Original post by r____1Hi! Can you suggest what grade this is? Any improvements? For imaginative writing worth 40 marks.
Emotionally, I remember that unanticipated, amazing and insane day with my old childhood no-longer-friend. He was one of the best friends I could not ask for. He hardly failed to make me laugh and smile. To make me stop crying. To make me stop from being chuckled. However, the issue in my mind: he is no longer my friend. He was named Adam.
So...
Furiously, the raindrops were falling and pouring on the ground like a gun that was violently fired; the smell of the colourless and squeezed leaves and flowers (were laid across the ground), blowing into the hole of my nostrils in air, was utterly ghastly and awful; and the sky was a row of long vexed grey lines and soft black lines intermixed with tiny glittering stars. My heart felt as though it was terribly tightened in its bloody cage, my pink palms were wetting with smelly sweats and my neck was trembling to death.
“Keep walking, but I am dying because of this weather!“ I shook, inspecting from my neck to the shoes.
“What if our parents are after us at the moment!“ Adam questioned nervously. “ I cannot believe we are sneaking out of our parents’ house at this time. “
It was almost one o’clock at night.
His face went pale. Anxiously. But I did not want to answer his question as I did not want to be worried.
At one moment, our eyes met a house party with phenomenally uncountable lights and decorations. We could see too many people, spinning, talking and laughing with cheerful looks on their faces from every window. The clouds increased darker and darker; so we decided to go there as we did not have anywhere else to go.
Once we were inside; the banging howls and cracks of maddening music, shooting against our bodies and zigzagging into our ears in air, was highly loud and noisy which swam our brains with confusion and dizziness. Adam and I kept laughing at each other while stepping backwards as we were hysterically among the filthy and sweaty smells of crazy teenage boys battled with the magnificent scents of vain and self-obsessed teenage girls.
Nervous and timid, we were being watched and examined by them with their curious, sympathetic and disgusting looks as though they were startled by the state of us. We were just little boys. OUCH!
The raindrops: fell brutally against the windows as though it desperately led me to get out; but I rejected listening to it. Adam and I jerked our heads to alertly look at each other momentarily, bitting our nails and putting our hands to our ears in order to stop being heard by the music. When we looked at the teenagers again, they still stared at us which made us feel absolutely insecure and uncomfortable.
Raising my hand in air and sauntering through the grumpy teenagers while clutching Adam’s shaky arm, I desired to escape from them. But we ultimately found an empty room; and we decided to go there.
“ Are you out of your flying mind? “ Adam shouted and laughed embarrassingly. “ I think we should get out right now “
Laughing out loud, putting my sweaty palms to the forehead and jerking my head sideways, he reminded me of the menacing and furious rain. But I did not listen to him either. I thought: “ should we get out? “ My eyes were winked to forget it. Adam became fixed on me with unbelievability and laughter.
Immediately, our eyes were filled with the sound of the bangs on the floor by footsteps - perhaps by fighting - began to concern us. The door was slowly opened in slow motion: our hearts beating out of the cages and screaming to death; our faces growing paler and paler; our shaky eyes staring at each other in drastic anxiety; and our bodies trembling so badly. As the door was opened. Rapidly. There was a gorgeous girl, who turned up, seemed to be our age.
Romantically, my heart was steadily relieved on account of the girl’s remarkable, splendid and youthful face; on account of her enormous, exquisite and earnest eyes; on account of her sort and smooth lips; on account of her radiant and light hair of brownish-blonde hue. She wore a rosy dress with sparklingly gold dots. There were watery sweat droplets, gently dripping from the top of my head. To the bushy cheeks. To the lower part of my jawline.
“ Hi, I just followed you both around! “ she chucked adorably.
We were getting along with each other; but Adam kept laughing as though it was so worthy of our absurd humiliator over the teenagers. He could not stop making us laugh and smile through talking about our marriage future. Yes, you can tell that the girl and I liked each other afterwards. She was so amiable, friendly and breathtaking!
But now...
Even though I consider that day amazing, I will never forget Adam as he was a traitor to me by stealing the girl of my super dream from me! Not only do I never forget Adam, but I will also never forget the girl because she betrayed and left me. I feel strong antipathy for them. The girl was absolutely special to my heart and Adam was one of my best friends. How could they leave me for no occasion? I will never forger them. Never. Never. Never.