Is this guy into my friend or does she need to move on?

I know it's hard to say when you've never met the people but (and I've never met him either lol)

It's a guy my friend has liked for about 5 months now, except that they are no longer in the same country, he is now thousands of miles away and they won't see each other until August.

Anyway, when they were in the same city I understand that they hung out in a group and once or twice one-on-one, but that he never flirted or said he liked her as more than a friend or anything, and neither did she.

So he left and she never told him how she felt. They stayed in touch online and were speaking every day or every couple of days, then it started to dwindle.

She asked him to Skype with her in the beginning and he did, then the 2nd time she asked he said he was "too busy", and never got back to her about it.

Anyway, he began taking days to reply, or not replying at all. She sent him like articles links or whatever, and he "saw" them, but just never replied.

She went no contact for a month and he didn't message her. Then he wrote on her wall for her birthday and she used it as a reason to message him privately.

He replied, but again taking his time and not asking her any questions; eventually stopping to reply.

I don't see anything he is doing that suggests he might be into her. He sometimes likes pictures of her but I dunno. She told her mutual friend that she liked this guy and asked if anything "could have happened" and she said " yeah, maybe!" and so I think for my friend this is the "proof" that he likes her.

She is always obsessing over what kind of messages she should send him etc. and worrying that her messages aren't interesting enough, when in reality he makes no effort.

She thinks that he "likes her" but "isn't doing anything as he knows she's far". However, she's coming back in a few months, and he knows it.

Does it sound like he has any interest in her? I feel like she knows it but wants to kid herself into believing he does.

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

and I just want to tell her that she must move on and meet someone more available, but I don't want to upset her.

Reply 2

Anonymous #2

Sounds harsh but cos she likes him so much, she might be trying to make herself believe he likes her back. It can happen to anyone who has a crush so you should tell her to not fixate her life on one guy and freak out over it. Tell her to be herself, if he likes her he will hint and show it but if he doesn't then it should be an automatic sign that its time to move on.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

thanks for the reply! Yeah I think we all do it; look for signs the person likes us back and try to convince ourselves.

But to be honest, if he really liked her, he'd be replying to her messages/not taking days to reply/sending her very short answers etc. I think..

I've tried to tell herto just be herself and that not every message must be something exciting and amazing ,and she's blaming herself saying her messages are boring when in reality he's the one making zero effort.

Reply 4

Thomazo

You’re anon, why do we need to pretend we are talking about ”your friend” and not you?

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

That's ok if you think so but I am 100% talking about my friend. It's just that she talks daily about him and gets very down about the situation; I am trying to help her see it for what it is but it is hard.

Reply 6

alicesmiloves

To state it simply, I personally think he's not into her. His actions speak very loudly and I think she should move on. It is a waste of time when guys act like that and a girl continues to chase after them. There are plenty of guys out there who would be willing to put the effort and be serious about someone.

Reply 7

TheEnchantress

It sounds like he doesn’t. Your friend needs to move on. As this type of obsession is not healthy and she’s going to be heartbroken when she realises he doesn’t have feelings for her 🌸

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

Thanks for the replies! I've tried to tell her in a nice way but she is determined to keep in contact over the next 4 months in the hope that something will happen in August, even though there is no guarantee he will even be there.

I think she will end up disappointed, but she won't listen, so all I can do is be there for her !