Losing my boyfriend and job in a week

My life's took a turn for the worst.
After working so hard to fix everything and rise from being at rock bottom.

I'll start with my job, been dismissed because of accusations and it's killing me.
I was already poor whilst working, now I can't afford my debts or do things anymore.

This is gonna affect my relationship, he even said we wouldn't be able to date if I didn't have a job because we both get crap wage and couldn't rely on the other person to buy everything.

He's gone distant recently, I don't know if itsthe relationship getting more comfortable because it has for me

I love him so much and I don't want to lose him
I'm gonna phone him later and tell him that I feel as though he's not into me
Could be paranoid but it's best to keep my mind at rest

What can I say to him

Reply 1

abhinair3004

Tell him everything you're feeling straight up , don't beat around the bush. Your emotional security should be one of his top priority as your boyfriend. Tell him all your worries and sort it out together

Reply 2

the bear

sorry to hear about your difficult times. hopefully your boyfriend will be there for you.

Reply 3

bones-mccoy

He can't date you because you have no money? Wow

Reply 4

Ray_Shadows

Original post by bones-mccoy

He can't date you because you have no money? Wow

so that makes him a gold digger

Reply 5

bones-mccoy

Original post by Ray_Shadows

so that makes him a gold digger

Sounds like a catch...

Reply 6

Fgyhjj

Original post by abhinair3004

He's not there for me though, all he talks about is himself and it causes awkward silences because I genuinely feel left out
Like he doesn't give much of a **** to even talk to me.

Don't even feel like a couple, I told him I love him today and he wasn't assed in the slightest or anything
Said it back but it felt fake

He's been off with me ever since

Reply 7

Analyst89

Sorry about your situation, big hugs :smile:

.

I think you deserve better and to be treated better. He can't date you because you have no money? He sounds like a right idiot with this and everything you described.

If you need anyone to talk to, feel free to PM me :smile:

Reply 8

Tinizel

Really sorry to hear about your situation 😥

Personally I would tell him everything, everything that’s going on in your head. If he’s a man, he’ll stand by you and support you and help as much as he can.

If he doesn’t, DO NOT be afraid to lose him, someone like that doesn’t deserve to have you. I understand how hard it is to lose someone, what’s worse though is losing yourself to someone. You should have enough strength and character to do what’s best for you.

I have faith that you can bounce back from this, you have work experience so I’m sure you’ll find another job in no time! You got this! If you ever feel like you need a chat, you can always PM me, I’m more than happy to help ❤️😁

Reply 9

999tigger

Original post by Fgyhjj

1. The job. Have you posted about that and have you gotten advice? Are you the carer I was responding to earlier? Did you talk to Acas and CAB? If you are innocent then you need to make sure they handle the situation fairly and if need be get representation.

2. The bf sounds like a waste of space and you place too much value in him. You cant date because you have lost your job is someone who doesnt care about you and is not supportive. You are deluding yourself as to his value.

3. Do not contact him and tell him how you feel etc imo he wont be interested in hearing and it will only make up his mind he wants out, if he hast already left. You need support at the moment but he wont give it you is my feeling.

Reply 10

username2908878

This sounds like a crap time for you, I’m sorry you’re going through it. :hugs:

First of all, remember you are down and not out, sometimes it feels that everything goes wrong at once... by your admission it is rock bottom so the only way is up!!

So, try not to dwell on it. Sign up to a temping agency , go to the job centre and speak to charities like ‘StepChange’ who offer advice and plans to help you with your bills when your circumstances change... the main thing with debts is to just tackle them head on.

As for your boyfriend , it doesn’t really feel like he is being be supportive other half you’d expect. Talk to him about how you feel , you need his support at this time and I don’t mean financially I mean emotionally because you’re clearly feeling like **** and him being the way he is is clearly making you feel worse !

If he doesn’t respond, cut your losses and just focus on getting yourself back on track... look after number one

Good luck

(edited 6 years ago)

Reply 11

abhinair3004

Original post by Fgyhjj

Honestly, leave. You need to be treated better. You'll find someone who gives you all his attention and his time and someone who you can genuinely talk to about anything. You can feel free to PM me if you need any help or just to talk. Here's hoping it all works out great

Reply 12

Fgyhjj

Original post by Analyst89

Sorry about your situation, big hugs :smile:

It's because we live far apart
And he's in the army so if we both weren't working maintain the relationship would be very difficult.

Reply 13

Fgyhjj

Original post by 999tigger

I quit
I refuse to stay when my life's been turned upside down because of false allegations
I'll get another job eventually

I love him however when you are used to people leaving once the honeymoon period is over, you expect the worse
We barely see each Other because he's in the army and sometimes he's not home of a weekend.
So I can go weeks without seeing him
He keeps telling me to stay in the job but I refuse too

Sometimes it's like he's head over heels others it's not
I suppose that's how relationships work though

Reply 14

999tigger

Original post by Fgyhjj

Honestly you didnt protect your interested and I would have stood my ground. What did Acas say? Eben if you left then you could have gotten some money and a reference out of them.
Your choice.

This other aspect is sad though. It has t be mutual in a relationship and he doesnt sound nice at all. Id have dumped him and moved on. GL