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I was forced to apply for Med School. Starting uni late now. Depressed

I spent much of my secondary school years, and all my teenage years stressing about getting into med school because my Asian parents made it feel like thats the only option I have - so since I wasnt getting a course choice I wanted to work very hard for a uni that was prestigious where I could mix in with non-medics.

I got a deferred med school offer, took it under pressure, realised i cant take it anymore and declined after an year. Suffered serious depression throughout school. Now Ill be starting uni next year at the age of 21 and I feel ive lost my teenage years, and I feel so behind and at loss. Really depressed.
Reply 1
Avatar for Doones
Doones
21
Original post by Anonymous
I spent much of my secondary school years, and all my teenage years stressing about getting into med school because my Asian parents made it feel like thats the only option I have - so since I wasnt getting a course choice I wanted to work very hard for a uni that was prestigious where I could mix in with non-medics.

I got a deferred med school offer, took it under pressure, realised i cant take it anymore and declined after an year. Suffered serious depression throughout school. Now Ill be starting uni next year at the age of 21 and I feel ive lost my teenage years, and I feel so behind and at loss. Really depressed.


Sorry to hear of your troubles. Are you still planning on doing Medicine?
Original post by Anonymous
I spent much of my secondary school years, and all my teenage years stressing about getting into med school because my Asian parents made it feel like thats the only option I have - so since I wasnt getting a course choice I wanted to work very hard for a uni that was prestigious where I could mix in with non-medics.

I got a deferred med school offer, took it under pressure, realised i cant take it anymore and declined after an year. Suffered serious depression throughout school. Now Ill be starting uni next year at the age of 21 and I feel ive lost my teenage years, and I feel so behind and at loss. Really depressed.

I can relate to this extremely. But it wasn't until it was too late when my parents realised I couldn't handle the pressure. After I was diagnosed with depression and severe anxiety nothing was easy and I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through something similar. Don't feel like your parents are doing this because they want you to miss out and/or ruin your life (even though it seems like it). They only want what's best for you. There's so much more in life than your teenage years believe me. You can get through it.
Original post by Anonymous
I spent much of my secondary school years, and all my teenage years stressing about getting into med school because my Asian parents made it feel like thats the only option I have - so since I wasnt getting a course choice I wanted to work very hard for a uni that was prestigious where I could mix in with non-medics.

I got a deferred med school offer, took it under pressure, realised i cant take it anymore and declined after an year. Suffered serious depression throughout school. Now Ill be starting uni next year at the age of 21 and I feel ive lost my teenage years, and I feel so behind and at loss. Really depressed.


Have you talked to anyone about the way you are feeling?

What is your plan now? What will you be doing at university? Try not to dwell on the past - start planning for your future to make the best life possible.
Reply 4
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Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by Doonesbury
Sorry to hear of your troubles. Are you still planning on doing Medicine?

No, I had enough. Felt like a huge burden I was carrying on my shoulders for a decade was lifted when I said no no and no. Even the thought or suggestion drives me absolutely crazy since I associate all my teenage isolation, depression and problems at school with it.
Reply 5
Avatar for Doones
Doones
21
Original post by Anonymous
No, I had enough. Felt like a huge burden I was carrying on my shoulders for a decade was lifted when I said no no and no. Even the thought or suggestion drives me absolutely crazy since I associate all my teenage isolation, depression and problems at school with it.


Ok, so you won't be "so behind". There will be other 21+ students on the course.

HOWEVER, if you are still struggling MH-wise perhaps now is not the time to be taking all this on. Are you seeing anyone about your current situation?
Not so relevant but Which uni were you in?
You’re still young. I hope things work out better for you :smile: Don’t dwell on the negatives.
Try to think about the positives of this situation, though perhaps you may not be able to see them right now.

You stood up for yourself and had the strength of character to say no I am not doing your choice but mine in my life.

Medicine is not just a job but also a way of life.

It almost has to be your hobby and job since you must give up so much to succeed in it.

Yes it is interesting and high status but also one of the most demanding jobs anyone could do and often thankless.

So you must really want to do it.

Your battle was with your parents wish for you to do this v your realisation that you did not want to.

You have to decide what makes you happy and go for it.

You cannot live just to make someone else happy and not yourself as then you are not being true to yourself.

This is the way to much unhappiness.

So far much of your life has been your youth so this is why you feel you have lost so much.


However from a older persons perspective this is only a small part of life and a lot more is to come.

You have learnt a very important point in life early, which will stand you in good stead for what is to come.

You must take care of your own happiness and not entrust this job to anyone else.

Please understand that your parents thought that they were helping you by encourging your medicine dream.
This job is universally held in high status all over the world and so is a dream job in many eyes.

However there are many other career options that they are probably not even aware of.

Good luck in whatever you choose to do.
Original post by Anonymous
I spent much of my secondary school years, and all my teenage years stressing about getting into med school because my Asian parents made it feel like thats the only option I have - so since I wasnt getting a course choice I wanted to work very hard for a uni that was prestigious where I could mix in with non-medics.

I got a deferred med school offer, took it under pressure, realised i cant take it anymore and declined after an year. Suffered serious depression throughout school. Now Ill be starting uni next year at the age of 21 and I feel ive lost my teenage years, and I feel so behind and at loss. Really depressed.


So sorry to hear about the pressure you were put under to study something you did not want to. Well done for stopping and saying 'No' - it was brave to stick up for yourself - better now than is three or four years time. You will still be able to apply for funding as everyone is allowed one 'gift year'.

21 is not that old and you can follow YOUR dream :smile: Good luck.
What would you like to study there are lots of foundation degrees that enable you to change track and will only add one year more and the student loans allow for one years 'mistake' on choice of course.
(edited 5 years ago)
This happened to me as well and now I'm a med student doing a pointless degree imo. What can I do tho. I can't defy my parents, might as well not exist. Supid interviewers gave me an offer too, tools.
that sucks man. youre still young and have plenty more to live for! follow your dreams bro
How did you finally pull the trigger and drop out? What made you climax and do it?
Original post by TheProphetsPath
How did you finally pull the trigger and drop out? What made you climax and do it?

Physically could not take it anymore - depression was taking over my life and somehow I just about managed to pick myself up and say no
Original post by Anonymous
I can relate to this extremely. But it wasn't until it was too late when my parents realised I couldn't handle the pressure. After I was diagnosed with depression and severe anxiety nothing was easy and I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through something similar. Don't feel like your parents are doing this because they want you to miss out and/or ruin your life (even though it seems like it). They only want what's best for you. There's so much more in life than your teenage years believe me. You can get through it.


Sorry but I can't see how a parent would love their child and make their life hell. It seems like they want to use their child as a reflection of themselves so they can boast to their friends or something. I would hate to be in OP's situation.

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