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Unemployed brother just lays in bed all day

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its quite normal unfortuantly.

Doing nothing makes you tired... litterally. When people loose their routine, loose focus, loose confidence, etc. its all just a slippery slope thats harder and harder to get out of.

The answer is to keep routine alive, keep working, keep moving and keep pushing, even if its not in the areas that you want it to be. If I were advising you and your parents it would be that you should keep forcing him to do stuff.. give him jobs, give him responsibilities, give him tasks - and don't accept his crap when he doesn't want to do them. It doesn't matter what they are, they don't have to be huge or revolve around money.. just things to keep him going.

Once he is up and about doing stuff most days, then you can look towards the future and make a decent plan to help him get a job - maybe study some more, maybe change fields of interest etc.
Original post by notkl
How can he do that if he laysin bed all day?

****ing hell, how old are you :rofl: This isn't the 80s, we don't go around to shops requesting to see the manager to ask him for a job. The extreme majority of job applications are done online.
Reply 22
Original post by Bang Outta Order
I dont understand judging your own sibling.

ha. think op is jealous too.

look at you. being all understanding for once lol.

Lmao, I have to be in this particular case; living off my boyfriend and all. Same age, too. 🙄
Is OP a graduate with a job? Pehaps he/she could help their sibling get into employment. Social isolation, little interest and motivation to do things and to some extent oversleeping could be signs of depression/mental Illness. HIs parents could monitor his behaviour and report it to the GP who could make a referral to the CMHT who could then attempt to section him if they observe a rapid deterioration in mental state; that is the only way he will get help if he does not engage with anyone. However I think a sensible first-line approach could be an antidepressant from the GP and a few consultations with a clinical psychologist; this is the least cost to the NHS/taxpayer and it would be make life less unpleasant for him.
Reply 24
Original post by JudaicImposter
Is OP a graduate with a job? Pehaps he/she could help their sibling get into employment. Social isolation, little interest and motivation to do things and to some extent oversleeping could be signs of depression/mental Illness. HIs parents could monitor his behaviour and report it to the GP who could make a referral to the CMHT who could then attempt to section him if they observe a rapid deterioration in mental state; that is the only way he will get help if he does not engage with anyone. However I think a sensible first-line approach could be an antidepressant from the GP and a few consultations with a clinical psychologist; this is the least cost to the NHS/taxpayer and it would be make life less unpleasant for him.

Are you out of your ****ing mind? You don't section people for depression if they are not suicidal!
Original post by Seamus123
I would be up ending that mattress onto the floor if he were one of my grandsons.


Probably is exactly what he needs. Sometimes you just need someone to give you a friendly kick up the arse to get going again. :biggrin:
I liken it to bump starting a car with a dead battery.
Why are you all assuming he has mental health issues? He may have, or he may just be taking the piss and if his parents don’t mind him lying in bed all day, then he is going to do that because there is no incentive for him to do anything else.
Have youtried talking to him?
Original post by Notoriety
Oh here we go. A slight lack of self-esteem and he needs to be sectioned.

The mindset of a millennial.


This is one of the most frequent misunderstandings about depression; that the person who has it has somehow brought it on themselves by not having the correct mindset or strategies to cope. It's much, much more complicated than "it's all in your head".

The reason depression has become such an epidemic is because our social and economic systems are flawed and actually fuelling mental disorders. Your mindset will never reduce this epidemic because you're barking up the wrong tree and have no idea what you're talking about.
(edited 5 years ago)
Original post by Notoriety
Awful lot of straw man here. I am racist and a chauvinist.

And that straw man's lack of energy is no doubt necessarily attributable to his borderline personality disorder, too.

You people for some reason always need to attach a label to everything; and over-diagnose MH issues. OP's brother might be depressed, but you don't know that from a 2-line summary! So calm ya tits.


It's Big Pharma that started this trend. Labelling more people with a psychiatric disorder is used to push pills and chase profits. I have no doubt that mental illness is on the rise, but having everyone labelled mentally ill and on drugs is bad for society and actually fuels the epidemic.
Original post by TRS much?
This is one of the most frequent misunderstandings about depression; that the person who has it has somehow brought it on themselves by not having the correct mindset or strategies to cope. It's much, much more complicated than "it's all in your head".

The reason depression has become such an epidemic is because our social and economic systems are flawed and actually fuelling mental disorders. Your mindset will never reduce this epidemic because you're barking up the wrong tree and have no idea what you're talking about.

If that were what I said, or even implied, you might have a point.
Original post by Notoriety


And that straw man's lack of energy is no doubt necessarily attributable to his borderline personality disorder, too.

:rolleyes: do you actually know anything about BPD
Original post by notkl
How can he do that if he laysin bed all day?


There are portable devices people use that can access the internet.
Original post by CoolCavy
:rolleyes: do you actually know anything about BPD

No, couldn't care less.
Original post by Notoriety
No, couldn't care less.

Glad you are privileged enough not to have to know about it
Next time maybe don't bring up something irrelevant and that you have absolutely no clue about
Original post by CoolCavy
Glad you are privileged enough not to have to know about it
Next time maybe don't bring up something irrelevant and that you have absolutely no clue about

Nah, I have my own issues that take up my daily attention. Doesn't imply privilege.
Original post by Notoriety
Nah, I have my own issues that take up my daily attention. Doesn't imply privilege.

Not being ill with something and therefore not having to live with it everyday and know the ins and outs of it is a privilege I think you will find.
Same way I'm privileged that my lungs work and don't have astma or that I have legs.
Noone forced you to bring up BPD you chose to flippantly mention it so don't act like the victim when people call you out on it.
sounds fun ngl, i take days off uni just to stay up until 6am and watch youtube & play games :biggrin:
Quite a lot of depression is situational. He probably is quite depressed that he doesn't have a job.

When I was out of work for a while I got quite down and didn't want to confront the situation of looking for work sometimes. The idea of it gives you anxiety and constant rejection gets you down.

Saying that though, what the OP is probably slightly correct in that he'll be in a comfortable situation just now where he isn't forced into finding work. You soon find something, or anything, when you need to pay your way!
Reply 39
Original post by CoolCavy
:rolleyes: do you actually know anything about BPD

Off topic but this needs to be said, lmao - love your new avatar, it's soooo cute!

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