Should i marry/date him (he is 30 years older)?

Yes (unless he's super ugly, or creepy). Your own comfort and financial security should be your top priority. You can always sleep with other people behind his back, too.

^ Not a recipe for long-term happiness

The OP lives in the Netherlands. Looking at the Wiki page for age of consent, for the Netherlands it says:


Art 245: "A person who, out of wedlock, with a person who has reached the age of twelve but has not reached sixteen, performs indecent acts comprising or including sexual penetration of the body is liable to a term of imprisonment of not more than eight years or a fine of the fifth category."

Art 247: "A person who, with a person whom he knows to be unconscious or physically unable to resist or to be suffering from such a degree of mental defect or mental disease that he is incapable or not sufficiently capable of exercising or expressing his will in the matter or of offering resistance, performs indecent acts, or who, with a person who has not yet reached the age of sixteen (16) years, out of wedlock, performs indecent acts, or by whom the latter is enticed into performing, or submitting to such acts, out of wedlock, with a third party, is liable to a term of imprisonment of not more than six years or a fine of the fourth category."

According to my understanding of this law. you can marry a 12 year old in the Netherlands and legally have sex with her.
If this man made it clear that sex would only be within marriage at the age of 14, or no sex until the OP was 16 - and if he has abided by that policy with all other young women in the Netherlands - then legally he is not liable for conviction as a paedophile in that country.

And if that's the case, everyone calling him a paedophile in this thread would appear to be just name calling based on their own personal perception of what the law should be in the Netherlands. This could be name calling verging on libel - as this man may have acted completely within the law at all times.
Different countries around the world have different cultures and different laws.

The OP lives in the Netherlands. Looking at the Wiki page for age of consent, for the Netherlands it says:


Art 245: "A person who, out of wedlock, with a person who has reached the age of twelve but has not reached sixteen, performs indecent acts comprising or including sexual penetration of the body is liable to a term of imprisonment of not more than eight years or a fine of the fifth category."

Art 247: "A person who, with a person whom he knows to be unconscious or physically unable to resist or to be suffering from such a degree of mental defect or mental disease that he is incapable or not sufficiently capable of exercising or expressing his will in the matter or of offering resistance, performs indecent acts, or who, with a person who has not yet reached the age of sixteen (16) years, out of wedlock, performs indecent acts, or by whom the latter is enticed into performing, or submitting to such acts, out of wedlock, with a third party, is liable to a term of imprisonment of not more than six years or a fine of the fourth category."

According to my understanding of this law. you can marry a 12 year old in the Netherlands and legally have sex with her.
If this man made it clear that sex would only be within marriage at the age of 14, or no sex until the OP was 16 - and if he has abided by that policy with all other young women in the Netherlands - then legally he is not liable for conviction as a paedophile in that country.

And if that's the case, everyone calling him a paedophile in this thread would appear to be just name calling based on their own personal perception of what the law should be in the Netherlands. This could be name calling verging on libel - as this man may have acted completely within the law at all times.
Different countries around the world have different cultures and different laws.

You're making up a stereotype that just isn't true.

Oh no I'm not. What I'm saying is very much backed up by statistics. For example Google "statistics for teenage relationships lasting"
And you will find that in the USA.only 2% of high school sweathearts end up marrying. Of those that do marry whilst teenagers only 54% of them have marriages that last more than 10 years, whilst those that wait till they are over 25, have a 78% chance of their marriage lasting over 10 years.


Also, anecdotally, every man that I know, including me, was relatively hopeless at long term romantic relationships whilst they were 22 or under. Too many of them will be hopeless at relationships until the day they die. But enough of them learn from their mistakes and develop and mature to the point where they would make reasonable husbands after the age of 25 to 30. With continuous improvement in this area being a life-long thing for the wiser ones.

Can't you ****ing read? It says 8 years of prison. The age of consent in Netherlands is 16.

Can't you read?

It says A person who, out of wedlock, with a person who has reached the age of twelve but has not reached sixteen

It sounds like you want to marry him to take advantage of him - not because you've an interest in him. So no. Let him find someone else who actually cares about him.

It is name calling. It also adequately conveys the disdain and social inappropriateness of a 50 year old man marrying a 18 year old, regardless of legality. The law isn't the arbiter of morality.

You might not think that the law is the arbiter of morality. I think it is.

In 21st Century Western Europe anyway.


It would be rather big headed of you to think that you know better what's an appropriate law for the Netherlands than the elected Government of that country.
It's a different country to the UK with a different culture. If you don't like their culture or their laws then you are quite welcome to carry on living in the UK.

I however love the culture in the Netherlands and would be very happy to live there at any time - and to abide by all their laws and to use their laws as my moral guidance whilst I Ilved there.

You might not think that the law is the arbiter of morality. I think it is.

In 21st Century Western Europe anyway.


It would be rather big headed of you to think that you know better what's an appropriate law for the Netherlands than the elected Government of that country.
It's a different country to the UK with a different culture. If you don't like their culture or their laws then you are quite welcome to carry on living in the UK.

I however love the culture in the Netherlands and would be very happy to live there at any time - and to abide by all their laws and to use their laws as my moral guidance whilst I Ilved there.

Wtf are you talking about? You are wrong. You don't even know their laws.

Are you saying that the Wiki entry that I pasted into this thread is incorrect?

Please take it up with Wiki, not me.

And please feel free to quote the piece of Netherlands legislation, including your source, if you know better than Wiki what the law on consent is in the Netherlands.

bruv cheating on someone is wrong but it's not illegal. you crazy

In some countries it is illegal.

In others it isn't.

If I were married I therefore would not cheat on my wife if we lived in Saudi Arabia.


The question is, is something so wrong that it deserves punishment?
I don't think that cheating comes into that category - which is why I'm happy with the law on this in the UK.

When it comes to a 50 year old man having sex with a child.
If the child is 5 years old, I think that that deserves punishment. Strong punishment from a long prison term.
If the person is 12 years old, is married to the 50 year old, lives in the Netherlands then (according to my understanding of NL law) no that does not deserve punsihment.
If the person is 18 years old and lives in the UK or the Netherlands then again no, it does not deserve punishment.

https://www.ageofconsent.net/world/netherlands
https://www.girlsnotbrides.org/child-marriage/the-netherlands/

Don't just spread false information like that!