need advice - kissed a guy for a bet

I've thought about that, but actually, no. As much as I love my boyfriend, I'm not going to put him first. Because then what if we break up? I'm going to be left with absolutely nothing! And, if our relationship is strong enough to be a long term thing, then it should also be strong enough to survive us living far apart.

Aww thank you so so much! Would be nice to make money out of this haha. Maybe my boy can turn it into a book, he's good with words, and then when it sells we'll buy a nice seaside house together lol. Nah but seriously, it surprises me that actual people are actually invested in this story!

Don't worry about that! My sister had her first kiss at 19 and she's now dating the guy, and there's probably people out there who are even older and still find love! You'll be fine, I'm sure xxx

I've thought about that, but actually, no. As much as I love my boyfriend, I'm not going to put him first. Because then what if we break up? I'm going to be left with absolutely nothing! And, if our relationship is strong enough to be a long term thing, then it should also be strong enough to survive us living far apart.



Aww thank you so so much! Would be nice to make money out of this haha. Maybe my boy can turn it into a book, he's good with words, and then when it sells we'll buy a nice seaside house together lol. Nah but seriously, it surprises me that actual people are actually invested in this story!



Don't worry about that! My sister had her first kiss at 19 and she's now dating the guy, and there's probably people out there who are even older and still find love! You'll be fine, I'm sure xxx

I KNEW IT! Lmao literally me too tho, and I love it so muchh!! EVAK & (ANONYMOUS#1 + HIS GUY) FOREVER!
Have you watched Eyewitness too???

hell yes!! evak & philkas (is that their ship name?) are my OTPs actually we really need a name for 'anonymous #1 + his guy'!! but we don't know their names do we?

Not gonna lie the selling as a book idea isn't bad. There's so little LGBT fiction out there (although there's a lot more nowadays than there used to be). I guess your story reminds me of this book called Simon Vs The Homosapiens Agenda (which got turned into a film called Love Simon earlier this year actually so you've probably heard of that) but a way cuter story imo. I'm intending on investing my friends in it too in September lmao cos it's too cute and perfect not to.

Aww thanks so much, I really hope so!

Just to add to your point, you are right that if you were going to work long distance, you will. It's very tempting for some people to feel that because they're in a relationship that they should turn down opportunities, where the result of that can possibly lead to resentment. It's, however, best to talk to the bf about it just to get his view and of course demonstrate healthy communication

Jumping in again. We spoke before you told mum
I’m so glad you did
And I’m happy for you and bf.
On to dad. In this situation I think you are going to have to be the grown up.
I suggested before that our generation are not very good at what we don’t understand. Remember that for us growing up being gay had not long been legal and if you’ve been taught it’s a crime then it’s hard. I’m not remotely homophobic but some people do struggle. You have grown up knowing other people who are gay. We didn’t. I don’t remember a single person in my entire school life that we knew was gay. And although it will seem a lifetime ago to you it’s not that long. I finished a level in 1987.
I can never excuse his behaviour but he would appear to have taken two steps forward and one step back. And he’ll do this for a long time.
If you take the adult role here it may happen a little quicker
When he makes his comments then you should say something like, dad, please don’t speak about me that way, and just leave the room. Ultimately he’s your dad and he loves you. He’s just being a total Neanderthal.
I totally understand if you can’t do it though.
You have mum onside and that is what you need.
He will get there.
Congratulations, keep going and best of luck

Ps. I can sing the Norwegian national anthem if you’re looking for a wedding singer! 😜

Yupp! I'm really wishing i'm not on anon now cos I know no one irl who knows philkas and just eyewitness is one of the greatest shows to ever exist! (Great storyline, great characters, great acting, AND THE GAYS). I was thinking "Anonyguy" but that sounds kinda wired so I stuck with "Anonymos #1 + His guy" lol.

I've seen Love, Simon actually! (boyfriend made me watch it) I almost cried when Blue finally showed up, so so cute! We'll see what the future holds, maybe we'll turn this into a book someday, who knows. Maybe I'll show my boyfriend this thread but I'm not sure lol. He's been on the student room a couple times (mostly to read about ucas applications), so perhaps it won't be long until he signs up and has a look at the other at the other sections too...



Exactly! The boyfriend has been very supportive so far, he thinks we'll definitely be able to make long distance work. He's looking to move to England himself (his dad's willing to pay 9k a year apparently), so it's not like we're gonna be near each other next year anyway. Sucks, but once we've been through uni we'll be able to settle down together (I hope so at least). We haven't really discussed that yet because it's all so far away though and we've only been together for like 3 months (I forgot our anniversary date. I'm awful. Like, I thought it wouldn't matter but I've since learned he cares about that sort of thing and now I'm fuuucked)



Thank you so much! I'm trying to be understanding towards my dad, and I can somewhat understand he's not ok with the gay thing (as you say - it's hard to get rid of your old beliefs, and he's probably also a bit shocked). I've mostly been ignoring him but sometimes I just want to strangle him, the things he says are so harsh and even though I know I'm not as bad as he says, it really hurts me. But he's got some business trip thing coming up so he won't be around for most of september!

Ps. I had to sing the anthem every week at primary school, it still haunts me in my dreams lol

Anniversary implies year darling

I've seen Love, Simon actually! (boyfriend made me watch it) I almost cried when Blue finally showed up, so so cute! We'll see what the future holds, maybe we'll turn this into a book someday, who knows. Maybe I'll show my boyfriend this thread but I'm not sure lol. He's been on the student room a couple times (mostly to read about ucas applications), so perhaps it won't be long until he signs up and has a look at the other at the other sections too...

Exactly! The boyfriend has been very supportive so far, he thinks we'll definitely be able to make long distance work. He's looking to move to England himself (his dad's willing to pay 9k a year apparently), so it's not like we're gonna be near each other next year anyway. Sucks, but once we've been through uni we'll be able to settle down together (I hope so at least). We haven't really discussed that yet because it's all so far away though and we've only been together for like 3 months (I forgot our anniversary date. I'm awful. Like, I thought it wouldn't matter but I've since learned he cares about that sort of thing and now I'm fuuucked)

totally agree!!! i loooove eyewitness so much, im trying to get my friends to watch it but to no avail so far... "anonyguy" is a bit weird indeed haha, but i can't really come up with something better it's so cute how anon was like 'wuuut i'm not gay' and now they're in loooove, it's made my life so much better reading this

Oh really? How did things work out for you?





Oh god no I'd be horrified if he found this thread!! He's totally the type of person to be on tsr though so I'm kinda afraid he has read it all and is just laughing at how pathetic I am.

But no seriously I'm really grateful for the fan group and all the support it's given! Which is why I'll share the story of our date (k no it's mostly because I want to gush about him some more... shht)

So we met up at the bus station. He was looking amazing. So much prettier than I remembered him to be. We greeted each other with a little hi and an awkward wave, he seemed nervous, looking at the ground and fidgeting with his jacket. I was very nervous myself too and couldn't come up with anything to say (argh why am I so socially incompetent). So neither of us spoke while waiting, which was so!! awkward!!

Luckily the bus came in pretty soon and when we were seated I told him I'd read his favourite book (that he'd recommended the other day). To me, a literature layman, it was just some dark tale about a poor man making bad decisions. He, however, went into some rant on the deeper philosophical and psychological layers of the book, as well as its historical context, the author, and whatnot. It was actually quite interesting, plus it was cute to see him talk about something that he clearly cares about a lot.

We then arrived at our destination, a small seaside town. We went to play mini golf and man, that boy has the hand-eye coordination of a bloody giraffe, he probably spent more time looking for his ball because it'd gone out of bounds again than actually playing. Needless to say I completely slaughtered him. He turned out to be a pretty sore loser, but that's alright because we all have flaws, it was kinda cute and he forgot about it as soon as he got ice cream. (ok it sounds like he's a massive baby now ahah honestly he's not, he's one of the most smart and mature people i know)

Then we went to the beach. The weather was lovely and we had a wee walk. We finally talked, about school, tv, just small talk really. He also got really hyped because of seashells, pretty much shoving them into my face ("ohhh look at this one, it's so pretty!!". It was so endearing!

After a while we went into the sand dunes to sit down and it turns out he brought jaffa cakes and wine with him! He said wine's so romantic but he didn't have any glasses with him so we just had to drink straight from the bottle - how romantic indeed. Anyway I'm glad he brought up romance because the whole day nothing had happened between us yet, to the point where I was starting to think he wanted to be just friends. Now that my doubts had been dealt with and there was no one around (sadly I'm still scared of people, even strangers, seeing me being 'gay' in public), I finally touched his hair! (idk why that excites me so much, I guess he just has really soft hair haha). One thing lead to another and we had a lovely snog. He's such a good kisser.

After a while we started walking back to the town, it was getting a bit colder and it was really windy on the beach. Silly me hadn't brought a layer to wear over my t shirt but then he offered me his jacket (how cliche lol). The walk passed in relative silence but, unlike before, it wasn't awkward at all.

When we got back he took me out for a 'romantic dinner' (at the chippy haha). Neither of us were really hungry so we just shared one. I told him about me telling my mum about him. We talked about that for a bit and I said something along the lines of 'she's so excited, basically started planning our wedding, and i'm just like muuum, we're not even official yet'. There was a moment of silence before he asked, in a very shy/tentative/adorable way: 'well, would you want to be?'

I said yes, and he got the biggest smile I've ever seen on that beautiful face of his. Sooooo cute. I kissed him, even though we were in public, but I didn't really care in that moment because holy **** I'd just gotten myself a boyfriend!?

Sadly the day was reaching its end, we took the bus back home and held hands the entire time (a bit scary, some people were definitely looking at us weirdly, but I should really try not to care about that). He suggested we take turns asking each other questions to get to know one another better. I started by asking him if he had any siblings. Yes, one sister, his turn. He asked me what's your biggest fear? Like alright that escalated quickly. I told him I'm afraid of living an empty, unfulfilling life, where every day is the same, nothing ever happens, you don't mean anything to anyone, nothing means anything to you, that sort of thing. I'd never told anyone that before. Turns out his fear is very similar to mine, which is honestly so wonderful.

The bus ride was way too short and soon we were standing at the bus station again, about to go our separate ways. I told him that I'd had a wonderful time and all that. I briefly considered inviting him over to my place for the night but I think that's a bit too soon. We hugged each other goodbye and went home.

Oh woah, I just spent like thirty minutes writing this, it's become way too long! I'm sorry hahah. It was just such an amazing day, he's such an amazing person, I think I'm in love with him. I don't believe in soulmates or anything but if I did I'd definitely think he was mine. And I still have his jacket, which is an amazing excuse to see him again

This post was on the 8th of June. I guess this is your anniversry date, you're welcome lol.

Cool!! You're boyfriend has very good taste! (I haven't had the chance to watch the film yetbut that scene in the book was so damn cute!) I hope you guys turn it into a book lol. I think he'd find this thread the cutest thing ever but it's very personal to you so make sure you're ok with showing it to someone irl before showing it to him.

IKR samee and i'm so so annoyed that they didn't renew it for a second season! I was voting and everything!
It's the cutest thing ever! And how he was insisting that the first kiss was definitely not gay. Anonymous #1 you're character development was amazing! This entire thread like shows the process of you figuring out your sexuality (and acctually has a happy ending - you finally dating the guy u initially kissed for a dare)

IKR samee and i'm so so annoyed that they didn't renew it for a second season! I was voting and everything!
It's the cutest thing ever! And how he was insisting that the first kiss was definitely not gay. Anonymous #1 you're character development was amazing! This entire thread like shows the process of you figuring out your sexuality (and acctually has a happy ending - you finally dating the guy u initially kissed for a dare)

Aww thanks, I'm actually really happy I had this thread - if not, I'd probably still be in denial of my gay feelings lol.
Side note: it's really funny how you guys are fangirling while I'm just here reading it... but if you need a "ship name", I guess I can tell you our names. Main reason I haven't is because I hate mine! Anyway, my boyfriend's name's Connor, and as for my name... let's just say I usually go by Alex

ikkrrr!! it totally deserved a second season!
ahahah yes that was hilarious, like yeah mate you had a deep kiss with a guy, you enjoyed it, you want to see him again - not gay all, suuuure XDD but yes, amazing character development! i'm so proud of you anon #1

alex? short for alexander? that's not that bad! anyways, thanks for telling us! connex? allor? annor? calex?

Hmm yeah exactly, I mean the first few pages are kinda funny with the whole "I'm definitely not gay" "lol I kissed him again" "maybe a little gay", but then after that it's just about my friends and my dad and my feelings, not sure if I want him to read all of that. I'm actually kinda worried someone from real life will find this - it's not like they wouldn't know it's me, I've shared a lot of things about myself!

Aww thanks, I'm actually really happy I had this thread - if not, I'd probably still be in denial of my gay feelings lol.
Side note: it's really funny how you guys are fangirling while I'm just here reading it... but if you need a "ship name", I guess I can tell you our names. Main reason I haven't is because I hate mine! Anyway, my boyfriend's name's Connor, and as for my name... let's just say I usually go by Alex

ikkrrr!! it totally deserved a second season!
ahahah yes that was hilarious, like yeah mate you had a deep kiss with a guy, you enjoyed it, you want to see him again - not gay all, suuuure XDD but yes, amazing character development! i'm so proud of you anon #1

Aw yes I know! All the stupid excuses I used back then just make me laugh now haha. Thanks anyway!

Hahah you wish (or I wish, at least) it were short for Alexander! It's actually some Gaelic version thereof, Alistair. Moreover, my surname begins with Mc, so the whole thing heavily implies I'm a kilt-wearing redhead with an affinity for bagpipe music and haggis. Just so you know, I'm none of those things lol. I think I'll have it changed to Alex sometime, then just marry Connor to get rid of the clan surname and I'll be good.

In other news, I was at his mum's birthday yesterday! So I met some of his family, which made me feel so nervous at first but they were all really friendly! And like, totally okay with us being boyfriends! So that's good I suppose.

Fair enough

Aww both cute names! But aren't you worried people u know irl will figure it out with your names? Why do u hate your name?? It's really nice and I bet Connor loves it tho lol!

And I love how philip actor's girlfriend ships Philkas too!
Totally not gay at all But ditto Anon #1 I too am soo proud of you!

So many options... I think I like allor cos it kinda sounds like amor which is love in french... Calex isn't bad either. What do u think anon #1/Alex (Do u have a preference?)?

Ah ok that makes sense lol... Your dad the overly masculine obsessed person named you Alistair of all names (No offence).

Aww nice! I'm so glad it went ok and his family are accepting!

Yeah I'm a bit worried about that, but on the other hand I've already shared so much about myself that people are gonna figure it out anyway. I'm just praying that no one I know will ever find this! Connor likes my name indeed, but he's probably a bit biased because that boy has the hots for me hehe. He says you can make it sound French, and that suits me, because I "look like a French boy" (no idea what that's supposed to mean). It does cheer me up a little. I love Connor.

Thank youuu! xx I'm a little proud of myself too, although I feel a bit sorry regarding the way I treated my boyfriend in the early days - as in, I kissed him, then told him it meant nothing, then that I just wanted to be friends and then oops kissed him again - I mean, I was so busy struggling with my own feelings that I totally forgot about his! I'm so glad he didn't just think "well go **** yourself" but instead let me play with his feelings for a bit lol. He told me the other day that he cried after I told him it was for a dare... I made him cry, my beautiful boy. But I guess that's in the past and I wouldn't ever do such a thing to him again so we're good!

Aww yes, Allor sounds nice then! (it feels weird doing this sort of thing for yourself lmao) And French is kinda a cornerstone in our relationship, we met in French class and maybe we're going to Paris this winter (his sister's living there, he's definitely gonna visit but he's gonna ask her if it's okay if I come along - I'm hoping she'll say yes!!)

Yes no I totally get what you mean! I have no ****in clue how my mum ever got my dad to agree with Alistair... it's supposed to mean "warrior", so maybe that's what convinced him. Here in Scotland it's alright, but back in Norway people would often think "ah-lee-sty-r" was definitely a girl (admittedly I was pretty girly as a kid, I drew flowers on my notebooks and had my friends (almost all girls btw) braid my hair - should've realised I was sorta gay back then lol).

It's really surprising how accepting people are actually! The only person who's been truly negative about it so far is my dad lol. At first I thought I'd face a life of hiding my relationship from the outside world but it's only been like three months and I'm already starting to forget about that! Like, I'll casually mention him in small talk with someone I barely know and only when they go "huhhh you have a boyfriend!?" I remember it's not the standard. Or, walking down the street yesterday my thoughts were like "hmm I've a nice boyfriend, let's put my arm around his waist... yeah that's nice, this is nice... why is that lady looking at me weird -- ohhh, of course, two boys close together... oh well, **** em". At first I didn't understand how my boyfriend could be so alright with acting gay in public, but now I think I'm slowly getting there as well.