Is it normal to have a little crush on someone else when you're in a relationship?

I think when I was younger I would have said 'no way that's really disloyal', but now I'm not sure.

-don't need to read this
One of my friends is obsessed with her boyfriend of 3 years (who is an absolute keeper) and she is your typical needy, really in love girlfriend. But a few months ago she openly told me and my other friends how much she fancies one of her male friends and would really like to shag him. She even says she fancies him more than her boyfriend. I was quite shocked especially because her actual boyfriend is way better looking in my opinion. She still jokes about her crush and he knows about it as well, but she's very much still in love with her boyfriend.

Another of my friends who has been with her boyfriend for 2 years was telling me about this guy she met on a night out and how he was a 10 and she was so tempted by him. She has him on instagram now. She was also telling me about one of her male friends and said 'he's more my type than Tom (her bf)'. Again I thought 'woah' this doesn't sound good.

But then I was thinking about my last relationship. I had a little crush on my boyfriend's best friend. He was very attractive and I guess I wanted to impress him sometimes. He and I were extremely similar, he was the male version of me. Which made it harder but at the same time I knew it would never work if we were so similar. Plus I loved my boyfriend.

I also had a huge crush on my boyfriend's dad. But I don't think that's as bad because obviously looks run in the family. I was quite open with my boyfriend about me fancying his dad anyway.-

What do you think? Have you ever had a crush on your partner's best friend or sister? Or a random person

Reply 1

TheAlchemistress

This is bad... very bad...

Reply 2

Smiley.

I think it’s pretty normal. The majority of people fantasize about someone other than their significant other. I’ve been in relationships where I’m completely in love with my partner, but I also have butterflies for someone else. It’s not bad if you don’t act on your crush, unless you and your partner are okay with that. I don’t think it’s bad or strange. It’s pretty normal

Reply 3

babyplum

Original post by TheAlchemistress

This is bad... very bad...

Even with absolutely no intention of acting on it? What about celebrity crushes? Or a crush on your teacher while you have a partner

Reply 4

TheAlchemistress

Original post by babyplum

Even with absolutely no intention of acting on it? What about celebrity crushes? Or a crush on your teacher while you have a partner

It’s hard to say because even with a lot of that, my crushes have died out and now I don’t think of it much. But if I had a BF I admit I might think a guy is good looking, but probably not say explicit things I want to do with him.

Reply 5

babyplum

Original post by TheAlchemistress

Yeah I wouldn't tell the person or my partner if I fancied their friend. When I say crush I don't just mean thinking they're attractive though. I mean like actually wanting their approval and kind of fancying them a bit.

Reply 6

JaseyB

In my opinion I think it's inevitable that most people are going to have a crush or fancy someone other than their significant other, it only becomes a problem when you are seriously thinking about acting on it. It's not worth hurting anyone if you can at all help it.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

Nothing wrong or unusual about finding another person hot or desirable but I think it goes to far when you start thinking about sleeping with them or saying they are better than your actually bf.
I get it becomes blurry ground with things like celebrities but I think its different as they are not in front of you like your bf best friend etc, also the chances of ever having the chance to meet let alone sleep with or have any physical contact with a celeb is slim to none.
But as long as you don't act on your feeling for the crush and you still love your bf then its not the worse thing. I personally don't think its right to think about sleeping with anyone else tho.

Reply 8

yungaheartz

Original post by TheAlchemistress

This is bad... very bad...

cos men don't do the same thing all the time(!)

Reply 9

yungaheartz

Its perfectly normal and perfectly fine so long as you don't act on it.

Men do it all the time. Many of them are very brazen about it too, thinking its no big deal. So its no big deal when women do it either.