My Mum smokes cigarettes

My Mum smokes. I am in year 12 now. Ever since year 5, whenever I have found her cigarettes I have thrown them away and she always shouts at me when I do (as you'd expect). She did actually stop from year 6 up to now, but she would go on and off (so start doing them for a week and then stop). Recently she has started to smoke again in a more long term way, for the last 2 or 3 months (probably less).

Basically what I want to ask, is am I wrong in throwing her biffs away, obviously I don't want her getting cancer or some **** in the future when I could have done something about it.

I didn't post this for people to reaffirm what I'm doing, I just want to know if I should or shouldn't stop doing this.

You're in the wrong. Smoking is her choice and an expensive one at that - you're not going to prevent her smoking you're just going to make her spend even more money on the habit.

Reply 2

Claire461

21

Original post by Anonymous

My Mum smokes. I am in year 12 now. Ever since year 5, whenever I have found her cigarettes I have thrown them away and she always shouts at me when I do (as you'd expect). She did actually stop from year 6 up to now, but she would go on and off (so start doing them for a week and then stop). Recently she has started to smoke again in a more long term way, for the last 2 or 3 months (probably less).

Basically what I want to ask, is am I wrong in throwing her biffs away, obviously I don't want her getting cancer or some **** in the future when I could have done something about it.

I didn't post this for people to reaffirm what I'm doing, I just want to know if I should or shouldn't stop doing this.

Don’t be such a little busybody. It’s nothing to do with you what your mum does. She is an adult and makes her own choices just as you will when you are an adult and you won’t want someone being in your business.
I don’t smoke myself and never have done, but if I had, none of my children would have the cheek to do what you have done.

Reply 3

AzureCeleste

20

You can try and encourage her not to smoke by explaining why she shouldn't but you can't force her not to
Throwing cigarettes away is stupid is they are costly so you are essentially throwing money away (which could've potentially been spent on you for all you know)

Reply 4

SudanesePrince

13

Original post by Anonymous

My Mum smokes. I am in year 12 now. Ever since year 5, whenever I have found her cigarettes I have thrown them away and she always shouts at me when I do (as you'd expect). She did actually stop from year 6 up to now, but she would go on and off (so start doing them for a week and then stop). Recently she has started to smoke again in a more long term way, for the last 2 or 3 months (probably less).

Basically what I want to ask, is am I wrong in throwing her biffs away, obviously I don't want her getting cancer or some **** in the future when I could have done something about it.

I didn't post this for people to reaffirm what I'm doing, I just want to know if I should or shouldn't stop doing this.

I'm not too sure about your method for preventing you mum smoking. But I feel that if I was in your position all the "it's her choice" stuff would go out the window.

I would act to stop my mother, how I would do so I don't know, but I would, I know that much. God help you man, I wouldn't want to be in your position.

Best of luck to you,

Reply 5

Plus7

17

Well, pretty stupid plan. She'll just buy more and you've lost money. But I see where you're coming from. Maybe encourage her to get checked, like a liver and lung blood test check etc? I realise this doesn't solve anything but yeah. She has to want to change, you can't make her.

Reply 6

Anonymous #2

I understand why you did what you did, it's not nice witnessing your parents damaging their bodies. If you can, talk to her about it and tell her how it's affecting your emotions and how you don't want to lose her.

My dad used to smoke up to 30 cigarrettes a day but has now quit for good after having 2 heart attacks.
When I was young and in year 5, I wrote a small letter to him and placed it in his cabinet where he'd keep his cigarrettes and it said something like "dad, I was in class today and the teacher said that smoking kills. Please stop." and that was all.
When the heart attacks happened, my dad remembered the small letter I wrote to him and stopped smoking and drinking altogether.

So if you can't talk to her, write to her. It'll still be effective and hopefully your emotions will get through to her
Stay strong, I know how you feel xxxx

Reply 7

Anonymous #2

Original post by SudanesePrince

I'm not too sure about your method for preventing you mum smoking. But I feel that if I was in your position all the "it's her choice" stuff would go out the window.

I would act to stop my mother, how I would do so I don't know, but I would, I know that much. God help you man, I wouldn't want to be in your position.

Best of luck to you,

Exactly, 100% agree!

Reply 8

Bang Outta Order

20

you can die from smoking. my mum's mum did, and so my mum doesnt smoke. however, when I smoke, she doesnt care :sad:

lol oh well.

Reply 9

joeged123

12

Just start smoking yourself, that'll show her...

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

OP

Appreciate the advice and replies.

I have tried talking to her, whenever I do she says she'll "stop after this last pack" and always buys another one (I understand that it is addicting and hard to stop immdiately), but there aren't even any signs of her reducing how much she smokes. What I say isn't working, so I feel like I should take action. No one else in the household really cares about her habit. Wasting cigarettes (and so money) in the short term to at least try and reduce her habit and stop her wasting money to me seems worth it.

And yes, it is her choice but when her choice will eventually most likely affect me whether it be financially or whatever, I beleive I should get involved as well.

Again, thanks for the replies.

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by joeged123

Just start smoking yourself, that'll show her.

I do think of doing this myself quite a lot. Maybe start smoking a cigarette as she gets home or as she goes out to have one, but it does seem a bit hypocritical.

Reply 12

Bang Outta Order

20

Original post by Anonymous

I do think of doing this myself quite a lot. Maybe start smoking a cigarette as she gets home or as she goes out to have one, but it does seem a bit hypocritical.

just smoke fake ones. dont be a div and give yourself cancer :rofl:

or...you could..if getting her to stop means that much. I'd do it.

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Bang Outta Order

just smoke fake ones. dont be a div and give yourself cancer :rofl:

or...you could..if getting her to stop means that much. I'd do it.

Yeah, I wouldn't start smoking as a habit, I would just do it once or twice just so that she could see me. Unlikely I will though

Reply 14

Tootles

21

Original post by Anonymous

My Mum smokes. I am in year 12 now. Ever since year 5, whenever I have found her cigarettes I have thrown them away and she always shouts at me when I do (as you'd expect). She did actually stop from year 6 up to now, but she would go on and off (so start doing them for a week and then stop). Recently she has started to smoke again in a more long term way, for the last 2 or 3 months (probably less).

Basically what I want to ask, is am I wrong in throwing her biffs away, obviously I don't want her getting cancer or some **** in the future when I could have done something about it.

I didn't post this for people to reaffirm what I'm doing, I just want to know if I should or shouldn't stop doing this.

None of your business. You’re butting in where you have no right to an opinion, unless she’s blowing smoke at you. You absolutely don’t have any right to steal her stuff – however much you don’t approve of it – and get rid of it.

Also biffs are cannabis reefers, not tobacco cigarettes.

Reply 15

Anonymous #2

I think you should get involved. As her child, you have every right to let her know how you feel about her decisions no matter what actions you wish to take. Whatever affects her will affect you e.g. her smoking and damaging her body is affecting you and your mental and emotional health. It’s stressing you out and you need to get your message across.

You mentioned that no one in the household cares about her habits - be the person who does care. Don’t let her make decisions she’ll probably regret later on in life.

As an alternative to throwing her cigarettes/buffs away, tell someone in the household that it’s affecting you and that you’d like to talk to your mum in front of the family. Have a proper, serious conversation about this and try to figure out a plan that will help your mum ween off this bad habit.

I hope this helps xx

Reply 16

Abby101010

8

smoking is better and it's better for health injury , ask her what she like? health injury or better life!☺️

Reply 17

Poppyiq

2

Original post by Seamus123

Don’t be such a little busybody. It’s nothing to do with you what your mum does. She is an adult and makes her own choices just as you will when you are an adult and you won’t want someone being in your business.
I don’t smoke myself and never have done, but if I had, none of my children would have the cheek to do what you have done.

Original post by sinfonietta

You're in the wrong. Smoking is her choice and an expensive one at that - you're not going to prevent her smoking you're just going to make her spend even more money on the habit.