My bf went thru my phone HELP !!

To cut the story short ...

We were together in bed ... we just had sex and were laying there just chatting away...

So he asked me for my phone as I promised him once over the phone on how he was able to see who I spoke to etc in case he didn’t trust me because there were days where he’d have doubts about me talking to other boys...

Anyway he went thru all my DMs on Instagram which were all good and he then went over to my snapchat and saw I was chatting to this one guy..

Before you say anything this one guy was flirting yes but I only saw him as a friend ... he replied to a pic of mine saying I looked good and how he wanted to talk to me over the phone ...

I replied to him ok he could ring later on ... I didn’t have any intentions of it being flirty or in that way as I love my bf very much and I just saw this other guy as friend...

My bf read the convo and asked me and I told him he’s just a friend and my bf didn’t really react but I could see it was like someone slapped him on the face he seemed a bit down and didn’t really talk to me much after ....

So I went home he spoke to me but seemed very not himself it’s like he was been put off...

The next couple of days he rang me a few times then a week later he stopped contacting me ..

I asked him why he didn’t text or ring me and he said he was just too busy with work and had a lot on his mind and it was nothing to do with this guy or the convo he read...

I’m so confused he’s being so distant towards me!!

He still wants to meet up with me but he won’t take the time out to talk to me like before ..

Why is he doing this!

What do I do!

HELP IT KILLS

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Reply 1

sandytablet

Meet up with him and bring it up there. Tell him that he should believe you. If you want to go to extreme measures, tell him that you'll delete the guy if he doesn't believe you (although this is a bit much and I don't think I'd do it myself).

Give him the reason that you wouldn't let him look through your phone if you were cheating on him. This seems like a common sense thing. Hopefully, this is just a small blunder.

Reply 2

username47781

Original post by Anonymous

He has trust issues

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Original post by Rock Fan

He has trust issues

Yhh I know he does but what do I do... he puts no effort in anymore... he’s saying he extremely busy with work and what not which i get but do you think lowkey it’s to do with the fact he saw me speaking to someone else ?

Reply 4

xoxAngel_Kxox

First of all, if I had a boyfriend (I say if, I do) and someone messaged me being flirty on Snapchat asking could they phone me, I'd say no. I would know his intentions behind that conversation.

But.. it's never a good idea for an insecure person to look through their partner's phone (secure people probably wouldn't even ask to) because when you're insecure you're looking for something, and you'll find it - you'll read things into even innocent conversations because you're expecting to find something there. If he's asking to look, he's paranoid, and tbh relationships shouldn't be like that. It's not healthy.

Reply 5

tashkent46

I'm not cheating I'm just arranging a secret phone call with some random on Snapchat who's only interest and connection to me is he thinks I'm fit. Honest no cheating.

Reply 6

xoxAngel_Kxox

Original post by tashkent46

I'm not cheating I'm just arranging a secret phone call with some random on Snapchat who's only interest and connection to me is he thinks I'm fit. Honest no cheating.

If you're making a phonecall that you need to keep secret, there's a problem. I'm not saying that you need to tell him everyone you talk to, or tell him what you talk about, but if you feel like you can't tell him you're calling this guy, you need to think carefully about what it means.

Reply 7

boom88

Original post by Anonymous

Just delete the convo when you flirt with guys on snapchat. At least he didn't send a dickpic.

Reply 8

Anonymous #2

Trust issues? A guy was flirty and then asked if he could call later, and instead of blocking him or saying 'No', she proceeds to give him a time he could call later?

This generation has gone to the dogs.

Reply 9

username47781

Original post by Anonymous

The big problem you both have is obviously lack of communication, the moment things go wrong it seems you go straight to another guy to chat to him rather than trying to sort it out.

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

He wasn’t an actual friend no... just someone random of snapchat

Reply 11

Tomsunny12

Seems like you were leading him on a bit . That’s probably what the bf saw .
Obviously the bf does have trust issues aswell

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

Ok yes fine I made a mistake but I told him everything how it wasn’t like that the way he thought as much as it may seem like it...

Now he’s too busy to even talk to me?
Why won’t he admit it’s got em and he needs space or just leave things ... he still wants to see me for sex I’m so confused

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

Yes I see what u mean and off course I’ve tried to sort this out I’ve asked countless amount of times what’s the matter etc all he saying is he’s busy and he still cares for me etc ... he just wants to focus on work and keep busy and not have to worry about other things...

He’s saying he’s financially unstable too and before he made too much time for me and it made him lazy and not go to work... which i have to say is very true

But then I still feel like there’s something he’s not telling me ... every time i ask him he avoids it or just uses the excuse of work...

As far as sex is concerned he always asks me what I want if I told him I won’t do it he’d never make me ...

He has said he prefers to go to a hotel so he can get some rest but equally he knows we always end up having sex when we are in bed... but he’s also given me the option of doing other things ... like a proper date

So it’s very confusing

Reply 14

catsmeow_at_me

Original post by tashkent46

I'm not cheating I'm just arranging a secret phone call with some random on Snapchat who's only interest and connection to me is he thinks I'm fit. Honest no cheating.

Lol are you reading what you're writing?? Why would you want to bother with someone who you KNOW is flirting with you and clearly just wants to flirt with you. How would you react if this was your boyfriend talking to a girl that said the same things the boy said to you. How do you not see you're doing anything wrong? I get why your boyfriend is upset.

Reply 15

Anonymous #1

Original post by catsmeow_at_me

I didn’t write that to start of with lol !!

Someone else wrote it they are tryna be funny or sarcastic but I think it was a stupid response to my thread ... I’m genuinely asking what I should I’m worried for my bf and some idiot decides to put that up ... ahhhh I wasn’t flirting with this other guy nor was I hiding it from my bf hence why I gave him my phone ...

I didn’t think it’d be an issue hence why he had my phone whilst I was doing other things ... but clearly it’s bothered him a lot for him to keep his distance from me now...

Reply 16

999tigger

Original post by Anonymous

Your reaction is different from what mine would be.

Some people are ok, but a significant group of people value their privacy and wuld consider your bfs actions a gross invasion.

They would also consider him controlling, immature, uptight and untrusting.

They would dump him for all those reasons.

At the moment he is having a sulk, emotionally manipulating and starting to control you. he is inscure and he doesnt trust you. Its a form of punishment and you are no longer harmonious or equals.

Dont give in to his behaviour, do talk to him about it and let him vent, then see if he is able to deal with it and move on or wants to act wounded.ro make you feel guilty. Imo he either trusts you or he doesnt. Talk to him, but dont jump to the beat of his drum , but get on with your own life.

Reply 17

catsmeow_at_me

Original post by Anonymous

Ooops sorry!!

I get that you wasn't the one flirting, but still, if he was flirting with you I just don't get why you would still want to talk to him. Just my opinion. I wouldn't reply to someone that was flirting with me and i know i wouldn;t want my boyfriend talking to a girl that was flirting with him even if it was a friend. Your boyfriend might of had a bad experience in the past so even something small like this would upset him!

But just talk to him about everything, try and get to the bottom of why he is insecure and you can work from there :smile:

Reply 18

Chioru'

Have you considered that maybe this "friend" of yours has changed anything about your behaviour to lead your BF to think that you are misleading him? With that said, i cannot imagine a healthy relationship where either of the partners has complete access to the other ones' privacy, though i know people that make it work. Up to you.

Also, how do you think your bf feels about the fact that you are looking for other men/boys to flirt with you, regardless of flirting back. Just be honest with whatever goes on, while still keeping your privacy. I don't know your boyfriend (maybe you feel forced to lie because of him overreacting) but you should've told him. Would you want him to tell you if he's chatting with a girl on snapchat but to rest assured, it's all platonic on his end or would you have rather found out some other way? Staying silent can be a form of lie.

PS: i'm in the dude's corner because i see you already have a lot of support. However, he should not want to go through your phone.