Relationship advice

Right now I’m going through something no one should ever go through. My fiancé and I have been together for 2 years now. We were happy and we were gonna get married and live together. But something really dumb happened that shouldn’t have. I found out one day that a girl from work liked my fiancé and she added him on Facebook and Snapchat and from then on they started talking. Then one day my fiancé and I sat down to talk about it for the third time and he told me something that really hurt me and it’s something I’m still healing from, he told me on her last day there ( she worked in the morning but moved to the afternoon for reasons) they went to the parking lot to their cars and then the girl kissed him but my fiancé didn’t do anything to stop it. Afterwards he felt really dumb and guilty and realized this isn’t what he wanted to happen. He realized that he just wants to be with me and that he loves only me. So we’re good right now and we’re working things out. But how can you live with something like that, knowing that a girl who your fiancé is friends with kissed him but he didn’t do anything to stop it. How can you deal with something like that?

Reply 1

carrotstar

Original post by BeaFraire

Wow that must be challenging! I suppose only time will tell whether that trust will build back up again, and if it doesnt then you need to decide whether you can live with someone who you don’t trust. I’d suggest that trust is a big part of the relationship! Perhaps a further chat should be you asking how he will regain your trust? If he loves you and wants to be with you, he should be making the effort to prove that love to you.

If that means removing the temptation of the friend, then that may be the only option. No matter what said friend promises, the crush will probably always be there and then allowing themselves to see and communicate with one another adds to the temptation.

Reply 2

CoolCavy

Volunteer Team

Moved to relationships

Reply 3

BeaFraire

Thanks for the advice. We really are working things out, but he just doesn’t understand the kind of person she is. He says she’s asks about me how I am or how I’m doing?? How does she expect me to feel after what she did? And I know it wasn’t my fiancé’s fault it was hers.

Reply 4

BeaFraire

He tells me and these are his words, “put yourself in my shoes, I’ll admit shes beautiful. I’m sure you wouldn’t have stopped”

Reply 5

BeaFraire

I just want him to see the kind of person she really is

Reply 6

BeaFraire

I also realized that she just added him on Facebook and Snapchat but not me, I found that really strange. And all of her friends on Facebook are mostly guys

Reply 7

username1339858_

Original post by BeaFraire

He tells me and these are his words, “put yourself in my shoes, I’ll admit shes beautiful. I’m sure you wouldn’t have stopped”

With those words I can see why you fail to trust him. Lots of girls are beautiful, doesn't mean you don't stop them making a move if you're in a relationship.

Reply 8

BeaFraire

I trust him I really do, I know he loves me and he tells me that all the time and he wants to make things work again, heck he even sneaks out just to see me. I just feel like if he doesn’t tell her something she’s just gonna keep causing more problems

Reply 9

Nhi456

Oh just drop him, he seems like the type who will never admit his mistakes and pts his excuses out like your feelings will never amount to his

Reply 10

Darkiraa

This sounds like she needs to be cut from the picture. If he is serious about you and admits that he did allow that to happen and that he is to blame then he should have no problem cutting her out.

Reply 11

BeaFraire

That’s what I tell him but then he’s all like, we’re just friends, I doubt she likes me anymore

Reply 12

username3482522

Original post by BeaFraire

He tells me and these are his words, “put yourself in my shoes, I’ll admit shes beautiful. I’m sure you wouldn’t have stopped”

at first, i assumed it was because he was shocked and didn't know how to react. that can happen. now i'm not so sure because i don't really understand what he's saying here.

"put yourself in my shoes, i'll admit she's beautiful."

is he saying that he didn't stop because he was a horny rabbit?

"i'm sure you wouldn't have stopped."

why is he downplaying it? why is he redirecting it to you?

(edited 6 years ago)

Reply 13

BeaFraire

I honestly don’t know lol all I know is that she’s caused enough problems already lol

Reply 14

ashleygomez17

Find a guy as a friend and do the same.

Reply 15

BeaFraire

I wanna know from you guys, tell me, if you were in my place what would you have done if you and your fiancé were happily engaged, living together in your parents house when all of a sudden some girl comes along and takes all that away by adding your fiancé on Facebook and Snapchat but not you? And she kissed your fiancé and your fiancé does nothing about it. Oh and here’s what she looks like...

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