Am I gay ?

I’ve always considered myself 100% straight but last night I got really really drunk and me and one of my best friends pulled and fingered each other . Every time I close my eyes it’s in my head I’m filled with so much regret and self loathing after it. I don’t know what to do it was such a mistake. I’m not even so much asking if you think I’m gay more how can I get rid of this hatred I have for myself after it

(edited 5 years ago)

Reply 1

AlwaysBroke.

17

Try sober and see what happens.

Coincidentally a similar thing happened with 2 girls in our year, who was at a party, got drunk and fingered each other. It was also recorded (but thankfully for them, it hasn't spread) by theere mate or something.

You don't happen to be 16 and live up North do you?

Reply 2

Bnaca

13

If you were drunk, then you weren't completely in control of your actions; so I'd be inclined to say that you're not gay.

Even if you were gay, or even bi-curious, I wouldn't worry about it. Perhaps it's just something that'll manifest itself in due time.

Reply 3

username3673602

OP

13

Original post by mc_miah

Try sober and see what happens.

Coincidentally a similar thing happened with 2 girls in our year, who was at a party, got drunk and fingered each other. It was also recorded (but thankfully for them, it hasn't spread) by theere mate or something.

You don't happen to be 16 and live up North do you?

No I’m not ahah

Reply 4

anonymous69gcse

19

simple answer is yes u r

Do you regret only that you did it, or do you regret enjoying it?

If the former then maybe not. If the latter then it's a possibility.

Reply 6

username3673602

OP

13

Original post by anonymous69gcse

simple answer is yes u r

Nah

Reply 7

anonymous69gcse

19

u just fingered a guy and ur telling me ur straight ... okay

Reply 8

username3673602

OP

13

Original post by sinfonietta

Do you regret only that you did it, or do you regret enjoying it?

If the former then maybe not. If the latter then it's a possibility.

I regret doing it . I didn’t enjoy it I was too drunk and only did it because she’s never kissed anyone and was upset saying she never would so then I kissed her

Reply 9

username3673602

OP

13

Original post by anonymous69gcse

u just fingered a guy and ur telling me ur straight ... okay

A girl . But I didn’t enjoy it and I regret it so much

Reply 10

alireza280202

12

So u r a girl not a boy?

Reply 11

Bnaca

13

The fact that you hate yourself for participating in gay actions, for lack of a better term, suggests some sort of underlying homophobia?

Reply 12

username3673602

OP

13

Original post by alireza280202

So u r a girl not a boy?

Yeh

Reply 13

anonymous69gcse

19

oh i thought u were a guy fingering another guy's a hole

Reply 14

alireza280202

12

I mean how u talked to the girl that you did it with? How do they feel?

Reply 15

username3673602

OP

13

Original post by Bnaca

The fact that you hate yourself for participating in gay actions, for lack of a better term, suggests some sort of underlying homophobia?

I’d say more the fact that it was with my friend and was totally inappropriate. Also I don’t hate gay people but I just never wanted an experience with a girl - too me it didn’t seem attractive or desirable. A gay person wouldn’t be criticised for thoroughly disliking a sexual experience with someone of the opposite sex

Reply 16

username3673602

OP

13

Original post by alireza280202

I mean how u talked to the girl that you did it with? How do they feel?

We just laughed in the morning. There’s no feelings there whatsoever. It wasn’t even really a sexual thing if that makes sense , there was no sexual attraction

Reply 17

Bnaca

13

Original post by Caea

I’d say more the fact that it was with my friend and was totally inappropriate. Also I don’t hate gay people but I just never wanted an experience with a girl - too me it didn’t seem attractive or desirable. A gay person wouldn’t be criticised for thoroughly disliking a sexual experience with someone of the opposite sex

Ima be completely honest with ya. I think you're scared by your potential capacity to be gay.

Reply 18

alireza280202

12

If you girls are over it, and she is feeling "normal" about what happened, then I don't understand why you are worried. Maybe it is because others know?