am so hung up on him but he is really bad for me.

Reply 1

Kanairee

13

This guy sounds really toxic. I know how hard it can be to break things off with someone who you love but trust me, the weight that will come off your shoulders will be such a releif, and you'll have a lot more respect for yourself. I hate to say it but it sounds like this guy is very aware of the effect that he's having on you and is using it to his advantage to get what he wants out of you. For whatever reason, I'll never understand why some people feel the right to do this. But I would definetely advise you to get out before it gets too serious because the longer you allow it to go on, the more you'll catch feelings and the more he'll think he can get away with it. Ditch this guy, no contact, and distract yourself with doing osmething you love for a few days or weeks afterwards. Best of luck

Reply 2

Anonymous #2

There are people in this world who are driven by their feelings. Some guys literally just follow their penis, It's like if you are starving all you want is food but then after you've eaten you don't care about food anymore. For some people they have sex just because it feels good and its what their body wants. Some of us do it just for the connection with another person however rare that may be.

The fact his entire demeanor changed tells me the prospect of sleeping with you was more for achievement and self pleasure than an actual connection... Personally from what you have described I would just keep him distant... Maybe even mention you've met someone else just see his response (Some guys can be possessive mind you...)

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

He was the first guy I was in a physical relationship with but I don't think that's the reason I can't let go.

He was really good in bed like he knows how to be passionte sorry if tmi!! and I was like wow I can't believe he is sleeping with me.

But yea overtime he became more rude and degrading and he doesn't seem to care and will hook up on win a few months but not even speak. it's so emotionally disturbing but I crave seeing him.

I keep blaming myself for him becoming distant. I feel like a boring, unattractive, looser.

He made me pay for everything every time we met and even the protection was my responsibility. I knew this guy was not treating me right but I was annoyed with myself for not being enough that he would want to treat me well.

Reply 4

jasmin058

9

Original post by Anonymous

There are people in this world who are driven by their feelings. Some guys literally just follow their penis, It's like if you are starving all you want is food but then after you've eaten you don't care about food anymore. For some people they have sex just because it feels good and its what their body wants. Some of us do it just for the connection with another person however rare that may be.

The fact his entire demeanor changed tells me the prospect of sleeping with you was more for achievement and self pleasure than an actual connection... Personally from what you have described I would just keep him distant... Maybe even mention you've met someone else just see his r

(edited 6 years ago)

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Kanairee

This guy sounds really toxic. I know how hard it can be to break things off with someone who you love but trust me, the weight that will come off your shoulders will be such a releif, and you'll have a lot more respect for yourself. I hate to say it but it sounds like this guy is very aware of the effect that he's having on you and is using it to his advantage to get what he wants out of you. For whatever reason, I'll never understand why some people feel the right to do this. But I would definetely advise you to get out before it gets too serious because the longer you allow it to go on, the more you'll catch feelings and the more he'll think he can get away with it. Ditch this guy, no contact, and distract yourself with doing osmething you love for a few days or weeks afterwards. Best of luck

yea true, I find him irresistible, he works as an academic at a top uni so he has brains and hotness but the rudest guy I have ever met. he even says he has nothing to say to me. I guess I am just a body to him which is worst feeling ever. I feel like my personality is not good enough. I tried to cut off, he give a me silent treatment and it is usually me stooping low and asking to see him which he once on a few months agrees to

Reply 6

Kanairee

13

Original post by Anonymous

yea true, I find him irresistible, he works as an academic at a top uni so he has brains and hotness but the rudest guy I have ever met. he even says he has nothing to say to me. I guess I am just a body to him which is worst feeling ever. I feel like my personality is not good enough. I tried to cut off, he give a me silent treatment and it is usually me stooping low and asking to see him which he once on a few months agrees to

He knows he's irresistible, that's part of what makes him so manipulative. These kinds of people tend to have a bit of a superiority complex particularly with women, it's nothing to do with your personality I promise. I expect he's done this to other people before so he knows that it works. Cut him off, let him give you the silent treatment and give it back, it's easy to fall into the trap of wanting to 'win' or 'get back' at him and that's normal, but it's better with these kinds of people if you just seperate yourself from them completely. You'll feel better

Reply 7

SMEGGGY

21

He saw you as a shag, nothing more.

Reply 8

Thomazo

19

I lose respect when someone says loose instead of lose.

Reply 9

Anonymous #2

Original post by jasmin058

thanks for your reply, distancing myself and not being angry and attached to him is soo hard.

He is very distant from me and doesn't give a crap if I am seeing some one else.

I read his social media accounts, I'm not connected to him but I sees him chatting nicely and respectfully to other girls and it drives me mad. But he does have a need to piss people off online too. And I see him insulting people with his intellectual superiority he feels.

I feel like such a loser and don't feel pretty, I am not one of those instagram girls, I am 25 and live at home since I am a Muslim and I am not some popular girl with an amazing life and i just think no wonder he is not interested. I can't compete, he come from a well off family I think a d has a lot of friends and a busy life while I feel sorry for myself.

you seem to really like this guy and from what I read you said he's a smart guy. All I can say to you is if you want to keep his attention you need to find something about yourself that keeps you in his mind. He can have sex with "any" girl but will only be drawn to the one that makes the impression. As nice as it is to be a little innocent, as guys do to some extent like that.. Keep a firm hand with him. If you ever find yourself about to have sex. Tease him, say no. Everyone wants what they can't have. Let me know what happens :smile:

Reply 10

Anonymous #3

Has this guy told you he's only looking for hook-ups? If so, what else were you expecting?

I'm not talking on behalf of all guys, but for me the best bit is getting a girl into bed. That's the real fun. Once that's over I'm done, and have no interest in her anymore, but then that's what hook ups are all about.

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Anonymous

Has this guy told you he's only looking for hook-ups? If so, what else were you expecting?

I'm not talking on behalf of all guys, but for me the best bit is getting a girl into bed. That's the real fun. Once that's over I'm done, and have no interest in her anymore, but then that's what hook ups are all about.

not intitally, he asked me if o had been in a relationship before which is classic question without really saying upfront what kind of relationship.

he knew that I didn't know he just wanted a hook up so it was still deceiving. he really sold himself off as some nerd who was lonely and wanted company and kept pressuring me to meet him and eventually I did. the evening turned completely different when I saw this guy is really good looking and had this quietly confident, smooth badass side to him. I fell for it. his initial innocent act was a way to lure me in. even though I have seen him like 15 times since instill keep getting confused about this guy and his tricks. he feels like a god that I and maybe other girls sleep with him I actually had some issues in my past which make me quiet uninhibited. I even tried almost sleeping with another guy to get over him but even he didn't want anything to do with me after but he was nice about it.

Reply 12

jasmin058

9

Original post by Anonymous

Has this guy told you he's only looking for hook-ups? If so, what else were you expecting?

I'm not talking on behalf of all guys, but for me the best bit is getting a girl into bed. That's the real fun. Once that's over I'm done, and have no inteherest in her anymore, but then that's what hook ups are all

(edited 6 years ago)

Reply 13

Anonymous #4

I love it when shallow girls get hurt by good looking boys, and it's so common 😂

Reply 14

jasmin058

9

Original post by Anonymous

I love it when shallow girls get hurt by good looking boys, and it's so common 😂

he is really intelligent,I don't go after looks only, there are so many good looking guys out there. he was a simple guy but I liked that he was an academic

Reply 15

PlayWithMarkers

14

Original post by Anonymous

I love it when shallow girls get hurt by good looking boys, and it's so common 😂

It's not shallow to want to sleep with people you find attractive, and the only people who think it is are, well, the ones nobody wants to sleep with. I'm sure you're a nice guy, right?

Reply 16

username2908878

20

Maybe that’s all he wanted in the first place ?

You’re worth more though so break away and either be by yourself or someone who respects you for you

Reply 17

Notoriety

22

Maybe he thinks that if you shag someone first time meeting them, you're not someone who could be trusted in a long-term relationship. Maybe his desire was to conquer you and once he did that, you were no longer interesting. Or it could be some other boring shite.

Reply 18

Alexty28

19

Original post by Anonymous

I've was speaking to a guy I met online, he was perfect, smart good looking and we had been calling and texting a few weeks.

We finallymet and I thought he was acting a bit serious and I couldn't read him. seemed like he didn't want to be in a coffee shop.

Eventually we went to his place, I realised he was alot more attractive in real life and he made a move and we almost slept together.

We slept together whenI went to his place the next day again.

he quickly became distant and started talking to me disrespectfully and being rude. he isn't usually like that.

I continued seeing him and carrying on this routine even though he was acting like a prick. I was in love with him. he was soo good looking, very smart and simple guy, he was reallynconfident too but he has a superiority complex.

I am so hung up on him but he is really bad for me.

Yeah it sounds like he used you to get laid, now he's got what he wanted, he will just act like a prick. Don't waste time with him.

Reply 19

jasmin058

9

Original post by Anonymous

you seem to really like this guy and from what I read you said he's a smart guy. All I can say to you is if you want to keep his attention you need to find something about yourself that keeps you in his mind. He can have sex with "any" girl but will only be drawn to the one that makes the impression. As nice as it is to be a little innocent, as guys do to some extent like that.. Keep a firm hand with him. If you ever find yourself about to have sex. Tease him, say no. Everyone wants what they can't have. Let me know what happens ...........

(edited 6 years ago)

guys why do you loose respect after sex?

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