I noticed that I’m always the person who starts and if I don’t it never starts. This wasn’t recently but it’s being happening for some time but I never noticed it till I was drowning so deep that I actually wanted someone to lean on.
When I start a conversation with someone it goes great and goes on for a while. We talk about almost anything from likes to dislikes, hobbies and anything we can talk about, it even goes as far as personal moments where they open up to me which makes me happy that they trust me enough to open up to me and tell me about their personal struggles, personally I cherish those moments because it feels genuine and makes me think they’re genuinely my friends.
But I’ve noticed that I’m always starting conversations and on top of that I’m keeping it going by asking more question to invoke a response, It feels like I’m the one who always drives the car and steer it and if I stop they won’t try and drive it by themselves… they just leave.
I even went on to create a “bonding moment” to counter this but I always seem to ask more and get asked less and in the end it didn’t look like a progressive counter.
Recently when I went off fb for 2 months and when I came back there wasn’t a message asking how I was or any mention and after that was nothing, no one contacted me but when I spark a conversation they’re ready to go, even though they are reply late.
I don’t understand this, am I missing out on something? Or am I asking for too much? Should I just continue this? Right now I feel like I have absolutely have no friends amongst my "friends".
I get that some people are shy but this is the majority of my friends and even when I meet new people they’re still the same; I start or it never starts.
I’m not asking for too much, just a simple “Hi, how is your day?” would do much and mean a lot.
When I make friends I expect a mutual platonic relationship and not someone who’s only useful to increase the number of fb friends or an expendable tool.