Worried about having sex?

I am a 27 year old female who is sexually inexperienced. I can count on one hand how many single sexual encounters I have had. I am planning to meet an old friend at the weekend to have no strings attached sex, which we both want. However due to my limited, and somewhat poor past encounters, I started to feel like my vagina is probably cursed.

Within the last 2 years I dated two guys, one long term. The first was a virgin, so understandably his performance was poor due to nerves etc but that didn’t bother me, we did have sex again but our relations fizzled out. The second guy was inexperienced, he had one previous sexual partner who he never had an active sex life with. We attempted sex a few times but it was a disaster, so much so he took it badly and was embarrassed he could not please me. Both of these guys were less than average (size wise) but I don’t know if that plays a part. The problem is I feel nothing - by this, both guys loved giving me oral, but I got no pleasure from it. It wasn’t due to nerves or anxiousness, I was pretty relaxed. And then penetration, I felt nothing.

This guy that I will be seeing is older and more experienced, but I’m just worried it will not only be a let down for me but also for him? The thing is when I say I feel nothing I mean no pleasure - I know that everything is normal down below and I can pleasure myself.

Any advice?

Reply 1

Notoriety

As you're a female, you just lie there like a sack of potatoes anyway.

Don't worry and enjoy the ride.

My perennial advice is do a bit of fantasy stuff. Preferably tell him to call you a dirty slut and have him choke you out. Stop being a bore and bring some excitement into this. The same debauched stuff you think about to get yourself off, insert it into your IRL shenanigans. YW.

(edited 6 years ago)

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

What is average size anywa?

Reply 3

Billyboxford

Original post by Anonymous

What is average size anywa?

Why are you asking? I don’t know one male that hasn’t Googled that **** growing up? 😂

Reply 4

tornbeyondreason

Original post by Notoriety

Actually I was planning on grinding on his face. And yes we have planned similar stuff, hopefully he will bring a noose.

Reply 5

Notoriety

Original post by tornbeyondreason

Actually I was planning on grinding on his face. And yes we have planned similar stuff, hopefully he will bring a noose.

This post made me smile. Wish you the best of luck with it.

Reply 6

Billyboxford

Original post by tornbeyondreason

Actually I was planning on grinding on his face. And yes we have planned similar stuff, hopefully he will bring a noose.

Let him put you in a sleeper hold and hope he cums before you pass out. Oherwise you can’t dictate the direction of the splatter - wake up with eyelids stuck together

Reply 7

tornbeyondreason

Original post by Notoriety

This post made me smile. Wish you the best of luck with it.

Thanks! I never like to take myself too seriously. And thanks to the imagery you made me conjure up at least if things are going to **** I can dream of this

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Reply 8

tornbeyondreason

Original post by Billyboxford

Let him put you in a sleeper hold and hope he cums before you pass out. Oherwise you can’t dictate the direction of the splatter - wake up with eyelids stuck together

I love how my genuine post has turned into a joke xD well I plan on wearing my glasses anyway, best form of protection.

Reply 9

Billyboxford

Original post by tornbeyondreason

I love how my genuine post has turned into a joke xD well I plan on wearing my glasses anyway, best form of protection.

My genuine advice is just don’t worry. It won’t be rom-com-esque. It will be some standard sex, and he’ll probably be more nervous. First time.

If you plan to have sex again then being honest about what you do and don’t want is the way to go. I’ve always done it with my partners. It just cuts a lot of unnecessary *******s out.

‘Do you like this? No? Ok.. I’ll do this instead’

Reply 10

Feastful

I would say just try not to sweat it (easier said than done I know).

Enjoyment of sex has a very strong psychological element (it's not all about physical compatibility) and if you aren't mentally getting turned on (because of stress or nerves, because of lack of attraction, because of tiredness or depression, because of self-loathing or insecurities etc) then very little physically is going to spark for you down there either. So if you worry too much about what its going to be like (and go into things with a pessimistic and overly-self conscious attitude etc), then you could very well ruin any physical pleasure that could have been experienced.

So have some drinks, get to know each other.
Do whatever helps you chill. Play a little background music.
Flirt, have a laugh, act natural.
Don't put too much pressure on yourself.
Explore each others bodies.
You may be meeting up for one sole reason, but that doesn't mean that you shouldn't take things at your own place, or that things can't be romantic.
Don't just go through the motions- do what what feels right for both of you (what you actually desire, etc).

Pleasuring him? Just get in tune with what he wants (which if you take things at a natural pace for you both, you'll start developing a sense for). Remember that confidence can be extremely attractive, but its not necessarily the same as simply playing dominant- a big part of it is about making the guy feel desired.

The first time you do it, may not necessarily be the best experience- it could last a very short time, or be very awkward (etc). But if you have a rest, chill and then discuss how it went and try it again later with adjustments based on each others feedback (and considering the circumstances, you might as well be pretty frank with each other!), then it can only go up from there (but nothing much will improve if you aren't honest with each other). Keep the advice tactful & productive too.
Don't be afraid to explore and indulge in some kinks either- everybody (whether they realize it or not!) has kinks (and indulging in kinks often makes the best and most satisfying sex of all).

PS: Be warned that if things do go great (and that you do end up meeting up on a more regular basis), that regular good sex with an individual can engineer hormones which can create a lot of strong feelings towards them (whether you want to or not) and that you could very well end up falling in love with the person if you have sex too much too often. Although it is extremely early days for you two, you should consider early what you'd actually do if such a situation (development of strong feelings towards the guy) were to occur (for example, is he someone you could ever see yourself being in a relationship with? If the answer is "Never!", then it might not be a wise idea to enter a no-strings attached arrangement with him either).

(edited 6 years ago)

Reply 11

Notoriety

Original post by tornbeyondreason

Thanks! I never like to take myself too seriously. And thanks to the imagery you made me conjure up at least if things are going to **** I can dream of this

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Unfortunately pic is not approved. Incredibly curious about what it might be.