Uni flatmates keep leaving me out.

So I recently moved to university and I live with 9 other people in our flat and they are all quite close and they keep leaving me out of things. I haven’t been anti social at all and I’ve really tried to get to know them and be involved.

I have made other friends that I can hang out with during the day but at night it’s really lonely and I feel left out as they like to go to each other’s rooms and I can hear them in the room next to me but they never invite me and I feel awkward just knocking and inviting myself.

I’ve really tried to be sociable but whenever I walk into the room they’re in they go really quiet and distant and I don’t know what I’ve done wrong.

Any advice because it’s making me feel really lonely and isolated in the flat and I’ve got nearly a whole year of living with them.

Best advice is to find one of them you like most and think it’d be easiet to get on with then use them to get in with the others

Wow, you're one of those people huh?

It’s gotten me far in life

Not as far as the people who have others walk up to them and through a normal conversation, become friends, and stay friends, and vice-versa.

It’s led me to that in many cases, if I see a group I like I target one person I think I’d like most and become friends with them then slowly join the group. If it doesn’t work out, then the group probably wasn’t for me… I’m not saying to use and dump them, I should’ve been clear and said make friends with them genuinely because that’s what I meant.

Or, you can view them as individuals who are sold separately. You should form the circle, no become a part of it.

Time is too limited at uni for that stuff! This isn’t school. And of course they’re going to have their friendship circle of people they genuinely like where the effort is worth it. Most people wouldn’t list their flatmates as genuine friends, they’re just friends by proximity.

So I recently moved to university and I live with 9 other people in our flat and they are all quite close and they keep leaving me out of things. I haven’t been anti social at all and I’ve really tried to get to know them and be involved.

I have made other friends that I can hang out with during the day but at night it’s really lonely and I feel left out as they like to go to each other’s rooms and I can hear them in the room next to me but they never invite me and I feel awkward just knocking and inviting myself.

I’ve really tried to be sociable but whenever I walk into the room they’re in they go really quiet and distant and I don’t know what I’ve done wrong.

Any advice because it’s making me feel really lonely and isolated in the flat and I’ve got nearly a whole year of living with them.

Or, you can view them as individuals who are sold separately. You should form the circle, no become a part of it.

What's your issue. It's quite common to meet other people through friends, so by making friends with one of them - everyone will feel more comfortable with including you.

And honestly, leave 3121 to it, there's nothing bad about making friends with someone who you want to make friends with.

So I recently moved to university and I live with 9 other people in our flat and they are all quite close and they keep leaving me out of things. I haven’t been anti social at all and I’ve really tried to get to know them and be involved.

I have made other friends that I can hang out with during the day but at night it’s really lonely and I feel left out as they like to go to each other’s rooms and I can hear them in the room next to me but they never invite me and I feel awkward just knocking and inviting myself.

I’ve really tried to be sociable but whenever I walk into the room they’re in they go really quiet and distant and I don’t know what I’ve done wrong.

Any advice because it’s making me feel really lonely and isolated in the flat and I’ve got nearly a whole year of living with them.

It’s gotten me far in life