How can I stop going to church?

I am off to church soon (5pm), but having done it nearly every week for over 16 years, I am really beginning to get fed up with it. FYI - It is a Catholic Church.

Here is why:
1) It takes time out of my day off.
2) It is really boring.
3) It sucks the life out of me - it's as if there is absolutely no emotion or happiness allowed.
4) I lean more towards being agnostic rather than any specific faith.
5) The Priests don't tend to be very nice people (some are downright horrid).
6) I am gay and feel uncomfortable in a church full of people that oppose my rights.

What should I do? I'm turning 17 in November and want to quit it then.

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Reply 1

londonmyst

If you don't want to go to church stop going.
It really is as simple as that.
Religious observance is a personal choice.

I go to church (usually catholic) twice a year- Christmas and Easter.
My maternal grandmother is an ultra traditionalist catholic, who rejected vatican ii reforms and keeps to the more hardline factions of the clergy.
Her favourite topics of conversation revolve around the devil, sin and punishment. Nothing to say about love, repentance or forgiveness.
My mother is none too thrilled about my lack of church attendance but my father is militant atheist, her parents disinherited her when she told them she was going to marry my father.

Reply 2

Sinnoh

Just... don't go? It's not an addiction. It's less effort to not go than it is to actually attend.

Reply 3

The_Lonely_Goatherd

Would there be any repercussions from family members if you were not to go? If not/if it's safe to, then just tell your family how you feel. They may not like it but ultimately it ought to be your decision :yes:

If there are likely to be severe repercussions, then it might be safer to wait til you go to uni and/or are financially independent :yes:

Sorry to hear that the priests aren't nice people. So many bad priests all over the place - tiz disheartening :sadnod:

Reply 4

username3161682

Just back. Rubbish as usual.

They seem to be actively trying to get my sister (14) to go to church. I don't want to be an additional burden. I can't see there being much repercussions, but it would anger them.

The priests are awful. Some may seem nice but have a nasty side and are so delusional that it is pointless trying to say anything to them. Others are downright bad human beings.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Maybe find another if you find your current one boring?
There are much livelier churches to attend, if you are questioning your faith there are friendlier pastors to talk to

Reply 6

flaurie

Volunteer Team

OP, if you don’t feel like you can tell your family straight away, come up with excuses not to go :dontknow:

your family should get the hint after a few weeks

Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd

Sorry to hear that the priests aren't nice people. So many bad priests all over the place - tiz disheartening :sadnod:

Not all priests are bad people - I’ve never met a nasty Church of England priest (and I’ve met a lot through my family :lol:

)

Reply 7

flaurie

Volunteer Team

Also maybe the catholic denomination is not for you - there are other types of churches you could try?

Reply 8

princessjoy

I would also say, before you rule out your faith, as religion and going to church isn't only what makes you a person who has a faith- but the joy you feel giving your time to God and helping others, free of charge. If you can definitely find that elsewhere then that's good too- remember one bad obstacle/ experience shouldn't dictate everything you decide.

Reply 9

username3161682

I am gay though, so me and religion are probably not compatible.

Reply 10

asdfasdfsadf

Original post by Joe2001

I am gay though, so me and religion are probably not compatible.

pray away the gay

Reply 11

multieman

Original post by Joe2001

I am gay though, so me and religion are probably not compatible.

Maybe you could ask God to help you by attending a different church.

Reply 12

username3161682

Original post by asdfasdfsadf

pray away the gay

What's wrong with being gay?

Reply 13

The_Lonely_Goatherd

Original post by laurawatt

Not all priests are bad people - I’ve never met a nasty Church of England priest (and I’ve met a lot through my family :lol:

)

I never meant to imply they're all bad - just some! :tongue:

I'm practising Roman Catholic and I've been fortunate to know lots of amazing RC priests, as well as Anglican priests too :five:

Original post by Joe2001

I am gay though, so me and religion are probably not compatible.

Whilst I'm not trying to persuade you to stay RC/religious if it's not for you, one can be religious and LGBTQ+. Am living proof of that :jebus:

Reply 14

ShantelleLuis

Your church definitely needs to accept any orientations which aren't straight. The one down my road accepts and appreciates all. I don't go to it though, I'm just a lil straight ally that goes to a teeny tiny private church :wink:

Reply 15

The_Lonely_Goatherd

Original post by Joe2001

They'll get over it eventually. I'd suggest just telling them tbh, if all it will do is anger them. It may not be pleasant at first and there will no doubt be ridiculous comments and sideways looks at you whenever they're getting ready to go to church. But it should pass in time.

My dad hit the roof when he realised I'm the only practising Roman Catholic daughter he has (and ironically, I'm the only daughter who can't attend church). He felt he'd failed as a father, blah blah.

He's still kinda in denial about it tbh. But even he's got over it to an extent :tongue:

Reply 16

Anonymous #1

Original post by ecojerri

Its good that the church by you is accepting. God loves us all despite any of our sins and wants us to treat each other with kindness even if we have differing opinions and faiths.
The issue with christian churches is that everyone labels them as homophobes straight away if anyone says anything that does not seem to support the LGBT community.
Yes some people are homophobes, cannot dispute that but at the same time people cannot change a religion to suit themselves or society. So with the whole issue about being gay in church, it is very contradictory towards God.
In the bible it says that a man should not lie with a man as it is a sin
But this does not give the right for anyone to hate a gay man as we are all sinners and should all be loved by God. He should not be turned away from church because of his orientation, people should be happy enough that the person is willing to come to church.
These days everything is about a persons sexuality which is annoying because I feel like we are forgetting more important things like personality, the way someone treats someone else.
There is a way of holding an opinion whilst being respectful and not promoting hate. It is contradictory when churches turn people away for being gay. If the idea of being a christian is to be christ like, you want your brothers and sisters to turn to God despite their lifestyle or what they’ve faced in life.