Are teachers allowed to be rude to students ?

So this is something that's been playing over in my head all day and I just wanted to get another persons view because I might be overreacting.
Today I had a meeting with a careers advisor for my possible new school. I emailed him a few weeks ago and he got back to me within a few hours to arrange an appointment. I couldn't make it until today due to a family issue but he didn't mind.
I went to the appointment today right on time because I had been excited to pick my a levels for a few months now. I gave him my gcse results and he said that there wasn't much opinions for me. Additional science B , Core Science C, Additional Math C , Religion A* , Business studies B, English Language C, English lit C , Drama B and Childcare C. He basically said I would struggle at a levels since I didn't have the grades of a student who usually passes. He told me Btec was a route I needed to consider.
What really puzzles me about this is the entry to the collage is a minimum of 3 passes at GCSE. So i was shocked he said I should be considering a vocational route.
After this my nerves went through the roof because he was basically ridiculing my marks that I worked hard for. He was saying something about doing health and social care and I stopped him and said "I started that course i couldn't finish it because..." and he told me not to interrupt him when he was speaking. I get that some people find it annoying when people interrupt them but I told him at the start I hated health and social care because I struggled with it.
Another thing was after he was talking about my grades I felt really deflated and I tried not to let that show but he noticed and leaned back in his chair and says "why are you getting upset over this" and i just tried my best to convince him I was fine because I needed out of there.
Throughout the conversation i started feeling worse and worse and it took me longer to process what he was saying so he kept saying "are you listening to what i'm saying or will i say it again?" and the more he would say stuff like this the worse it got for me.
There was a few other things like him getting insulted at the fact I misspoke and called an apprenticeship an "internship." I'm not going to write much more because this is already a bloody essay. At the end of it I still said thank you for taking time out of your day to see me. But honestly I had just wished I stayed in bed and not bothered going to see him because it's made things worse.

A/N i have autism which undoubtably contributed to how bad things got for me. I'm still crying over the way he said some things to me. I know it is his job to give advise and I'm more than likely the one in the wrong I just can't process what happened.

Reply 1

the bear

20

it is difficult to comment without knowing you. this gentleman is experienced in giving careers advice, it's not like you asked a random person about your future.
interrupting is not a good strategy for a constructive conversation.
what do you think would be a suitable career for yourself ?

Reply 2

HopelessAgony37

20

No they are not allowed! They can be fired for poor conduct or lack of professionalism. You, as a student, can be as rude as you want and they can’t do d!ck about it *****!

Reply 3

HopelessAgony37

20

Original post by the bear

it is difficult to comment without knowing you. this gentleman is experienced in giving careers advice, it's not like you asked a random person about your future.
interrupting is not a good strategy for a constructive conversation.
what do you think would be a suitable career for yourself ?

Wow, I’m glad to see you still on here, Bear!
OP, take advice from the Bear. This Bear has been giving advice on here for as long as I can remember and is literally considered a Guru on TSR! True, no lying, absolute TSR Royalty! I’m not even joking when I say that I am honored to be on the same post as you, and humbled to be able to send you a comment Bear. Thank you.
#Respect
#1RepForRespect

(edited 5 years ago)

Reply 4

the bear

20

Original post by HopelessAgony37

Wow, I’m glad to see you still on here, Bear!
OP, take advice from the Bear. This Bear has been giving advice on here for as long as I can remember and is literally considered a Guru on TSR! True, no lying, absolute TSR Royalty! I’m not even joking when I say that I am honored to be on the same post as you, and humbled to be able to send you a comment Bear. Thank you.
#Respect
#1RepForRespect

Reply 5

HopelessAgony37

20

Original post by the bear

(Gahhh! He said my name!) I love it!!! Wish I could give another rep to you for being officially knighted by the Bear himself!! Literally the proudest TSR moment I’ve ever had! Made my day! Thank you!!!

Reply 6

the bear

20

Original post by HopelessAgony37

(Gahhh! He said my name!) I love it!!! Wish I could give another rep to you for being officially knighted by the Bear himself!! Literally the proudest TSR moment I’ve ever had! Made my day! Thank you!!!

You must vow to dedicate yourself to a lifetime of helping others with sound advice and good counsel. If you can sort out spelling problems then that is a bonus.

God Speed Sir Hopeless

:h:

Reply 7

HopelessAgony37

20

Original post by the bear

You must vow to dedicate yourself to a lifetime of helping others with sound advice and good counsel. If you can sort out spelling problems then that is a bonus.

God Speed Sir Hopeless

:h:

Indeed I shall, Sire! Indeed I shall.. :cry2:

Reply 8

doodle_333

19

Op - I don't think he was too unreasonable. Most a level courses at my college required a B in a relevant subject, some an A. With your grades A levels probably aren't the right route.

Obviously he wasn't too understanding of your autism with the nitpicking over your behaviour. That wasn't rude but it was unnecessary and he should have been understanding that you would be disappointed with what he said.

Try and move on and perhaps chat to a teacher you feel understands you about what you've heard and try and only take the useful details away.

Reply 9

bones-mccoy

19

He was definitely being inconsiderate as you were obviously shocked and upset at what he said, but you shouldn't have interrupted. What are the entry requirements for the school exactly? If it just does say a minimum of 3 passes at GCSE then I'm confused as to why he said your grades weren't good enough when they clearly are. It's also strange that a school would have such low requirements - even colleges usually ask for at least 5 passes at GCSE level with some subjects asking for additional requirements i.e A Level Psychology wanting a B in Maths etc.

(edited 5 years ago)

Reply 10

marupe

16

To be honest if you had already mentioned that you did HSC and he told you afterwards to do it, you were absolutely in the correct to interrupt because it doesn't seem like he was listening to you at all and is probably a talker more than a listener. Which isn't great in a careers advisor but hey ho...

Take it on the chin OP, probably a **** person (if they noticed you were getting upset and rudely challenged that instead of being understanding, especially if you have autism and especially in a school environment) and you can't change that. Can you talk to anyone else in that school about your options?

Reply 11

LibertarianMP

18

I reported a Computing teacher to the head for being rude once and he spoke to her about it, I'd do the same here if I were you

Arrogance to students is unacceptable

Reply 12

username3012438

15

Original post by HopelessAgony37

No they are not allowed! They can be fired for poor conduct or lack of professionalism. You, as a student, can be as rude as you want and they can’t do d!ck about it *****!

And this is why I would never be a teacher.

What ever happend to respect thy elders?

Reply 13

HopelessAgony37

20

Original post by bones-mccoy

He was definitely being inconsiderate as you were obviously shocked and upset at what he said, but you shouldn't have interrupted. What are the entry requirements for the school exactly? If it just does say a minimum of 3 passes at GCSE then I'm confused as to why he said your grades weren't good enough when they clearly are. It's also strange that a school would have such low requirements - even colleges usually ask for at least 5 passes at GCSE level with some subjects asking for additional requirements i.e A Level Psychology wanting a B in Maths etc.

1 rep for being cute.

Note: I didn’t read a word of what you said. Enjoy your rep.

Reply 14

HopelessAgony37

20

Original post by ayyy2

And this is why I would never be a teacher.

What ever happend to respect thy elders?

Exactly I gotta agree. I meant it angrily, as in the teachers’ hands are tied and these little brats nowadays can do whatever they please.
It’s sad.

Reply 15

Fresh health

2

My son is autistic. When people over talk he cannot process the information. I think you should have said right at the start just to let you know I'm autistic and it takes me longer to process a conversation so please be patient if I ask the same question twice. This allows you to feel comfortable to ask again if you've not followed. However my son has had to deal with many awful teachers. He recently had a teacher tell him ' you speak like your in the hood' my son is mixed race but actually has no black relatives in his life and no black friends so certainly not from the hood! My son asked the same teacher a question and he said can't you read either! My son has also had teachers tell him to move school, and that he will end up in a stock room or warehouse because he can't do math. Any child with learning difficulties should get support and encouragement. By the way your grades are amazing. You can do online A levels that don't have any entry requirements. It may be an option, that way you can do what you want to do, it's just less social and you have to be self motivated, but you could get a part time job and that will build your confidence in people. In my opinion schools are a bad environment, full of angry abusive nasty adults, I don't know why, maybe they couldn't do anything else. And there's no other place that will except abuse other than schools.

Reply 16

Reality Check

22

Original post by Fresh health

My son is autistic. When people over talk he cannot process the information. I think you should have said right at the start just to let you know I'm autistic and it takes me longer to process a conversation so please be patient if I ask the same question twice. This allows you to feel comfortable to ask again if you've not followed. However my son has had to deal with many awful teachers. He recently had a teacher tell him ' you speak like your in the hood' my son is mixed race but actually has no black relatives in his life and no black friends so certainly not from the hood! My son asked the same teacher a question and he said can't you read either! My son has also had teachers tell him to move school, and that he will end up in a stock room or warehouse because he can't do math. Any child with learning difficulties should get support and encouragement. By the way your grades are amazing. You can do online A levels that don't have any entry requirements. It may be an option, that way you can do what you want to do, it's just less social and you have to be self motivated, but you could get a part time job and that will build your confidence in people. In my opinion schools are a bad environment, full of angry abusive nasty adults, I don't know why, maybe they couldn't do anything else. And there's no other place that will except abuse other than schools.