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Can someone grade my PEE paragraph please :) ?

This is just a PEE paragraph I practiced for GCSE English Literature. Please note it's not my full answer. I'm in year 11 and I really want to get a grade 9 in English Literature :smile:

Question: Starting with this extract, how does Dickens present Scrooge as an outsider to society?

Dickens presents Scrooge as an outsider to society. The writer claims that "Nobody ever stopped him in the street, no beggars implored him to bestow a trifle, no children asked him what it was o' clock..." In this part of the extract, Dickens employs syntactic parallelism to induce a cumulative effect upon the reader of Scrooge's misanthropic demeanour, which also contradicts the typical philanthropic Christian values of togetherness in society that Charles Dickens (a devout Christian) tries to project throughout the novella.
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Original post by DaQuestioner
This is just a PEE paragraph I practiced for GCSE English Literature. Please note it's not my full answer. I'm in year 11 and I really want to get a grade 9 in English Literature :smile:

Question: Starting with this extract, how does Dickens present Scrooge as an outsider to society?

Dickens presents Scrooge as an outsider to society. The writer claims that "Nobody ever stopped him in the street, no beggars implored him to bestow a trifle, no children asked him what it was o' clock..." In this part of the extract, Dickens employs syntactic parallelism to induce a cumulative effect upon the reader of Scrooge's misanthropic demeanour, which also contradicts the typical philanthropic Christian values of togetherness in society that Charles Dickens (a devout Christian) tries to project throughout the novella.

Hmmmm, in my dickens Christmas carol gcse last year, we were told to stay away from presumptions over his faith due to it being widely unknown. Metaphors, for si at ce the church bells at the end, don’t necessarily mean he was a ‘devote Christian’. I’d steer clear from notions about his character, besides that he wanted to strike “a sledgehammer blow” for instance.
Original post by ryan15mcc
Hmmmm, in my dickens Christmas carol gcse last year, we were told to stay away from presumptions over his faith due to it being widely unknown. Metaphors, for si at ce the church bells at the end, don’t necessarily mean he was a ‘devote Christian’. I’d steer clear from notions about his character, besides that he wanted to strike “a sledgehammer blow” for instance.

Thanks for replying :smile: just one question; what does he want to strike a "sledgehammer blow" about?
Original post by DaQuestioner
Thanks for replying :smile: just one question; what does he want to strike a "sledgehammer blow" about?

No problem, excellent paragraph by the way.

Essentially Dickens can be characterised, in heinsite to my gcse’s, as a philanthropist. He saw the usage of the poor laws for a deplorable state of deepening the void between rich and poor, and used ACC to strike a sledgehammer blow against the rich and powerful - a cautionary tale. In doing so exposing the horrors of Industrial Age England, and the intrinsic exploitation of the poor.
Original post by ryan15mcc
No problem, excellent paragraph by the way.

Essentially Dickens can be characterised, in heinsite to my gcse’s, as a philanthropist. He saw the usage of the poor laws for a deplorable state of deepening the void between rich and poor, and used ACC to strike a sledgehammer blow against the rich and powerful - a cautionary tale. In doing so exposing the horrors of Industrial Age England, and the intrinsic exploitation of the poor.

Thank you very much :smile: This really helps!
Reply 6
I haven't done Dickens, or English above GCSE, but I've done an essay based degree at Cambridge University and I think it's a great paragraph. Try and get hold of a mark scheme for a paper and see exactly what they are dishing out marks for.
Original post by catph
I haven't done Dickens, or English above GCSE, but I've done an essay based degree at Cambridge University and I think it's a great paragraph. Try and get hold of a mark scheme for a paper and see exactly what they are dishing out marks for.

Thanks a lot :smile:
Original post by DaQuestioner
Thank you very much :smile: This really helps!

You’re looking at a 9 if you write like that for sure, just don’t say about his religion.
Original post by ryan15mcc
You’re looking at a 9 if you write like that for sure, just don’t say about his religion.

Thanks, I won't :smile:
I think this PEE paragraph is excellent well done. My teacher has said that this is a definitely straight 9 grade.
Original post by DaQuestioner
Thanks, I won't :smile:

Actually there are no wrong answers with these sorts of things just write what you think and you will get it right.
Original post by DaQuestioner
This is just a PEE paragraph I practiced for GCSE English Literature. Please note it's not my full answer. I'm in year 11 and I really want to get a grade 9 in English Literature :smile:

Question: Starting with this extract, how does Dickens present Scrooge as an outsider to society?

Dickens presents Scrooge as an outsider to society. The writer claims that "Nobody ever stopped him in the street, no beggars implored him to bestow a trifle, no children asked him what it was o' clock..." In this part of the extract, Dickens employs syntactic parallelism to induce a cumulative effect upon the reader of Scrooge's misanthropic demeanour, which also contradicts the typical philanthropic Christian values of togetherness in society that Charles Dickens (a devout Christian) tries to project throughout the novella.

What exam board is this for?

Syntactic parallelism is a sophisticated technique but you could always focus on the use of language a bit more, selecting specific words from within the long quotation to explore how Dickens creates an impression of Scrooge's misanthropy. For example, you could focus on the people. 'beggars' desperate support choose not to engage a potential benefactor and young 'children', typically naive and needy are clearly aware of Scrooge's reputation / are put off by his demeanour. The key thing here is that both of these groups of people have needs, ranging from the minute (asking for the time, which would require very little from Scrooge e.g. the effort of looking at a watch, pausing on his travels, and opening his mouth) to the more severe (a 'trifle' would require Scrooge to gift something, though this would be small). Either way, the effort and sacrifice of time or money is too much for Scrooge.
Original post by ryan15mcc
No problem, excellent paragraph by the way.

Essentially Dickens can be characterised, in heinsite to my gcse’s, as a philanthropist. He saw the usage of the poor laws for a deplorable state of deepening the void between rich and poor, and used ACC to strike a sledgehammer blow against the rich and powerful - a cautionary tale. In doing so exposing the horrors of Industrial Age England, and the intrinsic exploitation of the poor.


Hi um can you please help me with my work? I have to write a PETER (Point,evidence,technique,explanation,readers effect) paragraph on how dickens uses language and structure to present scrooge. I am really struggling with the techniques as it's hard for me to deeply analyse so could you please give me a model answer or something on how i should answer a question like this?
Original post by ryan15mcc
No problem, excellent paragraph by the way.

Essentially Dickens can be characterised, in heinsite to my gcse’s, as a philanthropist. He saw the usage of the poor laws for a deplorable state of deepening the void between rich and poor, and used ACC to strike a sledgehammer blow against the rich and powerful - a cautionary tale. In doing so exposing the horrors of Industrial Age England, and the intrinsic exploitation of the poor.


Hi um can you please help me with my work? I have to write a PETER (Point,evidence,technique,explanation,readers effect) paragraph on how dickens uses language and structure to present scrooge. I am really struggling with the techniques as it's hard for me to deeply analyse so could you please give me a model answer or something on how i should answer a question like this?

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