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GCSE English Lit Paragraph help please?

I don’t know how to write a “grade 9 essay”. I have mocks in November but my paragraphs most of the time don’t make sense and I don’t sound smart or anything. My current grade for English Lit is a grade 5.

We got homework to write a PEA paragraph about a poem called ‘To Autumn’. I want to improve just essay writing so bad. Can someone read my paragraph and give me an honest review or what to improve on please?

I tried to make an “essay plan” but to me my paragraph sounds like garbage that doesn’t make sense.

Here’s my paragraph (>_< )

The poem ‘To Autumn’ is presented as if it were an actual person representing the theme of change and nature. (I’ve never written an introduction before lol Also I realised that it doesn’t make sense)

In the first stanza of ‘To Autumn’,Autumn is presented as a companion and intimate friend of the sun. This is portrayed when Autumn is described to be a ‘close bosom-friend of the maturing sun’ highlighting its abundance and its intimacy with the sun. The port man two ‘bosom-friend’ conveys to the reader that the sun and Autumn work together to bring crops to ripeness.
Furthermore, this is important due to how important Harvest fest was during those times. Moreover, the sibilance creates a lyrical effect, which gently and slowly engages the reader into the ode. This also sets the scene of the sun conspiring with Autumn. Therefore Autumn is presented as if it a deep connection with the sun

After rereading this I’m losing hope in improving. Any advice/tips please?

(edited 5 years ago)

Reply 1

absolutelysprout

hiya, what was the question the answer was for?

Reply 2

Hiro2468

Original post by entertainmyfaith

hiya, what was the question the answer was for?

Oops forgot to add that in (>-< )
It was “How is Autumn presented in “To Autumn’?”
Well something along those lines.

Reply 3

absolutelysprout

Original post by Hiro2468

The poem ‘To Autumn’ is presented as if it were an actual person representing the theme of change and nature. (I’ve never written an introduction before lol Also I realised that it doesn’t make sense)

In the first stanza of ‘To Autumn’,the reader is able to see the friendship/relationship between Autumn and the Sun. This is portrayed when Autumn is described to be a ‘close bosom-friend of the maturing sun’ highlighting its abundance and its intimacy with the sun. The port man two ‘bosom-friend’ conveys to the reader that the sun and Autumn work together to bring crops to ripeness.
Furthermore, this is important due to how important Harvest fest was during those times. Moreover, the sibilance creates a lyrical effect, which gently and slowly engages the reader into the ode. This also sets the scene of the sun conspiring with Autumn. Therefore Autumn is presented as if it a deep connection with the sun

After rereading this I’m losing hope in improving. Any advice/tips please?

okay, your intro doesn't really make sense and doesn't really address the question. try to talk about autumn in the intro, even if it's brief. 'bosom-friend' is really the phrase that highlights the closeness- the informal nature of it could also suggest the closeness of the relationship.
i edited the first sentence of the stanza to give it a more smoother read and making the sentence structure less repetitive.
sun's described as maturing, could be implying something about the newness of the season autumn, which as all seasons do, they come and go.
i believe this poem is unseen, so the thing you mentioned about harvest wouldn't get you any marks. i'd leave that out.
you don't need to use moreover; starting with 'the' is fine as the previous sentence already started with furthermore.

i'm not entirely sure if there's sibilance in that sentence, so i'd double check with your teacher.

Reply 4

Supernovas

I got a 9 in English lit last year after a whole year of being stuck at a grade 7 (I didn't revise but I don't recommend not revising as English has been my strong point since I was in primary school. I also have this habit of being able to see a piece of text and remember quotes straight away.) I now study it at A Level where I got a B in year 12 and I'm on track to finish year 13 with an A*. (its a really significant step up from GCSE. Would I recommend it?, Well... if you love English Lit then yes.)

I don't know why I went off on a tangent but if you want someone to review whatever paragraphs and recommend tips and resources I'll drop you a message after i finish sixthform today.