Was my Girlfriend Raped or Straight Up Cheat.
Ok I would never usually question a potentially victim but this is a strange one.
Short Version of the Story
My Girlfriend was on a girly night out, they all got drunk, met a group of lads
Later when in Dominos the taxi arrived , she told her friend to go without her by phone citing her pizza not being ready as her reason, he was with her in dominos at the time, he said he give her a lift back in the morning, she went back to his willingly.
At his they shared a bed, she rolled over to sleep, he started touching her inappropriately, she claims she said no several times, he pulled pin top of him put his **** in her and started thrusting, she was lent over him face down in a pillow. He stopped before finishing and rolled her onto the bed, he then said something but can’t remember what, she apologised but can’t remember why.
He gave her a lift home in the morning, word had already got around our mutual friendship group where she had been.
She told a girly mate she slept on his sofa and nothing happened, told my our mutual friend Jack it had happened but wasn’t sure of if she consented, Jack had to work really hard to convince her to tell me, a hour and a it later she told me she was raped and she deffo said no.
This is only her story she told me, she went to police 6 days later after I finally convinced her and she told them that same story. The police have questioned this guy under caution he has denied the accusation but we don’t know which bits he’s denied.
They are currently looking through other evidence and have yet to reach a decision on whether or not they will formally charge him.
Our mutual friends are pretty much 50/50 split on that whole thing, I’m caught in the middle of a mind**** mine field.
She claims to have several gaps in her memory around the incident which dosnt help, but has insisted that she did nothing with him on the nights out that was in anyway suggestive too him (not that things like that matter in rape cases)
So help! Give me an outside opinion that’s not biased by friendship!
Short Version of the Story
My Girlfriend was on a girly night out, they all got drunk, met a group of lads
Later when in Dominos the taxi arrived , she told her friend to go without her by phone citing her pizza not being ready as her reason, he was with her in dominos at the time, he said he give her a lift back in the morning, she went back to his willingly.
At his they shared a bed, she rolled over to sleep, he started touching her inappropriately, she claims she said no several times, he pulled pin top of him put his **** in her and started thrusting, she was lent over him face down in a pillow. He stopped before finishing and rolled her onto the bed, he then said something but can’t remember what, she apologised but can’t remember why.
He gave her a lift home in the morning, word had already got around our mutual friendship group where she had been.
She told a girly mate she slept on his sofa and nothing happened, told my our mutual friend Jack it had happened but wasn’t sure of if she consented, Jack had to work really hard to convince her to tell me, a hour and a it later she told me she was raped and she deffo said no.
This is only her story she told me, she went to police 6 days later after I finally convinced her and she told them that same story. The police have questioned this guy under caution he has denied the accusation but we don’t know which bits he’s denied.
They are currently looking through other evidence and have yet to reach a decision on whether or not they will formally charge him.
Our mutual friends are pretty much 50/50 split on that whole thing, I’m caught in the middle of a mind**** mine field.
She claims to have several gaps in her memory around the incident which dosnt help, but has insisted that she did nothing with him on the nights out that was in anyway suggestive too him (not that things like that matter in rape cases)
So help! Give me an outside opinion that’s not biased by friendship!
(edited 5 years ago)
Scroll to see replies
LOL raped or not she was in another man's bed
I am not gonna denounce whether she was raped or not, BUT, if I had to take a guess... is ********.
Although now that I am reading the police part, may acrually be true. Support her but do end up leaving her, she is still a terrible gf
I am not gonna denounce whether she was raped or not, BUT, if I had to take a guess... is ********.
Although now that I am reading the police part, may acrually be true. Support her but do end up leaving her, she is still a terrible gf
(edited 5 years ago)
Original post by ZombieTheWolf
LOL raped or not she was in another man's bed she's a dirty whore
I am not gonna denounce whether she was raped or not, BUT, if I had to take a guess... is ********.
Although now that I am reading the police part, may acrually be true. Support her but do end up leaving her, she is still a terrible gf
I am not gonna denounce whether she was raped or not, BUT, if I had to take a guess... is ********.
Although now that I am reading the police part, may acrually be true. Support her but do end up leaving her, she is still a terrible gf
true
Original post by ZombieTheWolf
LOL raped or not she was in another man's bed she's a dirty whore
I am not gonna denounce whether she was raped or not, BUT, if I had to take a guess... is ********.
Although now that I am reading the police part, may acrually be true. Support her but do end up leaving her, she is still a terrible gf
I am not gonna denounce whether she was raped or not, BUT, if I had to take a guess... is ********.
Although now that I am reading the police part, may acrually be true. Support her but do end up leaving her, she is still a terrible gf
Original post by I AM GROOT 1
true
Hella true
This girl is playing you for an idiot, break up with her.
1, the most damming part is the fact that (if your right) she told 3 people 3 things. Especially that she went from 'not sure if I consented' to 'I said no multiple times' - inbetween talking to a friend and a boyfriend.
2, who cares. If my wife got into the bed of another man after a night out without me, she would be kicked out of my house as quickly as possible. People in committed relationships can't do that sort of ****. Especially after drinking.. it leads to situations like these. Did she cosnent to sex? who knows.. but she certainly cosnented to go home with a guy, and get into his bed. The only exceptions I can see to this is like a childhood friend thats more like a brother, or a gay friend...
3, committed relationships take work, and need rules. Trust is earned not assumed, and she has shown clearly that she does not deserve trust.
I know these are not popular opinions but generally speaking if you love your partner, and you want your relationship to last 40-50 years.. follow these rules:
1, no heavy drinking when you are not together. The odd glass of wine or pint is ok, but if your going propperly drinking or clubbing, make sure you two are together
2, no going out on girly/lads nights out with a group thats majority single. Fine if your all in relationships, but if your the one in relationships with 4-5 single girls/lads, its a very bad idea
3, no lads/girls holidays unless you both are going.. or its something that doesn't involve heavy drinking/clubbing
4, the guy is the main link to the majority of your guy friends, and the girl is the main link to the majority of your girlfriends
5, your social circles should become one, as soon as possible, and you should have joint friends where possible, not individual friends
6, No staying over or extended time with single guys for the girl, and the same with single girls for the guy.
---
follow those rules, and enjoy a happy long-lasting relationship where you can both show your dicipline and commitment and in return earn each others full trust.
2, who cares. If my wife got into the bed of another man after a night out without me, she would be kicked out of my house as quickly as possible. People in committed relationships can't do that sort of ****. Especially after drinking.. it leads to situations like these. Did she cosnent to sex? who knows.. but she certainly cosnented to go home with a guy, and get into his bed. The only exceptions I can see to this is like a childhood friend thats more like a brother, or a gay friend...
3, committed relationships take work, and need rules. Trust is earned not assumed, and she has shown clearly that she does not deserve trust.
I know these are not popular opinions but generally speaking if you love your partner, and you want your relationship to last 40-50 years.. follow these rules:
1, no heavy drinking when you are not together. The odd glass of wine or pint is ok, but if your going propperly drinking or clubbing, make sure you two are together
2, no going out on girly/lads nights out with a group thats majority single. Fine if your all in relationships, but if your the one in relationships with 4-5 single girls/lads, its a very bad idea
3, no lads/girls holidays unless you both are going.. or its something that doesn't involve heavy drinking/clubbing
4, the guy is the main link to the majority of your guy friends, and the girl is the main link to the majority of your girlfriends
5, your social circles should become one, as soon as possible, and you should have joint friends where possible, not individual friends
6, No staying over or extended time with single guys for the girl, and the same with single girls for the guy.
---
follow those rules, and enjoy a happy long-lasting relationship where you can both show your dicipline and commitment and in return earn each others full trust.
She went willingly to his house and shared a bed with him... It's the shared a bed part that's strange, especially when considering she has a boyfriend. Then she proceeded to say she slept on the sofa, only to change her story to different friends. Of course, none of us can clarify whether she was truly raped or not - but from the account you have given, she certainly has been an irresponsible girlfriend by conventional standards.
There's only very limited circumstances where it's acceptable to share a bed with the opposite sex when seeing someone. Seeing she met the guy on the night it highly suspect and why could she not go home? Or why could she not go with her mates? Surely if she was waiting for her pizza her mates would of waited?
In all honesty it sounds highly suspect and sadly this kind of event happens far too often. If you trust her and believe her.... and only you can make that decision you need to stick by her. If you don't believe her you need to sit down and talk to her and put the cards on the table. She could also end up ruining the other guys life as accusations like this stick regardless.
Finally there will be fallout, you will have people who view you as a 'cuck' if you stay with her (I hate that word now due to online scum using it but it's the proper word for it) or as a mysoginist if you don't believe her (accuse you of victim blaming etc, not standing by her etc).
Good luck though, a pretty rubbish situation to be in!
In all honesty it sounds highly suspect and sadly this kind of event happens far too often. If you trust her and believe her.... and only you can make that decision you need to stick by her. If you don't believe her you need to sit down and talk to her and put the cards on the table. She could also end up ruining the other guys life as accusations like this stick regardless.
Finally there will be fallout, you will have people who view you as a 'cuck' if you stay with her (I hate that word now due to online scum using it but it's the proper word for it) or as a mysoginist if you don't believe her (accuse you of victim blaming etc, not standing by her etc).
Good luck though, a pretty rubbish situation to be in!
The fact she willingly went back with him makes her a cheat. Sleeping in another guys bed isn't ok even without sex.
Whether or not she was raped you'll never know and neither do we since they were the only ones there.
Whether or not she was raped you'll never know and neither do we since they were the only ones there.
Original post by I AM GROOT 1
true
What if she actually was raped? What if she went back with him because she was scared. It was late and they were mates and she trusted him. She was fu***** drunk? I know what it's like? To be raped ando no one believe you, blame you. My own mother said it was my fault. I'm guessing you're all male and think it's okay, ive never been so hurt in my life. It's was my own boyfriend who done it. I was 15. Does that make it okay? Does that make me a ****? It's a joke. I'm actually really upset now.... rape is never okay, no matter the circumstances
I’m unsure I would trust somebody who didn’t stick to the same story. Something is fishy here.
Original post by Anonymous
What if she actually was raped? What if she went back with him because she was scared. It was late and they were mates and she trusted him. She was fu***** drunk? I know what it's like? To be raped ando no one believe you, blame you. My own mother said it was my fault. I'm guessing you're all male and think it's okay, ive never been so hurt in my life. It's was my own boyfriend who done it. I was 15. Does that make it okay? Does that make me a ****? It's a joke. I'm actually really upset now.... rape is never okay, no matter the circumstances
You idiot, we're not talking about you, so calm the **** down. If you actually read the OP, the girl told 3 different stories to 3 different people. Also what are you on about she was scared? Scared of who? Why didn't she mention it at all? If she was scared of him then why go with him and not her mates? OH! So you know what it's like? Good job, yet, your post is nothing but a bunch of assumptions alongside you ranting about your own experience which is not what the thread is about. No one said rape is okay, more ******* nice! Btw, why would someone with a boyfriend decide to sleep in the same bed as her male friend?
Original post by Andrew97
I’m unsure I would trust somebody who didn’t stick to the same story. Something is fishy here.
And not just her minge. The story also has a fishy odour.
Original post by Anonymous
What if she actually was raped? What if she went back with him because she was scared. It was late and they were mates and she trusted him. She was fu***** drunk? I know what it's like? To be raped ando no one believe you, blame you. My own mother said it was my fault. I'm guessing you're all male and think it's okay, ive never been so hurt in my life. It's was my own boyfriend who done it. I was 15. Does that make it okay? Does that make me a ****? It's a joke. I'm actually really upset now.... rape is never okay, no matter the circumstances
As another female I do understand where your anger is coming from given the extent of ridiculous victim blamimg in rape cases such as yours and the many other metoo stories that are coming to light. However I do think your anger is misplaced in this thread. I too clicked on the title ready to fight some disgruntled boyfriend whos trying to call his girlfriend a cheat for a non consensual assult, having read the OPs initial post I feel as though that couldnt be further from the truth, he supported his gf in going to the police and did believe her until (rightfully imo) he began to have doubts given how much she changed her story and the peculiarity of going home with and sharing a bed with a boy she had just met whilst being in a committed relationship. Whilst I wouldn't wish it on anyone, I do hope for everyones sake she is telling the truth as she has reported it to the police but the shaky details do leave room for doubt if you ask me...
(edited 4 years ago)
Original post by Anonymous
What if she actually was raped? What if she went back with him because she was scared. It was late and they were mates and she trusted him. She was fu***** drunk? I know what it's like? To be raped ando no one believe you, blame you. My own mother said it was my fault. I'm guessing you're all male and think it's okay, ive never been so hurt in my life. It's was my own boyfriend who done it. I was 15. Does that make it okay? Does that make me a ****? It's a joke. I'm actually really upset now.... rape is never okay, no matter the circumstances
your the reason why the victim is not the judge..
Aso you have just shown, victims are not often emotionally stable and rational enough to make correct and logical decisions based on other peoples circumstances.
Straight away, all you did is came onto a thread about someone elses problem - and made it about you.. then claimed your upset.. then said a useless thing that we all agree with 'rape is never ok' - which is not even what was being discussed here.
Original post by Zupercake
Ok I would never usually question a potentially victim but this is a strange one.
Short Version of the Story
My Girlfriend was on a girly night out, they all got drunk, met a group of lads
Later when in Dominos the taxi arrived , she told her friend to go without her by phone citing her pizza not being ready as her reason, he was with her in dominos at the time, he said he give her a lift back in the morning, she went back to his willingly.
At his they shared a bed, she rolled over to sleep, he started touching her inappropriately, she claims she said no several times, he pulled pin top of him put his **** in her and started thrusting, she was lent over him face down in a pillow. He stopped before finishing and rolled her onto the bed, he then said something but can’t remember what, she apologised but can’t remember why.
He gave her a lift home in the morning, word had already got around our mutual friendship group where she had been.
She told a girly mate she slept on his sofa and nothing happened, told my our mutual friend Jack it had happened but wasn’t sure of if she consented, Jack had to work really hard to convince her to tell me, a hour and a it later she told me she was raped and she deffo said no.
This is only her story she told me, she went to police 6 days later after I finally convinced her and she told them that same story. The police have questioned this guy under caution he has denied the accusation but we don’t know which bits he’s denied.
They are currently looking through other evidence and have yet to reach a decision on whether or not they will formally charge him.
Our mutual friends are pretty much 50/50 split on that whole thing, I’m caught in the middle of a mind**** mine field.
She claims to have several gaps in her memory around the incident which dosnt help, but has insisted that she did nothing with him on the nights out that was in anyway suggestive too him (not that things like that matter in rape cases)
So help! Give me an outside opinion that’s not biased by friendship!
Short Version of the Story
My Girlfriend was on a girly night out, they all got drunk, met a group of lads
Later when in Dominos the taxi arrived , she told her friend to go without her by phone citing her pizza not being ready as her reason, he was with her in dominos at the time, he said he give her a lift back in the morning, she went back to his willingly.
At his they shared a bed, she rolled over to sleep, he started touching her inappropriately, she claims she said no several times, he pulled pin top of him put his **** in her and started thrusting, she was lent over him face down in a pillow. He stopped before finishing and rolled her onto the bed, he then said something but can’t remember what, she apologised but can’t remember why.
He gave her a lift home in the morning, word had already got around our mutual friendship group where she had been.
She told a girly mate she slept on his sofa and nothing happened, told my our mutual friend Jack it had happened but wasn’t sure of if she consented, Jack had to work really hard to convince her to tell me, a hour and a it later she told me she was raped and she deffo said no.
This is only her story she told me, she went to police 6 days later after I finally convinced her and she told them that same story. The police have questioned this guy under caution he has denied the accusation but we don’t know which bits he’s denied.
They are currently looking through other evidence and have yet to reach a decision on whether or not they will formally charge him.
Our mutual friends are pretty much 50/50 split on that whole thing, I’m caught in the middle of a mind**** mine field.
She claims to have several gaps in her memory around the incident which dosnt help, but has insisted that she did nothing with him on the nights out that was in anyway suggestive too him (not that things like that matter in rape cases)
So help! Give me an outside opinion that’s not biased by friendship!
She did it with consent. Then she realised oh sh1t I'm already in a relationship. So she pulled a rape story. And now in an attempt to prove her innocence further she's got the law involved against the other guy.
Original post by Anonymous
She did it with consent. Then she realised oh sh1t I'm already in a relationship. So she pulled a rape story. And now in an attempt to prove her innocence further she's got the law involved against the other guy.
How do you know?
The very fact that she's telling everyone different stories speaks volumes.
(edited 5 years ago)
Original post by Waldorf67
How do you know?
Some people do that
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