Should I forgive her?

My girlfriend went clubbing with her friends from uni. At the start of our relationship I told her that i believed grinding with other guys was cheating and although she didn't see grinding as cheating, she promised that she would not do it. We've been dating for over a year now.While out clubbing, she danced (grinded) with several of her guy friends, one of the guys kissed her. She pulled away. But then later on in the night she grinded with him again. Then he kissed her again. She moved away again (or so she says). Then she took his jacket and he walked her home. (apparently nothing else happened). I love her so much but is this forgivable?

Reply 1

kg00105

11

Warning flags. Talk to her.

Reply 2

jac_grca

OP

5

Original post by kg00105

Warning flags. Talk to her.

I have. We spoke for hours. It took a few days for her to tell me everything because ''she was scared telling me everything would make me never forgive her''.
She's been crying and having panic attacks constantly. She went back home (to another country!) to spend a bit of time with her parents because she was scared of what she might do when alone.

Reply 3

Alexandraxoxo

1

Has she done this/ anything like this before?

Reply 4

DrawTheLine

22

Original post by jac_grca

My girlfriend went clubbing with her friends from uni. At the start of our relationship I told her that i believed grinding with other guys was cheating and although she didn't see grinding as cheating, she promised that she would not do it. We've been dating for over a year now.While out clubbing, she danced (grinded) with several of her guy friends, one of the guys kissed her. She pulled away. But then later on in the night she grinded with him again. Then he kissed her again. She moved away again (or so she says). Then she took his jacket and he walked her home. (apparently nothing else happened). I love her so much but is this forgivable?

That's up to you to decide. She did something that you class as cheating. Can you see yourself being with someone who you say has cheated on you? Can you trust her again? These are all things you need to think about and decide on.

Reply 5

jac_grca

OP

5

Original post by Alexandraxoxo

Has she done this/ anything like this before?

No, apparently not.

Reply 6

username3774332

22

i mean..she did kiss him twice. grinded on him twice. she knew what she was doing. and she didn't tell you all that happened. by the time she grinded why would she pull away from a kiss lmao. something doesn't add up.

now she's crying and having 'panic attacks'. victim much?

dump her

(edited 5 years ago)

Reply 7

michelevetrano18

6

massive red flag bro. I wouldn't take it, but that's for you to decide. Good luck with everything

Reply 8

jac_grca

OP

5

Original post by DrawTheLine

That's up to you to decide. She did something that you class as cheating. Can you see yourself being with someone who you say has cheated on you? Can you trust her again? These are all things you need to think about and decide on.

I know

but it's not even just the grinding. She grinded with a guy that clearly showed interest in her. I don't know what to do.

Reply 9

DrawTheLine

22

Original post by jac_grca

I know

but it's not even just the grinding. She grinded with a guy that clearly showed interest in her. I don't know what to do.

Personally if I were you I would break up with her. The trust is gone in my opinion. And a relationship can't survive without trust.

Reply 10

jac_grca

OP

5

Original post by I'mComingOxford

i mean..she did kiss him twice. grinded on him twice. she knew what she was doing. and she didn't tell you all that happened. by the time she grinded why would she pull away from a kiss lmao. something doesn't add up.

now she's crying and having 'panic attacks'. victim much?

dump her

Apparently it was just a peck on the lips. The second kiss happened when they left the club and they were waiting for the other half of the group.
I can't believe he would do that either. He knew we were dating, we went out as a group to watch movies and ****.
She gradually told me over the course of a few days. She was afraid i'd make my mind up to quickly or some ****.

Reply 11

username4362682

13

If he tried to kiss her, then it's showing her that it's not just fun and games for him, but she continued to do it knowing full well he was interested.

Reply 12

jac_grca

OP

5

Original post by michelevetrano18

massive red flag bro. I wouldn't take it, but that's for you to decide. Good luck with everything

thanks man.

In your shoes I wouldn't.

The first kiss I would say could be a genuine mistake/forgiveable - especially if she pulled away. But the fact she then went back to dancing with this same guy again shows a complete lack of respect toward you. She should've realised the same thing would happen again and yet she still went ahead and put herself in that situation. She was probably enjoying the attention.

Reply 14

jac_grca

OP

5

Original post by pemzy

If he tried to kiss her, then it's showing her that it's not just fun and games for him, but she continued to do it knowing full well he was interested.

Yes i know. However she told me that this guy went around giving 'pecks' on the lip to all the other girls there. It wasn't just her. And i believe her tbh- because he's the type to do that. But everyone else in their ''friendship'' group is single...

Reply 15

username4362682

13

Original post by jac_grca

Yes i know. However she told me that this guy went around giving 'pecks' on the lip to all the other girls there. It wasn't just her. And i believe her tbh- because he's the type to do that. But everyone else in their ''friendship'' group is single...

Us that really the sort of guy you'd be dancing with though?

Reply 16

jac_grca

OP

5

Original post by sinfonietta

In your shoes I wouldn't.

The first kiss I would say could be a genuine mistake/forgiveable - especially if she pulled away. But the fact she then went back to dancing with this same guy again shows a complete lack of respect toward you. She should've realised the same thing would happen again and yet she still went ahead and put herself in that situation. She was probably enjoying the attention.

I know

But we had something so ****ing special and I don't want it to end.

Reply 17

DerivativeName

18

break up with her. She broke your trust and then obviously didn't care enough as she did it again, AND then when he came onto her again she didn't fall out with him. If she really cared she'd have told the bloke to **** off. But she didn't, so the only reason she would be so distraught now is that she's realised it's probably going to be over

Reply 18

jac_grca

OP

5

Original post by DerivativeName

break up with her. She broke your trust and then obviously didn't care enough as she did it again, AND then when he came onto her again she didn't fall out with him. If she really cared she'd have told the bloke to **** off. But she didn't, so the only reason she would be so distraught now is that she's realised it's probably going to be over

i told her exactly what you said. She said she was afraid her friends would not want to go out with her again. She was scared of saying no to them. And she was drunk and bla bla bla