Diary for the day...

I am proud of her and them. I really am. She has done amazing and so have my other friends they are all doing fantastic. But, sometimes I feel like I am not like I am stuck on my journey and everyone around me is ahead.

I understand everyone is not at the same place in life and everyone's journey is different. However, I feel like no matter how good I do it is not enough for myself. I am always so harsh on myself nobody around me is putting me down, but I do it to myself.

I am always competing against myself and lately with university UCAS coming up I more harsh on myself. I got average results for everything in GCSE's retook science in college and now studying BTEC which I get distinctions in for everything. My predicted grades for university is D*D*D*. And I am going to apply for a foundation course in Pharmacy and hopefully become a pharmacist.

The thing is I am already one year behind and in a class with younger people. I fear judgemental comments , so I make them myself. It's kinda sad I know. Everyone thinks I am this happy, smart, beautiful young lady who has this amazing life. Yet in my head I am this failure who can't do anything right. I wonder if one day I will accept myself for who I am and be proud of my journey. If I will be happy and truly happy for those around me. If I will ever feel like I am enough. I don't know if this will help me get things of my chest, but I've decided to share my feelings anyway. Thank you if you have read all of this so far. At someone knows what I truly feel.

You shouldn't feel behind all of your friends in life, like you said, everyone has different paces that they go at in life. I hope you get your D*D*D* in your BTEC and go on to do your pharmacy course. My only advice would be to get rid of any negativity in your life, because that may be what is holding you back. Also about the being in a class with younger people, by the time you get to University, age isn't a factor is judging people. You should be proud of yourself for not giving in and wanting to go into a great career.

Thank you. Thank you so much for your words they touched me so deeply. I really wanted to just hear that I am doing good and I should be proud. You have made my day and I really hope you live a life filled with success and happiness. Sending you good vibes only!