Not wanting to be in contact with a friend anymore? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
#1
We hardly ever speak as it is, but every few weeks she’ll start a conversation being like ‘hey how are you?’ and will suggest to meet up.

For long, complicated reasons I no longer have interest in being in contact with this friend. One of the reasons being that I just don’t enjoy her company as we have nothing in common and are pretty much only friends because ‘it’s the way it’s always been’. Interactions often feel forced and awkward. When we were closer, the friendship was really toxic so I pulled away. I can’t have that happening again.

I would appreciate being told if a friend no longer wanted contact with me, instead of being ‘ghosted’ but I wouldn’t know how to word it. Like ‘I want nothing to do with you so stop contacting me’???

Or should I keep saying ‘I’m busy’ until she gets the hint? It annoys me when that’s done to me, but it seems like the least ‘dramatic’ way.

Thoughts?
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Tiger Rag
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#2
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From experience, if you tell them not contact you, they'll just try to keep on contacting you.

Can you not just cut her off like a supposed friend of mine did?
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xoxAngel_Kxox
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If you don't want to contact her anymore, and don't mind what she thinks, just tell the truth. Just say you don't feel like you have anything in common anymore, and you didn't find her friendship to be particularly beneficial last time when you were closer. Provide examples if possible.

She might not like it, but it's better to be truthful than to continue with a false friendship.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Tiger Rag)
From experience, if you tell them not contact you, they'll just try to keep on contacting you.

Can you not just cut her off like a supposed friend of mine did?
It seems so harsh to just completely cut contact without proving an explanation, I would not want it done to me. How did it feel to be cut off by your friend?
(Original post by xoxAngel_Kxox)
If you don't want to contact her anymore, and don't mind what she thinks, just tell the truth. Just say you don't feel like you have anything in common anymore, and you didn't find her friendship to be particularly beneficial last time when you were closer. Provide examples if possible.

She might not like it, but it's better to be truthful than to continue with a false friendship.
That might be a good idea, although she’s one of those people who cannot take no for an answer, so might be challenging lol.
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UncertainCertain
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You could just explain "I feel like we've gone down two different paths in life. While I will not forget our friendship and its journey, I think we've drifted too far now, into new and different people, who no longer fit. I don't want to force, when it feels awkward. A friendship should not be forced."
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 1 year ago
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(Original post by UncertainCertain)
You could just explain "I feel like we've gone down two different paths in life. While I will not forget our friendship and its journey, I think we've drifted too far now, into new and different people, who no longer fit. I don't want to force, when it feels awkward. A friendship should not be forced."
Hmm, that might be a good idea.
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username2628955
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Went through smth similar. I had a bit of a toxic relationship with a friend (although it wasn't obvious) and I was internally glad when she moved away to college, and I stayed on for sixth form.

For months and months afterwards, she would frequently text and call me, just for some - in my opinion - slightly pointless chat that like you, I often felt forced to make. She also asked to meet up countless times. Had to wonder why she was making such effort when she never did before!

Anyways, it's now been about 2 years and we hardly chat at all.

Has your friend moved away? Is there much of a chance that you'll see her again, outside of arranged meetups? If not, I don't really think direct confrontation is necessary. I knew that I wouldn't see my friend often, so I just gradually distanced myself.

I'd reply to her messages, but just leave longer periods of time in between. Like, if she messages you, just leave it for even a few days. After doing that, we pretty much ceased contact. I would stop picking up her calls too.

If she's moved away, then chances are she will make new friends. My friends made some new buddies and I think that that definitely pulled her away from our relationship a bit too, which was a relief.

I think just give it some time and don't rush to create distance. If she's still contacting you, she might not know that your relationship was toxic, so imo... it would be harsh to just straight up tell her to cut communication.
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 1 year ago
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(Original post by Anygy)
Went through smth similar. I had a bit of a toxic relationship with a friend (although it wasn't obvious) and I was internally glad when she moved away to college, and I stayed on for sixth form.

For months and months afterwards, she would frequently text and call me, just for some - in my opinion - slightly pointless chat that like you, I often felt forced to make. She also asked to meet up countless times. Had to wonder why she was making such effort when she never did before!

Anyways, it's now been about 2 years and we hardly chat at all.

Has your friend moved away? Is there much of a chance that you'll see her again, outside of arranged meetups? If not, I don't really think direct confrontation is necessary. I knew that I wouldn't see my friend often, so I just gradually distanced myself.

I'd reply to her messages, but just leave longer periods of time in between. Like, if she messages you, just leave it for even a few days. After doing that, we pretty much ceased contact. I would stop picking up her calls too.

If she's moved away, then chances are she will make new friends. My friends made some new buddies and I think that that definitely pulled her away from our relationship a bit too, which was a relief.

I think just give it some time and don't rush to create distance. If she's still contacting you, she might not know that your relationship was toxic, so imo... it would be harsh to just straight up tell her to cut communication.
We live in the same village and we very rarely see each other outside of arranged meetups. I saw her and her dad in the supermarket a few days back. Yeah I might go with the slow fade, and maybe give her an explanation if she keeps persisting.
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