Boyfriend hangs out with his ex and I NEED ADVICE TSR! :(

Hi guys, I need advice please! :frown:

So as the title states, and to make things worse, they have a business together and they talk a lot and my bf told me his ex and him are best friends.

Btw, get ready for this confusing story: (please give me sound advice)

I am a guy and my boyfriend's ex is a man who's married now to a woman but he still sleeps around with other guys (disgusting right?).

My bf told me that I'm crazy to be jealous and feel insecure when he hangs out with his ex because he loves me and stuff ..

I love my bf so much and we've been together for almost a year.. I didn't meet his ex yet because he was away on travels but I will meet him soon...

************STORY STARTS NOW************

So today, my bf was like he's meeting his ex over the weekend with other guys (they're all going camping) and that his ex will drive him back home the next morning (2 hour drive). I was like I dont feel comfortable with this and my bf got mad at me and told me I'm being rude because I dont trust him... wtf? I trust him 100%, I just dont know his ex and he might make advances on my bf (which I know my bf wont reciprocate) but it still makes me feel uncomfortable that his ex might make advances on my man!

My bf was like that wont happen and even if it does, he knows how he'll take care of it.. anyway, my bf got super pissed at me and told me I was being rude because it meant I did not trust him... this has nothing to do with trust! I just dont know his ex and what his intentions are and all I know is that he sleeps with other guys! So my bf was like you're one at fault here and he got hurt... what do u guys think? Was I out of line? If I am, please tell me so I can apologize to my bf. I feel so upset that we just fought :frown:

You said you trust him 100% but this message screams that you don't. If you completely trusted him you wouldn't feel there was anything to worry about if he got hit on. You'd know he'd put an end to it and that would be the end of it.

If anything, you could just ask that he be honest with you if his ex does flirt with him at all.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by sinfonietta

You said you trust him 100% but this message screams that you don't. If you completely trusted him you wouldn't feel there was anything to worry about if he got hit on. You'd know he'd put an end to it and that would be the end of it.

If anything, you could just ask that he be honest with you if his ex does flirt with him at all.

but all I told him was that I dont know his ex and he might make advances on him and I wouldnt feel comfortable, that's all .. was it wrong of me to say this?

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Anyone guys? :frown:

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

bump...

Reply 5

Anonymous #2

You’re not out of line. He should respect your feelings. Having a business together with his ex is one thing but going on a camping trip where his ex will be (and you won’t) is not a nice thing to do. Imo, he should be the one to apologize to you for being so inconsiderate. The fact that the ex cheats on his wife (with guys) means that he is sneaky af. I wouldn’t trust them together to be honest. How long have you been together?

Reply 6

alicesmiloves

7

Mmm I wouldn't trust either. I mean who has a business with their ex? That is just too close for comfort and no you are not out of line. You told your bf the reason why you won't trust his ex and in no way are you being mean. I would suggest you ask your boyfriend to see if he'll introduce you to his ex, and if he gets mad at you or hesitates in you meeting him than something is up. You can't always trust people which is unfortunate but ask him that and you will get a better picture of the situation. Hope this helps.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Anonymous

You’re not out of line. He should respect your feelings. Having a business together with his ex is one thing but going on a camping trip where his ex will be (and you won’t) is not a nice thing to do. Imo, he should be the one to apologize to you for being so inconsiderate. The fact that the ex cheats on his wife (with guys) means that he is sneaky af. I wouldn’t trust them together to be honest. How long have you been together?

me and my have been together for almost a year but we both trust each other and see a future together... he told me that his ex respects him and his relationship and won't do anything of that sort so I dunno :/

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by alicesmiloves

Mmm I wouldn't trust either. I mean who has a business with their ex? That is just too close for comfort and no you are not out of line. You told your bf the reason why you won't trust his ex and in no way are you being mean. I would suggest you ask your boyfriend to see if he'll introduce you to his ex, and if he gets mad at you or hesitates in you meeting him than something is up. You can't always trust people which is unfortunate but ask him that and you will get a better picture of the situation. Hope this helps.

my bf's been on my tail for the past several months to meet his ex but I just didn't feel comfortable at first, but now I do, so sometime soon I'll be meeting his ex. But I reeeaaally trust my bf with all my heart... he just got pissed at me cuz he was like u dont have a right to tell me who to see or who not to see and that I won't jeopardize my business or friendship with my ex because of your jealousy, he was like I'm not a kid and I know what I'm doing and the fact that you're asking me this makes me feel like you dont trust me.. and I was just like :/

Reply 9

alicesmiloves

7

Original post by Anonymous

my bf's been on my tail for the past several months to meet his ex but I just didn't feel comfortable at first, but now I do, so sometime soon I'll be meeting his ex. But I reeeaaally trust my bf with all my heart... he just got pissed at me cuz he was like u dont have a right to tell me who to see or who not to see and that I won't jeopardize my business or friendship with my ex because of your jealousy, he was like I'm not a kid and I know what I'm doing and the fact that you're asking me this makes me feel like you dont trust me.. and I was just like :/

I understand :/, it can be difficult honestly, because you don't know other people's intentions but it sounds good that you're going to meet his ex, I think that might give you a little more of relief if you know who he is, as well as get a first impression of him. Than I would suggest that you give your bf that trust and space, and see how he reacts over time. If he's more relaxed and there are no more arguments concerning his ex over time, than you're in the clear. I see that you really love him and you truly value your guys's relationship and that's great! Wish you all the best

Reply 10

StriderHort

21

From a quick read, well you kinda have made it sound like you don't trust him. If they're still close and work together then the ex isn't going anywhere. If you trust him then that includes trusting him to deal with his own past and friends.

As for the ex, So what if you don't know him? Or what his intentions are? you don't know that about 99.99999% of everyone. Whether you trust your own partner is the only one that matters.

Reply 11

LadyEcliptic

20

I believe unless there is a child involved, or going through divorce, then there is no reason why your ex should be in your life. They are an ex for a reason. I'm aware the odd time some can stay friends but no.

Also, this very much has to do with trust. You may not trust the other guy, that's cool. I dont think you are out of line for expressing your concerns, it's important to communicate in relationships. However, your boyfriend reacted poorly. He should be reassuring you and not brushing it off.

Reply 12

Anonymous #3

Honestly I know what your feeling but please DONT WORRY! Its funny because I can relate to your bf. I am currently really happy in a relationship with a lovely guy but I'm best friends with my ex boyfriend who i broke up with 3 years ago. I speak to him every single day and i can reassure you now, I have 100% no feelings for him in that way anymore.We spend time together all the time but it feels no different to when I hang out with my best girl friends. So honestly, dont worry about the feelings side of it.
In terms of your emotions, I completely understand why you feel the way you do. And maybe take a moment just to sit with your boyf and just say 'listen, i just wanna tell you calmly how I feel and you need to understand that if it was the other way around, you wouldn't like it.

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

OP

Thanks for the advice everyone. I really appreciate it. Mods, can you please delete this thread? I'm kinda paranoid now about this and I just want this thread deleted! :frown:

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

OP

Thanks for the advice everyone. I really appreciate it.

Mods, can you please DELETE this thread? I'm kinda paranoid now about this and I just want this thread deleted! :frown:

Reply 15

Anonymous #1

OP

Mods, can you kindly delete this thread please?

Boyfriend hangs out with his ex and I NEED ADVICE TSR! :(

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