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I’m getting married but seeing someone!

I’m getting married soon in July in my home country to a guy I don’t want to.

It was my parents choice and I had no say in it’ everything is now planned and basically I can’t back out otherwise they will most likely abandon me, I don’t have a problem getting married as long as I don’t have to face him and I’m this case I won’t as he will be living in a different country to me...

My problem is I’m seeing a guy who’ve I been with for almost 2yrs and I can’t move on ..

He’s now told me to stop ! He’s told me to stop seeing him and focus on my life ahead he’s also said for long will this carry on for, he won’t marry me nor do I have a future with him so I should stop...

Today he said something which really hurt me,
He said I should stop now otherwise it’ll almost be like he’s using me for his own pleasure if it carries on even after I’m married...

I can’t believe he’d say something like that ...

I guess he’s saying it for my benefit but it just hurts me so much!

I feel so incredibly weak to let him go I feel low and absolutely crap!

I’m getting forced to marry someone I have no interest in then the guy I once loved tells me carry on like this and I’ll most likely just use you!

Why is this world so horrible... and why do the ones u love most hurt you?!

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Umm, "forced"? Do you live in the UK? Isn't that illegal?
Reply 2
Avatar for Anonymous #1
Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by Lilligant22
Umm, "forced"? Do you live in the UK? Isn't that illegal?


Yh it is i guess but I’m getting married in the uk
you know youre gonna end up living with your husband at some point, right?
Original post by Anonymous
Yh it is i guess but I’m getting married in the uk

You should not be forced to do this, even if it is normal for your culture or whatever. If you truly, absolutely, do not want to do this, contact someone. This is a permanent thing, and you have the power now to change the future.
Original post by Anonymous
Yh it is i guess but I’m getting married in the uk

omg, so so sorry you have to go through this - are you able to support yourself and do you want to try and move in with your partner if he wants to ? - discuss this with him face to face - dont feel that these two men are youre only options though....

even going abroad for a forced marriage is 100% illegal - please try calling the below and seek help if you feel trapped - you are not alone

this maybe a good point of contact:
Forced Marriage Unit
[email protected]
Telephone: 020 7008 0151
From overseas: +44 (0)20 7008 0151
Monday to Friday, 9am to 5pm
Out of hours: 020 7008 1500 (ask for the Global Response Centre)

https://www.gov.uk/stop-forced-marriage
(edited 5 years ago)
Reply 6
Avatar for Anonymous #1
Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by BlueIndigoViolet
omg, so so sorry you have to go through this - are you able to support yourself and do you want to try and move in with your partner if he wants to ? - discuss this with him face to face - dont feel that these two men are youre only options though....

even going abroad for a forced marriage is 100% illegal - please try calling the below and seek help if you feel trapped - you are not alone

this maybe a good point of contact:
Forced Marriage Unit
[email protected]
Telephone: 020 7008 0151
From overseas: +44 (0)20 7008 0151
Monday to Friday, 9am to 5pm
Out of hours: 020 7008 1500 (ask for the Global Response Centre)

https://www.gov.uk/stop-forced-marriage


Awww thank you hun and the thing is if I say no now I’ll loose my family and the thought of that just kills me and I could move in with my partner but I don’t think he’d want that nor would I feel comfortable living with him....

My life is so messed rn I don’t even know what to do :frown:
Original post by Anonymous
Awww thank you hun and the thing is if I say no now I’ll loose my family and the thought of that just kills me and I could move in with my partner but I don’t think he’d want that nor would I feel comfortable living with him....

My life is so messed rn I don’t even know what to do :frown:

understand - no one want to be estranged from their family, this may sound stupid based on how strict your family is - but it may be worth sitting your parents down and explain you hate this marriage - but if they do force it on your head, maybe agree to find someone together who you and them approve? cant begin to understand what you're feeling, but 100% sympathise with your current situation

even if you dont want to take action/reveal your identity -its good to contact someone to get this weight off your shoulde and explain your situation....
(edited 5 years ago)
Reply 8
Avatar for ANM775
ANM775
20
Original post by Anonymous
Awww thank you hun and the thing is if I say no now I’ll loose my family and the thought of that just kills me and I could move in with my partner but I don’t think he’d want that nor would I feel comfortable living with him....

My life is so messed rn I don’t even know what to do :frown:



They're treating you like they own you.
You're better off without your "family" imo if they would force you to get married to someone you don't want to.
Reply 9
Avatar for Anonymous #1
Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by ANM775
They're treating you like they own you.
You're better off without your "family" imo if they would force you to get married to someone you don't want to.


Where do I go?! I have no where to go no one to go to... the guy I loved tells me he’s pretty much using me so.. I’m helpless atm
Original post by BlueIndigoViolet
understand - no one want to be estranged from their family, this may sound stupid based on how strict your family is - but it may be worth sitting your parents down and explain you hate this marriage - but if they do force it on your head, maybe agree to find someone together who you and them approve? cant begin to understand what you're feeling, but 100% sympathise with your current situation

even if you dont want to take action/reveal your identity -its good to contact someone to get this weight off your shoulde and explain your situation....


Who I contact?
Original post by Anonymous
Yh it is i guess but I’m getting married in the uk

Sorry bit confused, you live in the UK and he's coming here for the marriage, or you live elsewhere (not in the UK) and will be coming to the UK for the marriage where the guy is?
I’d rather lose my family than be married off to a guy without my consent
Original post by Anonymous
Awww thank you hun and the thing is if I say no now I’ll loose my family and the thought of that just kills me and I could move in with my partner but I don’t think he’d want that nor would I feel comfortable living with him....

My life is so messed rn I don’t even know what to do :frown:

You should at least call the helpline as you are being fored into a marriage and they can give you better advice than Student Room can.
Bump
Do what you want to do. It's your life.
Original post by BenChen10
Do what you want to do. It's your life.


You say that but it’s not that easy mate...

I can’t just leave everything and do what I want I’ll looose ever thing I have
Wow. This world is full of imbeciles. You certainly have no right to be force into marriage.
Reply 18
Avatar for Jedjety
Jedjety
What?
If my family tried to force me to marry someone I don't want to marry, I would disown them before they could think to disown me.

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