The Student Room Group

Flatmate is giving EVERYTHING she's got to make me homeless!

Hello, this is my first post on TSR so I would appreciate if you read the whole post and gave some feedback on what I'm about to tell you. I'm in first year at University. I tried really hard in my A-Levels so when I received my offer through adjustment I was over the moon. I moved into my flat in September with 3 other people.

At first, everything was great- we all got on fine, everything was dandy. The girl situated in the dorm next to me had a girlfriend that was living in the neighboring halls, we spoke a fair bit at the start of the year and would have called her, not a close one, but a friend. The flat is tiny so I ended up going out in Freshers and finding my friends outside of my dorm. As far as I knew, I was still on good terms with everyone. In October, I got carried away with fraught inhibitions (due to the medication I'm taking) and was caught smoking a bit of weed near/on campus. I received a written reprimand telling me that anything like this happening once more would lead to a more severe consequence. I realize this was stupid, but I was sensible enough to own up on the spot and apologise and that I'd never do anything of the sort on/around campus ever again, and I stuck to my word.

A few months go by and I start getting Security regularly knocking on my door to tell me there's been complaints of me smoking weed in my room (??). I obviously denied the claims and they came in to search my dorm. They saw that I was telling the truth so they left- I had a meeting about it later but they had no proof that I was doing it/ believed that I hadn't, so no further punishment came from it. I was on edge at this time as I had no idea where these complaints were coming from. Turns out it was my flatmate's girlfriend that had reported me at least three times by now, under the same pretences that I was smoking weed in my room. I heard, from a friend, that it was all part of a plan to have me evicted so they could get my room. Things obviously turn a bit sour at this point and the girls resort to being petty- pouring my food down the sink, making up scenarios to report to the accommodation etc. Anyway, I remember it being late at night, as I was drinking, my stupid self acts wrongly again and I cover my fire alarm to have a fag in my room. 2 minutes later, the porters barge into my room and tell me that I'm going to be fined for covering my fire alarm. I feel a bit betrayed by my flatmate as I was constantly asking her if we were on good terms and she refused to tell me anything about what her and her girlfriend's intentions were, despite me already knowing. My flatmate's girlfriend moves into the flat above mine and is constantly smirking at me, I often hear them jeering at me through the walls.

On my 20th Birthday, earlier this month, I was called into a meeting with the Academic Registrar where they told me I was being evicted from my halls with a 28 days notice. I couldn't believe the punishment was so harsh, so I have appealed the situation and have yet to hear the final decision. Despite the decision already being made, I'm still getting porters and emails over fabricated complaints that these girls have made- one of them stating that I was knocking on her door threatening to beat them up. A complete and utter lie! I have flatmates that were in at the time who were with me to back this up. They're doing this to try and get the Academic Registrar to evict me immediately, so she can live next to my flatmate. They have both since blocked me on Facebook, after I asked for them to actually talk to me in person to get to the bottom of this so no more complaints are made- but they won't listen. They are persistent in getting me removed from my flat and the university is, so far, taking their stance.

Like I said, the decision is still to be finalised. I wrote a good appeal but it's now up to the University Secretary to decide whether or not I can stay in accommodation- I just don't like how they're taking advantage of the situation by spinning a bigger web of lies each day to add to their side of the story- and they're the ones claiming to be the victims. I know what I did was against the rules, but I know that because of the sense of urgency, with the girls rushing the Registrar by filing more and more complaints, things are definitely not in my favour and I am left helpless. I don't know what I did to deserve being in this position but it's completely unfair. I have a lot of my friends offering support and especially my flatmates are willing to take a stand, but I don't think it will be enough. I think that it's too far gone, with me already having received a written reprimand, and I won't have a place to live once I am forced to leave accommodation. I originally live in England (Stirling is a city in Scotland) and I'm scared that I will be given no choice but to drop out of university over something so trivial. If I don't drop out I will be homeless (just like any student I am very short of money) unless I return home, which is something I really don't want to do.

You read about hellish flatmates all the time on The Tab but never to the extent they are willing to make me homeless just to be next door to eachother until the semester ends next month. It's all too much and has given me an abundance of stress and anxiety- especially when this stems from virtually nothing. I have had nothing to do with the girls for months and they have this huge vendetta against me. As well as the appeal, I will be trying to fight against the injustice by bringing along my flatmates to shed more light on the situation. I don't understand how or why they're doing it but they're certainly winning whatever fight they've made this out to be.

Thanks if you took the time to read this and let me know your suggestions on what to do next.
(edited 6 years ago)
Original post by JMN49
Hello, this is my first post on TSR so I would appreciate if you read the whole post and gave some feedback on what I'm about to tell you. I'm in first year at the University of Stirling. I tried really hard in my A-Levels so when I received my offer through Adjustment I was over the moon. I moved into my flat in September with 3 other people.

At first, everything was great- we all got on fine, everything was dandy. The girl situated in the dorm next to me had a girlfriend that was living in the neighboring halls, we spoke a fair bit at the start of the year and would have called her, not a close one, but a friend. The flat is tiny so I ended up going out in Freshers and finding my friends outside of my dorm. As far as I knew, I was still on good terms with everyone. In October, I got carried away with fraught inhibitions (due to the medication I'm taking) and was caught smoking a bit of weed near/on campus. I received a written reprimand telling me that anything like this happening once more would lead to a more severe consequence. I realize this was stupid, but I was sensible enough to own up on the spot and apologise and that I'd never do anything of the sort on/around campus ever again, and I stuck to my word.

A few months go by and I start getting Security regularly knocking on my door to tell me there's been complaints of me smoking weed in my room (??). I obviously denied the claims and they came in to search my dorm. They saw that I was telling the truth so they left- I had a meeting about it later but they had no proof that I was doing it/ believed that I hadn't, so no further punishment came from it. I was on edge at this time as I had no idea where these complaints were coming from. Turns out it was my flatmate's girlfriend that had reported me at least three times by now, under the same pretences that I was smoking weed in my room. I heard, from a friend, that it was all part of a plan to have me evicted so they could get my room. Things obviously turn a bit sour at this point and the girls resort to being petty- pouring my food down the sink, making up scenarios to report to the accommodation etc. Anyway, I remember it being late at night, as I was drinking, my stupid self acts wrongly again and I cover my fire alarm to have a fag in my room. 2 minutes later, the porters barge into my room and tell me that I'm going to be fined for covering my fire alarm. I feel a bit betrayed by my flatmate as I was constantly asking her if we were on good terms and she refused to tell me anything about what her and her girlfriend's intentions were, despite me already knowing. My flatmate's girlfriend moves into the flat above mine and is constantly smirking at me, I often hear them jeering at me through the walls.

On my 20th Birthday, earlier this month, I was called into a meeting with the Academic Registrar where they told me I was being evicted from my halls with a 28 days notice. I couldn't believe the punishment was so harsh, so I have appealed the situation and have yet to hear the final decision. Despite the decision already being made, I'm still getting porters and emails over fabricated complaints that these girls have made- one of them stating that I was knocking on her door threatening to beat them up. A complete and utter lie! I have flatmates that were in at the time who were with me to back this up. They're doing this to try and get the Academic Registrar to evict me immediately, so she can live next to my flatmate. They have both since blocked me on Facebook, after I asked for them to actually talk to me in person to get to the bottom of this so no more complaints are made- but they won't listen. They are persistent in getting me removed from my flat and the university is, so far, taking their stance.

Like I said, the decision is still to be finalised. I wrote a good appeal but it's now up to the University Secretary to decide whether or not I can stay in accommodation- I just don't like how they're taking advantage of the situation by spinning a bigger web of lies each day to add to their side of the story- and they're the ones claiming to be the victims. I know what I did was against the rules, but I know that because of the sense of urgency, with the girls rushing the Registrar by filing more and more complaints, things are definitely not in my favour and I am left helpless. I don't know what I did to deserve being in this position but it's completely unfair. I have a lot of my friends offering support and especially my flatmates are willing to take a stand, but I don't think it will be enough. I think that it's too far gone, with me already having received a written reprimand, and I won't have a place to live once I am forced to leave accommodation. I originally live in England (Stirling is a city in Scotland) and I'm scared that I will be given no choice but to drop out of university over something so trivial. If I don't drop out I will be homeless (just like any student I am very short of money) unless I return home, which is something I really don't want to do.

You read about hellish flatmates all the time on The Tab but never to the extent they are willing to make me homeless just to be next door to eachother until the semester ends next month. It's all too much and has given me an abundance of stress and anxiety- especially when this stems from virtually nothing. I have had nothing to do with the girls for months and they have this huge vendetta against me. As well as the appeal, I will be trying to fight against the injustice by bringing along my flatmates to shed more light on the situation. I don't understand how or why they're doing it but they're certainly winning whatever fight they've made this out to be.

Thanks if you took the time to read this and let me know your suggestions on what to do next.


First of all, you have caused some of your issues. Smoking weed and then doing stupid things like covering your smoke alarm has given your enemies ammunition to destroy you.

Two, i think you should have been careful with those girls. Not everyone that smiles at you is your friend.

I think you would need to contact your family to help you, if possible, and then wait for the Secretary decision. If it is a negative decision, you leave the accommodation and find somewhere else to live. Aren’t you getting student loans or have you spent all your money?

Finally, i suggest that you cut-off any ties with these girls. They are not your mates. You stay on your own and avoid them. At the end of the year, you leave and never speak to them again.

All the best. Hopefully this works out in your favour.
(edited 6 years ago)
Hey

This is so sad. The more you stay there, you’ll get more miserable. Just leave even though the girl want you to go. It will be hard to prove yourself
Hey, have you thought about talking to someone higher up in the chain of management of accomidation and explaining everything and how difficult that they are making it for you to live?
Like if you have your flate mates to back you up on the stuff they claimed you have done when you actually haven't then surely they'll start thinking maybe these girls aren't being truthfull about the whole situation?
idk just an idea for you and hoope it gets sorted for your benefit.
You should be able to talk to your Warden (person in charge of your hall) about it all, especially if you have other flatmates to back you up. At this point it's their word against yours because the porters found no evidence when searching your room, so if you can out-speak them per-say then you should be in the clear.

I also suggest catching one of them (not both at the same time!) completely off guard in person and asking them about what's actually happening, they will either talk to you or just walk off, so it's worth a try. If you try and talk to both of them together they will just egg each other on and back each other up, leaving you helpless.

It truly sounds like an awful situation to be in, I feel sorry for you :frown:
Original post by JMN49
Hello, this is my first post on TSR so I would appreciate if you read the whole post and gave some feedback on what I'm about to tell you. I'm in first year at University. I tried really hard in my A-Levels so when I received my offer through adjustment I was over the moon. I moved into my flat in September with 3 other people.

At first, everything was great- we all got on fine, everything was dandy. The girl situated in the dorm next to me had a girlfriend that was living in the neighboring halls, we spoke a fair bit at the start of the year and would have called her, not a close one, but a friend. The flat is tiny so I ended up going out in Freshers and finding my friends outside of my dorm. As far as I knew, I was still on good terms with everyone. In October, I got carried away with fraught inhibitions (due to the medication I'm taking) and was caught smoking a bit of weed near/on campus. I received a written reprimand telling me that anything like this happening once more would lead to a more severe consequence. I realize this was stupid, but I was sensible enough to own up on the spot and apologise and that I'd never do anything of the sort on/around campus ever again, and I stuck to my word.

A few months go by and I start getting Security regularly knocking on my door to tell me there's been complaints of me smoking weed in my room (??). I obviously denied the claims and they came in to search my dorm. They saw that I was telling the truth so they left- I had a meeting about it later but they had no proof that I was doing it/ believed that I hadn't, so no further punishment came from it. I was on edge at this time as I had no idea where these complaints were coming from. Turns out it was my flatmate's girlfriend that had reported me at least three times by now, under the same pretences that I was smoking weed in my room. I heard, from a friend, that it was all part of a plan to have me evicted so they could get my room. Things obviously turn a bit sour at this point and the girls resort to being petty- pouring my food down the sink, making up scenarios to report to the accommodation etc. Anyway, I remember it being late at night, as I was drinking, my stupid self acts wrongly again and I cover my fire alarm to have a fag in my room. 2 minutes later, the porters barge into my room and tell me that I'm going to be fined for covering my fire alarm. I feel a bit betrayed by my flatmate as I was constantly asking her if we were on good terms and she refused to tell me anything about what her and her girlfriend's intentions were, despite me already knowing. My flatmate's girlfriend moves into the flat above mine and is constantly smirking at me, I often hear them jeering at me through the walls.

On my 20th Birthday, earlier this month, I was called into a meeting with the Academic Registrar where they told me I was being evicted from my halls with a 28 days notice. I couldn't believe the punishment was so harsh, so I have appealed the situation and have yet to hear the final decision. Despite the decision already being made, I'm still getting porters and emails over fabricated complaints that these girls have made- one of them stating that I was knocking on her door threatening to beat them up. A complete and utter lie! I have flatmates that were in at the time who were with me to back this up. They're doing this to try and get the Academic Registrar to evict me immediately, so she can live next to my flatmate. They have both since blocked me on Facebook, after I asked for them to actually talk to me in person to get to the bottom of this so no more complaints are made- but they won't listen. They are persistent in getting me removed from my flat and the university is, so far, taking their stance.

Like I said, the decision is still to be finalised. I wrote a good appeal but it's now up to the University Secretary to decide whether or not I can stay in accommodation- I just don't like how they're taking advantage of the situation by spinning a bigger web of lies each day to add to their side of the story- and they're the ones claiming to be the victims. I know what I did was against the rules, but I know that because of the sense of urgency, with the girls rushing the Registrar by filing more and more complaints, things are definitely not in my favour and I am left helpless. I don't know what I did to deserve being in this position but it's completely unfair. I have a lot of my friends offering support and especially my flatmates are willing to take a stand, but I don't think it will be enough. I think that it's too far gone, with me already having received a written reprimand, and I won't have a place to live once I am forced to leave accommodation. I originally live in England (Stirling is a city in Scotland) and I'm scared that I will be given no choice but to drop out of university over something so trivial. If I don't drop out I will be homeless (just like any student I am very short of money) unless I return home, which is something I really don't want to do.

You read about hellish flatmates all the time on The Tab but never to the extent they are willing to make me homeless just to be next door to eachother until the semester ends next month. It's all too much and has given me an abundance of stress and anxiety- especially when this stems from virtually nothing. I have had nothing to do with the girls for months and they have this huge vendetta against me. As well as the appeal, I will be trying to fight against the injustice by bringing along my flatmates to shed more light on the situation. I don't understand how or why they're doing it but they're certainly winning whatever fight they've made this out to be.

Thanks if you took the time to read this and let me know your suggestions on what to do next.

Things like this are very common in the first year of Uni. I'm surprised you're twenty, I would've thought you were eighteen or nineteen. Why on earth wouod anyone want to live in Halls for their second year? Either way, Uni halls of residence are flexible. Be moved to a different flat. When you get there stop smoking weed. Stop smoking cigarettes. Stop making excuses for your poor decisions and make something of yourself and your life. I have been street homeless, evicted illegally and used class A drugs in the past. You can overcome this.

These horrible people sound sociopathic or at the very least low in empathy. You sound eloquent and coherant in your writing style so I advise you write down what has happened or even copy and paste what you've written here and use that to try to stay in Halls.

Another idea is to look on spareroom.co.uk. I wish I'd known about it in my student days. I'd have saved a fortune instead renting expensive, grotty dumps aimed at students.

Halls are not even a nice place to live. Constant noise, cliquiness, no livingroom, comings and goings of people you don't like. Honestly, rent a room in a house of working people or be a lodger in a modern, clean house. It'll probably cost you half as much as living with these awful people.

You may always feel saddened by the fact these two people do not like you. Asking yourself, why? What did I do wrong? How can I clarify one misunderstanding or another? Why are they so inescure and judgemental but then make me out to be judgemental as opposed to bypassing their cognitive dissonance and opening their hearts? The answer is because they're arrogant, horrible people who want to make your life difficult so their rooms can be closer together. You hear them saying things about you through the walls because they're lives are so boring they have nothing else to talk about and they have no idea how well rounded, educated people would actually percieve them upon hearing this.

It's a reflection of them, not a reflection of you.

Blank them. Either have the Uni move you to a new room or find your own room on the site I linked you to there.

Before you leave have a big confrontation with them, tell them "You're judgemental and desperately insecure and you make me out to be judgemental to make yourselves feel better" even send it by text message so they can read it in writing. When they you see them in person on the day you're due to move out bring a big group of friends with you. Intimidate them by being noisy and make sure to squirt a good amount of Fairy Liquid into their milk.

No matter what you do for goodness sake do not let these nasty, ruthless, callous people force you out of Uni and your degree. This is your life. Fight for it.

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