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bf messages me sometimes at lunch but doesnt sometimes, teacher

my bf is a teacher a messages me some lunch times and some doesnt
he runs clubs
if he has a club and is in his classroom he messages me
if he doesnt and plans to go to the staffroom, he doesnt bother, and he doesnt take his phone with him in the staffroom
surely lots of teachers will have their phones in the staffrooms so i dont see why he doesn't bother
when he is on his phone he said people know he is messaging me , his gf, so by not taking it does this mean there is some member of staff he wants to talk to, has a crush on, and not put off by showing he is talking to his gf?

or am i paranoid

(he's 41, im 25)
Reply 1
Avatar for Tootles
Tootles
21
Original post by Anonymous
my bf is a teacher a messages me some lunch times and some doesnt
he runs clubs
if he has a club and is in his classroom he messages me
if he doesnt and plans to go to the staffroom, he doesnt bother, and he doesnt take his phone with him in the staffroom
surely lots of teachers will have their phones in the staffrooms so i dont see why he doesn't bother
when he is on his phone he said people know he is messaging me , his gf, so by not taking it does this mean there is some member of staff he wants to talk to, has a crush on, and not put off by showing he is talking to his gf?

or am i paranoid

(he's 41, im 25)
Teachers aren't really supposed to use their phones at school, like kids aren't. Maybe they're really strict about it and it's easier to go unnoticed when he's surrounded by people all doing something, rather than just sitting around a table eating and chatting away?
Original post by Anonymous
or am i paranoid


Yes.
Reply 3
Avatar for Anonymous #1
Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by Tootles
Teachers aren't really supposed to use their phones at school, like kids aren't. Maybe they're really strict about it and it's easier to go unnoticed when he's surrounded by people all doing something, rather than just sitting around a table eating and chatting away?


but maybe theyre not also?
Reply 4
Avatar for Anonymous #1
Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by Anonymous
Yes.

why is that clear
Reply 5
Avatar for Tootles
Tootles
21
Original post by Anonymous
but maybe theyre not also?
Not what?
I think the bigger problem here is him being 16 years older than you :colonhash:
You’re both adults. Talk to him.
Reply 8
Avatar for Anonymous #1
Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by Tootles
Not what?


strict
Reply 9
Avatar for Anonymous #1
Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by Duncan2012
You’re both adults. Talk to him.

have
he just said 'theres gonna be days like that'
when he cnt message me...
Original post by Anonymous
strict
:iiam:
His wife, the same age as him, probably works at the same school. Sorry.
Original post by Anonymous
have
he just said 'theres gonna be days like that'
when he cnt message me...


Sounds like a reasonable response. If you’re expecting him to text you every lunchtime that does seem a little excessive.
I would suggest that you trust him while he's working. Because you'll end up regretting if you two split up. He's working and he has to be focused at work just like you do. Don't make a tornado in a cup of water and let him do his job and you do yours.
Original post by Duncan2012
Sounds like a reasonable response. If you’re expecting him to text you every lunchtime that does seem a little excessive.


nah that doesnt bother me
if he never messaged id be fine
its the correlation in the op that bothers me, that inconsistency
Original post by Anonymous
I would suggest that you trust him while he's working. Because you'll end up regretting if you two split up. He's working and he has to be focused at work just like you do. Don't make a tornado in a cup of water and let him do his job and you do yours.


i know
just in the past hes been with a learning support and the inconsistency worries me
Original post by Anonymous
i know
just in the past hes been with a learning support and the inconsistency worries me


The thing is if you can't trust him, then this relationship is bound to fail. Give him the benefit of the doubt, if you don't see him acting different or being sneaky then everything is okay. You need to trust him if you want this to work. Don't regret it later on when things are over and done. Many people don't trust their partners and then it all ends and they can't believe it. They're in shock. Save yourself that and if you feel that your paranoia is getting worse, then maybe it might be time to cut the cord on your relationship. A relationship is suppose to make you feel full, not stressed and anxious.
Original post by MathsGod100
His wife, the same age as him, probably works at the same school. Sorry.

i'd b offended if i was closed-minded, didn't expect these jokes, if i couldnt laugh when i see kids from his school looking shocked or luaghing at our age gap, i only laugh back

would think ud have something better to do
Original post by Anonymous
my bf is a teacher a messages me some lunch times and some doesnt
he runs clubs
if he has a club and is in his classroom he messages me
if he doesnt and plans to go to the staffroom, he doesnt bother, and he doesnt take his phone with him in the staffroom
surely lots of teachers will have their phones in the staffrooms so i dont see why he doesn't bother
when he is on his phone he said people know he is messaging me , his gf, so by not taking it does this mean there is some member of staff he wants to talk to, has a crush on, and not put off by showing he is talking to his gf?

or am i paranoid

(he's 41, im 25)


I believe you're overthinking
Relationship is obviously not working out for you if you're this paranoid, which flows from your own insecurity that your partner has not helped you overcome. I would just end it right now and seek a relationship which makes you happy.

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