My Girlfriend rarely initiates sex

My Girlfriend and I (two and half years) love eachother very much, I love making her happy; whilst we don't see each other as much as we used to due to financial reasons, I still crave sex as much as I did at the beginning of the relationship when we couldn't stop having sex. It hurts to think she doesn't see me as attractive as she did at the beginning of the relationship or that she simply doesn't want sex anymore. Whenever we do have sex I'm always the one to initiate it, and most of the time she tells me no. Whenever we do have sex she always tells me to hurry up. I've explained to her numerous times how this makes me feel yet she still does it. I love her very much. I really do but with her doing this constantly it's got me wondering whether she feels the same, if she's interested in someone else or won't break up with me out of guilt. I don't know what to do???

Reply 1

phillipono

10

Damn, maybe she's going through something in her personal life? Talk to her, see if she's feeling well. Idk what else to tell ya mate

Reply 2

username2393237

21

You should have a very open talk with her about this. It may be that she has a physical issue or an emotional issue which has nothing to do with you. If she has gone off you, then you have a right to know. You can't go on like that.

Reply 3

UWS

21

She could be stressed at school/work/uni/life or being on the pill could also reduce sex drive.

There could be many reasons but you should probably talk to her about it. This time, be more up front and try and get answers from her. Ask if there's anything you can do, if she's feeling upset or if she's bothered by something.

(edited 5 years ago)

Reply 4

Sivir

5

Life doesn't have to be about just sex, try other things.

You said financial reasons - do something different. She's probably bored of your 4 inch punisher

Reply 5

username3113744

15

Men don't have a cycle.

Women do.

Women can get really, really initiative at certain times of the month.

It depends on her hormones. We don't experience sexual arousal in the same way men do because we have a different sexual reproductive part.

It's a bit gross if I go into detail because it's my business so I won't. That's as far as I'll go.

Reply 6

Amy06

10

definitely have a talk with her it can be anything from sex drive or hormonal changes.
To personal problem, to contraception, to pregnancy fears, anything really.
Just have a discussion and support her and tell her you feel hurt :smile:

Reply 7

del1rious

19

Have you asked her if she actually enjoys having sex with you? Having terrible sex with someone is very cumbersome and a real pain to be honest.

Reply 8

doodle_333

19

Talk to her. And not 'stop doing X Y and Z' but ask her what her ideal sex life looks like. Most people have less sex after 2 years than at the start so if you're asking for the same amount i can see why it would start to feel like a chore for her. And once it feels that way she will go off sex overall. Ask her if there's anything she'd change eg foreplay positions speed etc to make it better for her. Ask if there's any stress etc affecting her sex drive.

Reply 9

xoxAngel_Kxox

21

There are lots of reasons she might not want sex anymore. You have to talk to her and ask her about it though, or it's never going to get any better, is it? Talking to us about it is largely useless, because we don't know what's going on in her head.

Sometimes I just can't be bothered with sex at all, and sometimes my boyfriend can't. But we both initiate it when we can - and I would say we have sex a healthy amount. It's easier for us though as we live together.

Honestly, just talk to her.

Reply 10

Plus7

17

Original post by Jacob_L_Webster

My Girlfriend and I (two and half years) love eachother very much, I love making her happy; whilst we don't see each other as much as we used to due to financial reasons, I still crave sex as much as I did at the beginning of the relationship when we couldn't stop having sex. It hurts to think she doesn't see me as attractive as she did at the beginning of the relationship or that she simply doesn't want sex anymore. Whenever we do have sex I'm always the one to initiate it, and most of the time she tells me no. Whenever we do have sex she always tells me to hurry up. I've explained to her numerous times how this makes me feel yet she still does it. I love her very much. I really do but with her doing this constantly it's got me wondering whether she feels the same, if she's interested in someone else or won't break up with me out of guilt. I don't know what to do???

Sounds like your relationship is falling apart. And you're on here instead of trying to fix it. If you don't know how, it's pretty straightforward. Tell her how you feel. Not about sex, about how you feel emotionally.

Reply 11

DrawTheLine

22

Original post by Jacob_L_Webster

My Girlfriend and I (two and half years) love eachother very much, I love making her happy; whilst we don't see each other as much as we used to due to financial reasons, I still crave sex as much as I did at the beginning of the relationship when we couldn't stop having sex. It hurts to think she doesn't see me as attractive as she did at the beginning of the relationship or that she simply doesn't want sex anymore. Whenever we do have sex I'm always the one to initiate it, and most of the time she tells me no. Whenever we do have sex she always tells me to hurry up. I've explained to her numerous times how this makes me feel yet she still does it. I love her very much. I really do but with her doing this constantly it's got me wondering whether she feels the same, if she's interested in someone else or won't break up with me out of guilt. I don't know what to do???

There could be lots of reasons why she doesn't initiate or seem to enjoy it much. You need to talk to her. That's all you have to do. Ask her why she's acting the way she is and then she can tell you. We don't know what's going on with her.

Reply 12

Ash8991

15

It's either she's going through some really bad personal stuff (depression) or she's interested in someone else, I'm sorry to say.

Also, is your username your actual name?

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

Sorry to say, but that's only going to get worse and you know it.

Reply 14

Ciel.

21

Original post by Jacob_L_Webster

My Girlfriend and I (two and half years) love eachother very much, I love making her happy; whilst we don't see each other as much as we used to due to financial reasons, I still crave sex as much as I did at the beginning of the relationship when we couldn't stop having sex. It hurts to think she doesn't see me as attractive as she did at the beginning of the relationship or that she simply doesn't want sex anymore. Whenever we do have sex I'm always the one to initiate it, and most of the time she tells me no. Whenever we do have sex she always tells me to hurry up. I've explained to her numerous times how this makes me feel yet she still does it. I love her very much. I really do but with her doing this constantly it's got me wondering whether she feels the same, if she's interested in someone else or won't break up with me out of guilt. I don't know what to do???

You need a new girlfriend... Or a lover.

Reply 15

username1039383

21

Original post by Sivir

She's probably bored of your 4 inch punisher

LOOOOOOOOOOOOl

Reply 16

Gabbithom657

2

Im not her, but i am female.Don't jump to conclusions she may not want to do it cos things are going on at the minute, but also it can be that she isn't attracted to you as much as she was and thats hard to hear from anyone. I think you need to sit down and have a real deep conversation and ask her about it and also really explain how it makes you feel. Then you will have your answer. :redface:

Reply 17

username4242832

12

Original post by Jacob_L_Webster

My Girlfriend and I (two and half years) love eachother very much, I love making her happy; whilst we don't see each other as much as we used to due to financial reasons, I still crave sex as much as I did at the beginning of the relationship when we couldn't stop having sex. It hurts to think she doesn't see me as attractive as she did at the beginning of the relationship or that she simply doesn't want sex anymore. Whenever we do have sex I'm always the one to initiate it, and most of the time she tells me no. Whenever we do have sex she always tells me to hurry up. I've explained to her numerous times how this makes me feel yet she still does it. I love her very much. I really do but with her doing this constantly it's got me wondering whether she feels the same, if she's interested in someone else or won't break up with me out of guilt. I don't know what to do???

Finish with her. She doesn't sound interested in you anymore.

Reply 18

Jacob_L_Webster

OP

3

Thanks everyone for the support minus Sivir.. we had a talk and she's still interested in me and is still attracted to me. I found out she's been going through some things with her health. We had a chat, and pulled on through just like always.
Thanks for the help everyone for the support and advice.

Reply 19

Plus7

17

Original post by Tom 2001

Finish with her. She doesn't sound interested in you anymore.

The sad and annoying thing is when you get used to each other after years you sometimes drift apart and cling on for the sake of it. She probably doesn't realise it's over and nor does he, and they probably can't accept it either.

F*cked up when it happens this way, but better than getting cheated on I suppose lol. It can be mutual. Or have a BIG heart to heart and possibly save it by arranging time together.

My Girlfriend rarely initiates sex

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