Loneliness and Not Having a Relationship Finally Taking a Toll on Me

Let me start of this post by saying one thing: I am looking for actual advice and analysis of my situation, not motivation or other garbage that's suppose to make me feel better about myself. I don't care about that stuff whatsoever, so it would be appreciated if you would leave something actually useful below.

So I always took pride in my ability to suppress emotions and not having to deal with motivation, as motivation simply never existed for me in the first place, so I don't have to worry about it. However there's one thing that finally made me crack, and actually feel an uncontrollable sadness, and that is the fact that I've never been in a relationship.

In my life, despite being 17, I've never been in a relationship, nor have I even kissed a girl, held hands with a girl, or even hugged a girl. Even when I told my group of 13-14 year old friends that they were shocked, as even all of them been in a relationship, or even several before. Whenever I sit with some friends and they talk about relationships, I'm simply mind-blown seeing how far they've gotten in relationships while I've never even been in a single one. I usually just sit back and say nothing in those instances. I'd only get involved when someone says something like "don't worry, we'll get you a girlfriend one day", to which I usually just reply with some self-deprecating joke at my own expense. It's simply unheard of, at least in young society in England, not to have been in a relationship by 17.

Whenever I hear people complaining about things like only being in a relationship for a week or something is when I get the most confused. I would do anything just for a week-long relationship. Am I just that far behind?

But it get's worse. I've been recently having dreams about the topic almost every other night. Dreams of me finally getting a girlfriend, or watching the stars with someone. Then I wake up and remember that they are not dreams; they are nightmares, teasing, twisted illusions of things that won't happen.

The thing that's really done it for me recently though is when I was sitting with a group of friends, discussing relationships, crushes, etc. One of my friends, despite her being one of the most friendliest, caring people I know, told me it's really easy to get a relationship, and told me about how she got a friend of hers a boyfriend just by talking to him, and so that she also doesn't sympathies with me despite her kind nature because of that. Ever since that conversation, I can't stop thinking about this, and I have this heavy feeling on my heart like the one you get when you hear about someone you know dying.

So seeing how I don't even know how you are suppose to get into a relationship despite being 17, I'm still far off from fixing this problem, so advice is really needed and welcome. I know barely anything about romantic interaction or even a lot about social interaction in general. Only a few years ago I found out that people can also hug for non-romantic reasons, and I got that when saw the option for a "friendly hug" on The Sims 3 (yes, that's how bad my situation is). And once again, I am looking for ACTUAL advice. Not motivation, not comforting speech, not "it's ok, lot's of people don't have relationships". I don't care about that stuff, and it doesn't help whatsoever.

It will be difficult not to comfort you are you are clearly sad.

If you were my child I would be asking why a 17 year old is hanging around with a group of 13 - 14 year olds. Talking to them is just asking for a load of hormones to justify life.

Today it seems harder and harder to form relationships the traditional way. My son who is a gregarious chap met several girls on tinder and lovely girls they were.

Why not try that. Or do you have to be 18.

Sitting back and sounding desperate is a real turn off. Also you sound incredibly eloquent - are you slightly autistic. That can be a stumbling block.

You need to put yourself out there. Are you going to university. College? Do a sport. Borrow a dog. Get a job. Take a gap year and travel. Nobody wants to be lonely. Believe it or not, I think there are more lonely people out there than ever before. I blame social media.

Look at your life and grab it by the balls . (Sorry but I want to give you a kick/hug)

And your response is why you are in the position you are in.

Let me start of this post by saying one thing: I am looking for actual advice and analysis of my situation, not motivation or other garbage that's suppose to make me feel better about myself. I don't care about that stuff whatsoever, so it would be appreciated if you would leave something actually useful below.

So I always took pride in my ability to suppress emotions and not having to deal with motivation, as motivation simply never existed for me in the first place, so I don't have to worry about it. However there's one thing that finally made me crack, and actually feel an uncontrollable sadness, and that is the fact that I've never been in a relationship.

In my life, despite being 17, I've never been in a relationship, nor have I even kissed a girl, held hands with a girl, or even hugged a girl. Even when I told my group of 13-14 year old friends that they were shocked, as even all of them been in a relationship, or even several before. Whenever I sit with some friends and they talk about relationships, I'm simply mind-blown seeing how far they've gotten in relationships while I've never even been in a single one. I usually just sit back and say nothing in those instances. I'd only get involved when someone says something like "don't worry, we'll get you a girlfriend one day", to which I usually just reply with some self-deprecating joke at my own expense. It's simply unheard of, at least in young society in England, not to have been in a relationship by 17.

Whenever I hear people complaining about things like only being in a relationship for a week or something is when I get the most confused. I would do anything just for a week-long relationship. Am I just that far behind?

But it get's worse. I've been recently having dreams about the topic almost every other night. Dreams of me finally getting a girlfriend, or watching the stars with someone. Then I wake up and remember that they are not dreams; they are nightmares, teasing, twisted illusions of things that won't happen.

The thing that's really done it for me recently though is when I was sitting with a group of friends, discussing relationships, crushes, etc. One of my friends, despite her being one of the most friendliest, caring people I know, told me it's really easy to get a relationship, and told me about how she got a friend of hers a boyfriend just by talking to him, and so that she also doesn't sympathies with me despite her kind nature because of that. Ever since that conversation, I can't stop thinking about this, and I have this heavy feeling on my heart like the one you get when you hear about someone you know dying.

So seeing how I don't even know how you are suppose to get into a relationship despite being 17, I'm still far off from fixing this problem, so advice is really needed and welcome. I know barely anything about romantic interaction or even a lot about social interaction in general. Only a few years ago I found out that people can also hug for non-romantic reasons, and I got that when saw the option for a "friendly hug" on The Sims 3 (yes, that's how bad my situation is). And once again, I am looking for ACTUAL advice. Not motivation, not comforting speech, not "it's ok, lot's of people don't have relationships". I don't care about that stuff, and it doesn't help whatsoever.

Let me start of this post by saying one thing: I am looking for actual advice and analysis of my situation, not motivation or other garbage that's suppose to make me feel better about myself. I don't care about that stuff whatsoever, so it would be appreciated if you would leave something actually useful below.

So I always took pride in my ability to suppress emotions and not having to deal with motivation, as motivation simply never existed for me in the first place, so I don't have to worry about it. However there's one thing that finally made me crack, and actually feel an uncontrollable sadness, and that is the fact that I've never been in a relationship.

In my life, despite being 17, I've never been in a relationship, nor have I even kissed a girl, held hands with a girl, or even hugged a girl. Even when I told my group of 13-14 year old friends that they were shocked, as even all of them been in a relationship, or even several before. Whenever I sit with some friends and they talk about relationships, I'm simply mind-blown seeing how far they've gotten in relationships while I've never even been in a single one. I usually just sit back and say nothing in those instances. I'd only get involved when someone says something like "don't worry, we'll get you a girlfriend one day", to which I usually just reply with some self-deprecating joke at my own expense. It's simply unheard of, at least in young society in England, not to have been in a relationship by 17.

Whenever I hear people complaining about things like only being in a relationship for a week or something is when I get the most confused. I would do anything just for a week-long relationship. Am I just that far behind?

But it get's worse. I've been recently having dreams about the topic almost every other night. Dreams of me finally getting a girlfriend, or watching the stars with someone. Then I wake up and remember that they are not dreams; they are nightmares, teasing, twisted illusions of things that won't happen.

The thing that's really done it for me recently though is when I was sitting with a group of friends, discussing relationships, crushes, etc. One of my friends, despite her being one of the most friendliest, caring people I know, told me it's really easy to get a relationship, and told me about how she got a friend of hers a boyfriend just by talking to him, and so that she also doesn't sympathies with me despite her kind nature because of that. Ever since that conversation, I can't stop thinking about this, and I have this heavy feeling on my heart like the one you get when you hear about someone you know dying.

So seeing how I don't even know how you are suppose to get into a relationship despite being 17, I'm still far off from fixing this problem, so advice is really needed and welcome. I know barely anything about romantic interaction or even a lot about social interaction in general. Only a few years ago I found out that people can also hug for non-romantic reasons, and I got that when saw the option for a "friendly hug" on The Sims 3 (yes, that's how bad my situation is). And once again, I am looking for ACTUAL advice. Not motivation, not comforting speech, not "it's ok, lot's of people don't have relationships". I don't care about that stuff, and it doesn't help whatsoever.

AAre u gay???? I will book up with u

Are you autistic? Your complete lack of social skills isn't normal, no offense.

As a thought, whenever I read posts like this I always do suggest things to help you work on your self confidence and self esteem. It seems like these two are some fundamental reasons as to why you're finding it so lonely without a relationship. This I find if not dealt with properly could mean even if you get into one, you risk stemming all your happiness into it, which isny healthy.