How to turn down a guy in a club?

So last night I was approached by a guy and he asked me my name, I wasn’t interested at all so I replied “sorry I don’t have one”. It was lighthearted and I was smiling, I then walked away. Now I’m wondering was I unnecessarily rude?
But then I also feel like I don’t owe anyone anything and I’m allowed to be uninterested, and if I had said my name then it would have just drawn out the process of rejection. But I still feel bad, cos at least he wasn’t a ******** that just came up behind me and grabbed me.
I’m definitely overthinking this but any opinion would be welcomed. Next time how should i deal with the situation?

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Reply 1

RockyDennis

I'm glad to hear of your evil rejection of this man.

I've come to believe that most women who talk to you are interested (mainly if they're like smiling, comfortable with touching, holding strong eye contact). What you did is excellent and how it should be. Why you may ask? Well it makes it easier to determine what girls like you and which don't. If you just get IMMEDIATELY shut down by a girl who isn't into you then that's ideal.

YES!

No questions mutha****as. Rocky Dennis has spoken. And yes I am THE Rocky Dennis, I am Eric Stoltz, I'm here to provide you with enlightenment.

Reply 2

It's****ingWOODY

I think you're alright there. He was probably just like "oh... alrighty then" and got on with his night. Some girls can be so b****y and try and show guys up or just talk to them like a piece of dirt and there's no need for it. I've experienced this a couple of times, lucky for me I'm self-assured enough to not let it get to me and I even managed to win one of the girls over after she realised I wasn't going to bite and I made a big joke out of it all, but you see some guys get rejected really harshly and they're crushed afterwards. Kinda hilarious though when you see it happen to chavs or roadman and they're like "RAH, you're a sket anyway, only came up to you cause you look easy innit, bun you gyal!" :rofl:

Reply 3

username3079870

Original post by gelli0tt

Women in society are generally conditioned to "be nice". and put other people first. That's not always a bad thing for everyone to do on occasion, but also on occasion you have to look after yourself first. More women (generally) need to feel they are able to be blunt on occasion and not worry about hurting someones feelings.

Gavin DeBecker is an absolutely fantastic expert on protection issues, and he has some really common sense advice we should teach more girls and women:

[video="youtube;L2XFY00UV-s"]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L2XFY00UV-s[/video]

I would say that you should not feel bad about it one bit. "Niceness does not mean goodness". I'm sure you're a good person and if you didn't want to talk to someone you did the right thing.

(edited 6 years ago)

Reply 4

Fedunck

I don't know what he'd have preferred obviously, but in general there is a spectrum between completely ignoring someone on the one hand and engaging in a long conversation on the other. Regarding the first one, no one is obliged to pay attention to someone else, plus this strategy is also honest. It's just very impolite as well. The second strategy is worse, because politeness does not require a conversation - all it requires is, 'Hi, my name is ___. [I'm sorry, but] I'm not interested in you/talking with you/being with you etc. Goodbye/Have a nice evening/etc.'

A guy really shouldn't persist after hearing something like that. I should note that I've never heard something as explicit as this from a girl, so I can't pretend to know if I'd prefer rejection of this kind over some other kind.

Regarding what you said, well it was kind of funny but it may have given the impression that you didn't take him seriously. Otherwise, it's a perfectly justifiable response.

Hope that helps

Reply 5

ANM775

Original post by It's****ingWOODY

She was rude imo

and I don't have much sympathy for girls who are rude to people and then get the kinds of reactions in your last line

I called a girl a b*tch once.

I'm ngl, I probably shouldn't have done it

but...

feels good man....

Reply 6

username3079870

Original post by ANM775

So it is okay for you to be rude to someone, but they can't be rude to you?

Reply 7

ANM775

Original post by jestersnow

So it is okay for you to be rude to someone, but they can't be rude to you?

she was rude to me first.

Reply 8

TimmonaPortella

Original post by gelli0tt

Now I’m wondering was I unnecessarily rude?

You could just say 'I'm not interested'.

You don't have to give your name, but it seems rude to me to say 'I don't have one' because, well, you do have one. If you're going to tell someone, politely, to get lost, do it with a statement that's actually true.

Reply 9

username3079870

Original post by ANM775

she was rude to me first.

For the sake of this conversation, I'm curious as to how you think a woman should respond if they don't want to talk to you?

Reply 10

UWS

A simple "I'm not interested" would suffice.

Reply 11

ANM775

Original post by jestersnow

For the sake of this conversation, I'm curious as to how you think a woman should respond if they don't want to talk to you?

Original post by UWS

A simple "I'm not interested" would suffice.

I was actually about to post:

a simple "sorry, i'm not interested" [In a polite tone] would suffice

Reply 12

oglez92

That was a bit uncalled for. It probably took him a lot of courage to approach you and you were that rude to him? I understand you're reasoning, if you're not interested fine, but you could have said a white lie like you have a boyfriend. Some women make dating so hard

Reply 13

It's****ingWOODY

Original post by ANM775

Maybe slightly rude, but you have to be a bit or some guys get the wrong impression.

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

Original post by gelli0tt

You definetely are overthinking it. But thats okay :smile:

As you said, you do not owe anyone anything, especially not a stranger in a club.
Next time, maybe just say your name and then if he starts coming onto yyou, tell him you have a boyfriend (even if you dont) or simply say youre not interested and are just here to have fun with your girl friends.

But tbh, girls are pretty savage in clubs if a guy is creeping on them or wont leave them alone or appraoching them etc, so just dont think youre a bad person for doing that. Because chances are, 90% of the other girls in the club had to do the same thing at some point that nightn

Reply 15

2spooky4u

Saw this on Instagram. Should be of use to you. A girl pretends to be deaf to get rid of unwanted attention. You could do the same.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=reVqUjRMYdI

Reply 16

ANM775

Original post by 2spooky4u

Saw this on Instagram. Should be of use to you. A girl pretends to be deaf to get rid of unwanted attention. You could do the same.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=reVqUjRMYdI

I approached a girl in a club once and in a thick european accent she told me "I don't speak English"

I was naive back then and took at her word and stopped talking to her. Her friend then came upto me and told me that she does speak english and was fibbing.

I went back and approached the girl

In hindsight I shouldn't have bothered a second time because if a girl is prentending not to speak english it only means one thing doesn't it... , she's not interested...