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My housemates don't get on with me?

I've been living in my student house since September. But the issue is, I really don't get on with my housemates. They're all really into the rave/club scene, which isn't my thing and they constantly are together being super loud and playing music. I've never minded the noise or complained, but I do like my personal space so I've tended to be in my room in the evenings doing work and winding down from the day. I also choose not to club as much as they do, so they think I'm boring for staying in. They never really include me in anything, nor talk to me when I'm around. It's just really boring and I'm always paranoid that they're talking about me and laughing about me. I just don't share their interests at all and we're completely different people. They make all the house decisions without me all the time, and will always have private jokes in which I do try and join in and ask what they're about, but they always just shrug me off and say they can't be bothered to repeat the story. I've got 4 months left, what should I do?
Don't have any advice but I'm in a similar situation. Hope things get better for you :smile:
Original post by ashwxo
I've been living in my student house since September. But the issue is, I really don't get on with my housemates. They're all really into the rave/club scene, which isn't my thing and they constantly are together being super loud and playing music. I've never minded the noise or complained, but I do like my personal space so I've tended to be in my room in the evenings doing work and winding down from the day. I also choose not to club as much as they do, so they think I'm boring for staying in. They never really include me in anything, nor talk to me when I'm around. It's just really boring and I'm always paranoid that they're talking about me and laughing about me. I just don't share their interests at all and we're completely different people. They make all the house decisions without me all the time, and will always have private jokes in which I do try and join in and ask what they're about, but they always just shrug me off and say they can't be bothered to repeat the story. I've got 4 months left, what should I do?


They're your housemates, not your mates or friends at the end of the day. If you didn't start the year being friends, then I doubt you'd leave the academic year being friends too. That's the reality of it.

If you want to be a part of their club, you've got to join. You have to join in the same activities they're into. I'm sure they're not always clubbing.

Maybe you can do things to build a strong community within your household. Perhaps start a WhatsApp or Facebook house chat/group. Perhaps ask them to chip in to make a group meal once a week, do weekly shopping together as a house, perhaps eat out once a month or go to a Wetherspoons on a weekend. Go to the cinema, maybe go and work on assignments together in the library if you guys have similar deadlines.

There's many things you can do outside clubbing that could build up your relationship with them. Perhaps if they're in the living room or kitchen together one time, you will join them. Make yourself a hot drink and start or add to the conversation. Just the small things like suggesting you guys all go out might change the household dynamics a little bit. It won't solve the problem over night, but it will be a start.

Or failing that, find friends you can hang out with all the time at their place. I do sympathise with you because during my 2nd year, I lived with a bunch of guys that weren't my cup of tea - at all! So I mostly spent my time back at home with my ex-partner, in the library or failing that in my room or I'd usually be chilling at my friends house all the time. So I'd rarely see my housemates, apart from when we're cooking or leaving the house.

In short; make an effort or keep yourself busy instead. :smile:

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