How to make friends with a flatmate who doesn't seem to be interested?

I'm living in a house with 3 girls. 2 I already knew because they're on my course and the 3rd is a friend of one of the girls.

The 3 of us (me and the 2 girls I knew) all moved in over a week ago so we've settled well together. The last girl moved in Sunday afternoon but it's been difficult to make friends with her.

She spends a lot of time in her room. And when she's in the communal areas she doesn't talk much or seem to be bothered about interacting with us.

We try asking her questions and inviting her to join us in the living room in the evenings when we're watching tv or just chatting. She joins us but spends it isolated on the side on her phone not talking to us hardly at all.

When the film ended last night she just got up and went to her room without saying anything. And I've come back from town this morning to my other flatmate saying she's gone away for the week to stay with her boyfriend. She didn't tell any of us this except for her friend and we're kind of annoyed. She's been here 2 nights and hasn't made an effort to get to know us when we have with her.

I know she's probably a bit shy because she doesn't know us but the way to get to know us is to spend time with us and be social, instead of leaving for a week.

I don't want it to be like this all year. How can I make friends with her when she responds with one word answers to questions and doesn't join us in communal areas?

Leave her alone lmao. You have enough people to talk to.

So I'm supposed to just not talk to someone I'm sharing a house with?

Nothings forcing you to. I don't know why you think its a big deal. Believe it or not, some people just want to do stuff on their own.

So I'm supposed to just not talk to someone I'm sharing a house with?

Because she says she wants to join us in the living room to chat but then she makes no effort to involve herself. I understand wanting to do her own thing but why say she wants to spend time with us but then not actually socialise?

well no, but maybe you could just keep it short. like Hi-Hey/how are you kinda thing. she obviously doesn't seem to be a social person but she'll come around. Hopefully.

based on your post, probably because she feels pressured by you/others to join in on the social activies that she doesn't really want to do

It's not pressuring to say "we're watching a film come join if you want". We don't continually ask her to. It's an open invitation, we tell her once that we're in the living room and she can join if she wants and then leave it at that. So she chooses to join us but then not involve herself with us which I find strange.

idk, that's just how I read the situation

So how would you deal with it based on knowing we aren't pressuring her?

So how would you deal with it based on knowing we aren't pressuring her?

So how would you deal with it based on knowing we aren't pressuring her?

Maybe you aren't pressuring her, but she probably has her own pressure in her head of what she is expected to do.
I think my original point is still just to let her be, it's not like she's disturbing you, even if it's a bit awkward. Eventually she'll probably come out of her shell a bit more. Some people aren't just friendly with people they immediately meet.

So how would you deal with it based on knowing we aren't pressuring her?

It's not pressuring to say "we're watching a film come join if you want". We don't continually ask her to. It's an open invitation, we tell her once that we're in the living room and she can join if she wants and then leave it at that. So she chooses to join us but then not involve herself with us which I find strange.

Perhaps she has personal issues and doesn't want to bond with other people, probably not made any better by the fact you seem so hard on her for not participating...

I had quite a few flatmates but didn't bother with any of them, though they were quite decent, because I was severely depressed. Hearing them gossip about me when they thought I was out really didn't help in the slightest. Just because someone seems shy and quiet does not mean they have no interest in you, they may just be more interested in themselves due to issues.

It's early days - the four of you know each other and she's the 'odd one out' at the moment. She's probably missing her boyfriend and needs space to know you all a bit more. Give her time - don't ask questions but keep inviting her to join you in doing things