Hi, I am in year 11 and am going to do a levels. I will most likely stay at my current school because i have pretty good teachers. But i am not sure. Mostly because I have bad (?) "friends".
I am nice to everyone and now that everyone likes me but my close circle of friends don't feel like friend friends. They are friends, but I feel as though i'm just there and not really there.
For example, they just suddenly go somewhere during break and I'm left all alone looking for them. I ask why didn't you guys tell me and they're like I thought you knew. Other occasions, when I go off somewhere none of them ask me "Where'd you go?" but whenever one of them go somewhere I ask them. Also, I always wait behind for my "close friends" but none of them ever really wait for me???
I have around 5 good friends. But they're all the same. I don't really feel like i can relate to them. Like if i'm having problems at home, i don't feel like I can openly talk about it to anyone.
Also, they always look down at me during classwork, even though we're around the same. If I understand something I always go around helping. If they understand something that I don't none of them help me understand.
I just feel really lonely at times, like no one is there.
For example one of my friends (when we had the same career choice) were like i'm not gonna become a doctor anymore it takes too much time etc.... That seed sort of grew in my mind and now I don't wanna become a doctor.
Turns out that close friend wants to do it now. Hypocrite! Was he just saying that so I wouldn't become one. I'm 95% sure he was wanting to become a doctor the whole time.
None of them are really supportive towards me.
Another close (probably the best friend I have) sometimes just ignores me (not sure if intentional, i think his hearing sucks!). And then when I understand something in science and he doesn't I explain to him and he always assumes that I'm wrong. All the time!!! He is probably the most friendly to me, but still it's little thinks like that that make me question everyone.
Whenever I ask a question that they now the answer to but I don't in science they all just me that "Tut tut tut" or "U stoopid" look or they laugh.
Whenever I do something normal (like take a poo and they here the plop), they just tell everyone and they all just laugh at me.
Honestly, I don't think anyone really understands me or cares about me. I just get bored of them sometimes and they get bored of me. But I don't blame them I'm a pretty boring person.
Sometimes, I just feel invisible, like no one really sees or hears me.
Is it worth another 2 years in a level with them??? But I don't wanna move cuz i have great teachers!