What Is Wrong With Arranged Marriage?

I see it something like family members just suggesting people you might like to be with. Some of my white mates think its some extreme forceful sht where you get married based on a picture you see of each other 😂. I guess that would be more forced marriage.

Do you think arranged marriage and forced marriage are often confused?

Maybe in England arranged marriage is kinda like having options but in other countries it pretty much is forced marriage.

Still, I don't see the issue being with people encouraging others to consider their daughter/son but being with use of force. I think people wrongly assume arranged marriage is always forceful.

kind of is forceful cos its family pressure and your parents are picking out a person for you
its not really love either lol

True sometimes it can be. However, family pressure is not force as in you have no choice. At least from what I see it is more like you have options to choose from. After choosing you then get to know the people a little more and as for if it is true love or not...well who is in love with anyone from first sight? That's a bunch of bs lol. Parents choosing can cause issues but again- there can be a good matter of free will so if you dislike who is chosen you can decline.

arranged marriages arent true love lmao
never believed in true love at first sight - you are old enough to find love to yourself but tbh you shouldnt be looking for it it will come to you

Why is it any different to say Tinder or any of that other bs online stuff people use where they pretty much meet with strangers and 'look' for love

I have a similar view to you petrol but I don't really get what you mean about what the purpose of arrange marriage initially was. If it was something in the past should not be more concerning that what it is now. In a lot of places it is not something a reasonable person would class as promoting a demonic ideology.

you dont get it do you.

arranged marriage involve family and its desperate. it shows that you are incapable of communicating with the opposite gender and need your parents to find a family friend so you can marry them. its actually sad if you think about it cos its not love at all

love comes to you

I think they are often confused and a lot of people who argue against arranged marriages actually have a problem with forced marriages. In other countries, often they are the same thing though.

BUT a lot if people have problems with just arranged marriages too. Nowadays in, say, the UK (or other Western countries), marriage is about love and you finding the right partner. Therefore we find the idea of parents recommending a person to you (1) not for love - it’s just marriage because you’re in the same culture/religion. It’s a marriage of convenience based on status and (2) it’s controlling because your parents are controlling your life too much.

I think the main difference is if it’s an arranged marriage, you probably don’t love each other and might not even be a good match, so you’re just getting married to please your family and to have children. Also the marriages are often not happy because it isn’t the right partner for you - just someone who your parents approve of.

^I mean no disrespect with this. I’m just explaining how a lot of people see it.

Question for OP: What’s the point in an arranged marriage? Why do you think it’s a good idea?

Wow. I guess you're are right. I just don't see why it would be an issue if you did not follow the standards and did it but in your own slow less desperate way. Also, you do end up communicating with all the opp sex as you look for people just like you would speak when meeting people on dates or whatever. Still, I guess you are right that too much communication can come from your parents BUT this does not always have to be the case.

I see it something like family members just suggesting people you might like to be with. Some of my white mates think its some extreme forceful sht where you get married based on a picture you see of each other 😂. I guess that would be more forced marriage.

Do you think arranged marriage and forced marriage are often confused?

I haven't decided on if arranged marriage is for me. I just also haven't seen a reason to fully exclude it. I know it can be done the way everyone else does it but does not have to be like that. For example you mention parents being very controlling, well- that does not have to be the case if someone used arranged marriage that involved parents finding them someone but nothing more. It could be excessive communication from parents while it is also possible for this not to be the case. So, when people generalise what it is for everyone it makes little sense to me. We don't all have the same parents yet we assume all arranged marriages would be a certain way. Still, I know parent communication is just one aspect.

kind of is forceful cos its family pressure and your parents are picking out a person for you
its not really love either lol

I get what you mean and yes it will differ between each situation. I would argue it is always controlling though, for lack of a better word. They might not be forceful, so they're just finding someone and giving you the option, but they are still being overly involved in your life. Parents are important but it's your life, not theirs, and from a Western perspective, they shouldn't be deciding things in your life for you beyond childhood. And to be fair, you asked about arranged marriage in general so it's hard not to generalise... But I'm curious - what are the benefits of an arranged marriage for you? And what is your opinion on the fact that it's marriage for status/convenience rather than love?