need advice - kissed a guy for a bet

Aw thank you so much for your reply! I'm just not sure whether being with him is worth all the confusion and people's reactions (or, if I decide not to tell anyone, the fear of people finding out). I don't know him very well just yet; what if it turns out we're not compatible at all? Do you think I should discuss these worries with him or would that be weird?

I've had two girlfriends before so I guess I can. Maybe I'm like 99% straight 1% gay.

Nah c'mon, I'm not gay just because there's one guy that I kinda like!

Aww thank you both so so much for your kind words! I guess I'll keep seeing him then . I'm actually a bit nervous to get in touch as I haven't heard from him after yesterday? What if he regrets it, or isn't looking for something serious? Also, what should I say? I really want to see him again but we literally hung out yesterday so inviting him over might be a bit too much?

Okay I just read this whole thread and this is all super cute, keep keeping us updated please! Again, to repeat what other people have said, you don't need labels. I'm bi, and theres no rigidity to sexuality, to me it ebbs and flows, theres no way to quantity your preferences they just ARE, bisexuality just means attraction to more than one gender no matter what the preference is.

Just communicate with the guy though, he deserves that. If you tell him you're working yourself out, he'll understand because he's most likely been there, trying to work himself out. He'd be good support for you if anything because he'd relate whereas obviously your lad friends are gonna be useless with this. So keep him in the know and just see where it goes. No need to work out a life plan right here right now.

I think once you felt like there was a connection between both of you, then feel free to text him again! I'm sure he would like to hang out with you as well.
Then you could talk more, as the only way to know this: "What if he regrets it, or isn't looking for something serious?" is to ask him and find out yourself.
I don't think inviting him over may be a bit too much, as I said, if you felt like there was a connection, then I'm sure he'd really want to see you again too. But if you do feel like inviting him over is a bit too much, then why not text him and plan to meet somewhere else less "much"? A park? A cafe? The library? Wherever you choose to go, keep us updated, OP. This is quite nice

Nah c'mon, I'm not gay just because there's one guy that I kinda like!

Ugh yes I'm feeling pretty bad about this, and I should definitely tell him but maybe just not in a facebook message? He seems like a decent lad and I don't want to hurt him in any way and text breakups (though I wouldn't say this is a breakup) are a bit harsh? Or do you not think so?
And should I be honest about the bet or pretend not to remember? I feel like both are bad options urgh

Btw I'm not gay or anything I just think that when you're kissing the gender doesn't really matter? He looks a bit like a girl and shaves and stuff so I barely noticed a difference, maybe also because I was drunk

Sorry to bother yous but I just came back from my meeting with him.

I just explained everything honestly. He handled it quite well, seemed a little disappointed but said that he understood. However, I'd made the grave mistake of mentioning that the bet involved me kissing a guy for ten seconds, and we'd kissed, well, a bit longer than that. He asked me about that and I was gonna play it cool, but my face turned incredibly red - why??? I was also suddenly unable to come up with an excuse, because frankly there isn't one, so I ended up awkwardly mumbling something about him being a good kisser. Man, I should shoot myself.
Anyway, the rest of the afternoon was nice, we talked about lots of things and even though we lead very different lives we appear to have a lot in common. I'm generally a bit awkward around people I don't know very well, but after that initial situation I didn't feel awkward at all. Conversation seemed to flow naturally and I reckon we might become friends .

We also exchanged phone numbers and I'm considering messaging him. Should I, or would that be weird? I've just made it clear to him that I'm not romantically interested and maybe it would send across the wrong kind of message if I reached out already?

Having missed opportunities in the past, i would recommend 'going for it'. Go out to dinner or something with him & give it a shot. You might really 'hit it off'. I have heard that you get only 3 or 4 big chances in life. This might be one of yours. You can always break up with him later, if things dont work out. I let a gal 'get away from me' in 1971, due to my lack of expressed interest, and i've always regretted it. Best of luck!!

Alright so I was at this pretty big party last night and was just joking around with some of my mates about sexuality n stuff. One of them then said that I'm apparently so scared of not being straight that I wouldn't kiss a guy for twenty quid. I, slightly drunk and incredibly skint, decided to prove him wrong.

So I approached this bloke who's pretty good looking and openly bisexual. Talked/flirted for a bit then snogged him. Dashed off with a lame excuse and got my money.

But now he's sent me a message on facebook, saying that he had a good time last night and asking me to meet up for coffee. I could've seen this coming honestly because we had a nice chat (and also a pretty nice kiss) and I'm just not sure what to do? I feel a bit bad about "using" him like this, so what should I say?

Probably bisexual.

As a straight male I'm a bit jealous of bisexuals (of either gender).

They don't get disappointed if the man to woman ratio is rubbish in a pub or club (e.g. sausage fest). They have more options.

The major problem I can foresee is that if it turns out that you are proper bisexual and one day you marry a female... you'll probably end up having an affair with a man. Or if you marry a man, an affair with a woman.

One day if you settle down you will have to suppress half of your sexuality or commit adultery to feel fulfilled, unless you find a very understanding partner - although that would probably have to be a two way street (so an open relationship).

So perhaps being bisexual actually sucks?

Okay whoa whoa whoa, being bisexual does not mean you're unfaithful there is literally no correlation. When you're dating a girl, do you have to suppress shagging every other girl you see? No, because if you're dating someone we're assuming you love them. If I settled down with someone of either gender, its because I actually care about them and want to have a relationship with them. I'm not going to cheat on them because I find other people attractive. Having that mindset not only undermines bisexuals as being the "cheaters" but would also mean ANYONE who settles down would also cheat because they're attracted to other people. Attraction does not equal promiscuous.

There have actually been numerous studies on this subject which I presume you haven't read

Bisexuals have a more negative attitude towards monogamy than any other group. There was also a study which showed bisexual women are much more likely to be in a straight relationship than a gay one (80:20 ratio).

Numerous studies have shown that bisexual people are more likely to cheat on your partner. One study showed that a bisexual is 50% more likely to have an affair than a straight person.

I'm afraid I base most of my opinions on academic research (preferably peer-reviewed) and not on anecdotal evidence or on whose feelings I may upset.

It doesn't take a genius to work out that a bi man in a straight relationship may miss a penis now and again, and a bi man in a gay relationship may get cravings for minge.

Okay whoa whoa whoa, being bisexual does not mean you're unfaithful there is literally no correlation. When you're dating a girl, do you have to suppress shagging every other girl you see? No, because if you're dating someone we're assuming you love them. If I settled down with someone of either gender, its because I actually care about them and want to have a relationship with them. I'm not going to cheat on them because I find other people attractive. Having that mindset not only undermines bisexuals as being the "cheaters" but would also mean ANYONE who settles down would also cheat because they're attracted to other people. Attraction does not equal promiscuous.

don't you think that bisexual girls end up with straight guys because theres actually more of them? .

as for cheating, its all likelihoods but not inevitable.

kinda gross for you to just come onto this thread of a guy thinking he's happy and working himself out just to whinge that YOU think HIS love life is doomed.

if you're straight, really shouldn't bother you

will never reflect absolute certainties on all bisexuals.

fully 89% of bisexual women were in monogamous, long-term relationships.

Yet another bi girl swooping in here to have some input.

And you, my friend - kudos for sticking up for the community. I was gonna comment pretty much the exact same thing before I saw you'd already taken care of it

Possibly, that would require further research I guess. Other possibilities that could be explored include whether they gravitate towards straight relationships with males due to the natural desire to conceive a child?



I never said it was inevitable, you brought that word into this debate.



Pretty sure there were quite a few people mocking him for being gay, which is blatant homophobia, and that I stated that I've long been jealous of bisexuals. Interesting that you skip the blatant homophobes to choose me for your argument. Happy to debate nonetheless.




Two things:

1). Are you saying that straight males can't contribute to certain discussions? Isn't that discriminatory?

2). I never said it bothered me, I think its nice. I'm warning you not to drag this into a direction where you begin to imply that I am in any way homophobic, because you really won't like how that game ends.



Are we playing a game of state the obvious?



Although 30% of them will cheat, so clearly not all of those 89% are happy. I'm not sure that we should continue down this path of discussing primarily bisexual females though, the OP here is a bisexual male isn't he?

There have actually been numerous studies on this subject which I presume you haven't read

Bisexuals have a more negative attitude towards monogamy than any other group. There was also a study which showed bisexual women are much more likely to be in a straight relationship than a gay one (80:20 ratio).

Numerous studies have shown that bisexual people are more likely to cheat on your partner. One study showed that a bisexual is 50% more likely to have an affair than a straight person. Contrary to their being "literally no correlation" as you claim, it looks like academic research always finds a very clear correlation.

I'm afraid I base most of my opinions on academic research (preferably peer-reviewed) and not on anecdotal evidence or on whose feelings I may upset and trigger into multiple screeches of 'whoa'. .

It doesn't take a genius to work out that a bi in a relationship with a man may get a craving for flange, and a bi in a relationship with a female may get a strong craving for a bite of sausage.

I simply think that no matter how much you believe bisexuals are destined to live sad, miserable, unfulfilled lives, its not really your place to jump in on a thread like this with someone who is trying to work themselves out and run your mouth about how *****y you think we have it, and the only good thing going for bisexuals is that we have more choice and people to get with in a club? bit sad yanno. but I get you're not going to change your opinion so whatevers,