Is this bullying or am I just being too sensitive?
I’m in year 9. There’s a girl in my class called Avia. Avia is friends with everybody and likes everybody except me. Here are some of the things she does to me.
-
Constantly gives me dirty looks
Kicks my feet when I’m in front of her (she hates being behind me. Not sure why.)
Puts pencil shavings in my pencil case to try and make my things dirty
Tries to take friends away from me
In Science I used to sit next to her, and she would always say my work was incorrect, and she’d accuse me of cheating, even though she was the one who cheated.
Looking at me, then looking at her gang of friends and laughing.
Giving me fake compliments
Trying to make me do things I don’t want to do
I’m sure there’s more, but the only problem is Avia is very smart, and I think she tries to compete with me. She’s not the type of person who seems like a bully at all, and it doesn’t help that she’s friends with literally everybody but me. Also, the teachers love her so even if I did tell somebody, would they even believe me? Also, is this even bullying?
-
Constantly gives me dirty looks
Kicks my feet when I’m in front of her (she hates being behind me. Not sure why.)
Puts pencil shavings in my pencil case to try and make my things dirty
Tries to take friends away from me
In Science I used to sit next to her, and she would always say my work was incorrect, and she’d accuse me of cheating, even though she was the one who cheated.
Looking at me, then looking at her gang of friends and laughing.
Giving me fake compliments
Trying to make me do things I don’t want to do
I’m sure there’s more, but the only problem is Avia is very smart, and I think she tries to compete with me. She’s not the type of person who seems like a bully at all, and it doesn’t help that she’s friends with literally everybody but me. Also, the teachers love her so even if I did tell somebody, would they even believe me? Also, is this even bullying?
Original post by plumtrees
I’m in year 9. There’s a girl in my class called Avia. Avia is friends with everybody and likes everybody except me. Here are some of the things she does to me.
-
Constantly gives me dirty looks
Kicks my feet when I’m in front of her (she hates being behind me. Not sure why.)
Puts pencil shavings in my pencil case to try and make my things dirty
Tries to take friends away from me
In Science I used to sit next to her, and she would always say my work was incorrect, and she’d accuse me of cheating, even though she was the one who cheated.
Looking at me, then looking at her gang of friends and laughing.
Giving me fake compliments
Trying to make me do things I don’t want to do
I’m sure there’s more, but the only problem is Avia is very smart, and I think she tries to compete with me. She’s not the type of person who seems like a bully at all, and it doesn’t help that she’s friends with literally everybody but me. Also, the teachers love her so even if I did tell somebody, would they even believe me? Also, is this even bullying?
-
Constantly gives me dirty looks
Kicks my feet when I’m in front of her (she hates being behind me. Not sure why.)
Puts pencil shavings in my pencil case to try and make my things dirty
Tries to take friends away from me
In Science I used to sit next to her, and she would always say my work was incorrect, and she’d accuse me of cheating, even though she was the one who cheated.
Looking at me, then looking at her gang of friends and laughing.
Giving me fake compliments
Trying to make me do things I don’t want to do
I’m sure there’s more, but the only problem is Avia is very smart, and I think she tries to compete with me. She’s not the type of person who seems like a bully at all, and it doesn’t help that she’s friends with literally everybody but me. Also, the teachers love her so even if I did tell somebody, would they even believe me? Also, is this even bullying?
Definitely tell someone, is there a form tutor you trust or student support team?? You may not think they'll believe you, but they'll take it seriously - students wellbeing should be their top priority, if they don't listen the first time keep going back.
It sounds like she's trying to alienate you and isolate you, which you might not think is the "typical bullying" but it will 100% make you more vulnerable.
Please tell an adult so it can be resolved now before it escalates - my private messages are always open if you wanted to discuss anything more privately
its bullying but in a subtle way
shes basically being a brat. shes probably jealous of you or just picking on you because she hates herself. i went to school with many brats like her. try to ignore it if you can. but if she goes too far then obviously tell someone or better yet warn her to stop it or you will beat her ass
shes basically being a brat. shes probably jealous of you or just picking on you because she hates herself. i went to school with many brats like her. try to ignore it if you can. but if she goes too far then obviously tell someone or better yet warn her to stop it or you will beat her ass
Original post by ddsizebra
she's not a bully but she is overbearing and it's possibly a personality clash or jealousy.
That’s what I thought tbh. It still pisses me off lol
Simply seems like a class A a**hole, not much you can do sadly.
threaten her
Original post by plumtrees
Update: She and three other people added me to a group chat and made fun of me for being white. (They’re all Indian btw, I’ve never made fun of their race)
I would report this but unfortunately double standards exist
are you a boy or a girl?
If your a boy - it sounds like she may be into you.
If your a girl - then it sounds really *****, and exactly the relationship-based methods that girls used to pick on other girls.
If your a boy - tease her back, and go with it...
if your a girl - decide between two options. Either A, you stand up to her... or B, you retreat back and get help from teachers/staff etc. Both can work, or fail.. you just need to pick which one you are more comfortable with, and which one you think she would react best too. Sometimes standing up just a little bit to people is enough to get them to back off.. other times it makes them want to attack you further. Sometimes a bit of threat from teachers will get someone stop.. other times it will antagonise them more. Just think carefully, get some good advice from your family, and see what aproach works best.
If your a boy - it sounds like she may be into you.
If your a girl - then it sounds really *****, and exactly the relationship-based methods that girls used to pick on other girls.
If your a boy - tease her back, and go with it...
if your a girl - decide between two options. Either A, you stand up to her... or B, you retreat back and get help from teachers/staff etc. Both can work, or fail.. you just need to pick which one you are more comfortable with, and which one you think she would react best too. Sometimes standing up just a little bit to people is enough to get them to back off.. other times it makes them want to attack you further. Sometimes a bit of threat from teachers will get someone stop.. other times it will antagonise them more. Just think carefully, get some good advice from your family, and see what aproach works best.
Screenshot the messages. I did this when this happened to me and they took it a lot more seriously as I had evidence.
Original post by plumtrees
I’m in year 9. There’s a girl in my class called Avia. Avia is friends with everybody and likes everybody except me. Here are some of the things she does to me.
-
Constantly gives me dirty looks
Kicks my feet when I’m in front of her (she hates being behind me. Not sure why.)
Puts pencil shavings in my pencil case to try and make my things dirty
Tries to take friends away from me
In Science I used to sit next to her, and she would always say my work was incorrect, and she’d accuse me of cheating, even though she was the one who cheated.
Looking at me, then looking at her gang of friends and laughing.
Giving me fake compliments
Trying to make me do things I don’t want to do
I’m sure there’s more, but the only problem is Avia is very smart, and I think she tries to compete with me. She’s not the type of person who seems like a bully at all, and it doesn’t help that she’s friends with literally everybody but me. Also, the teachers love her so even if I did tell somebody, would they even believe me? Also, is this even bullying?
-
Constantly gives me dirty looks
Kicks my feet when I’m in front of her (she hates being behind me. Not sure why.)
Puts pencil shavings in my pencil case to try and make my things dirty
Tries to take friends away from me
In Science I used to sit next to her, and she would always say my work was incorrect, and she’d accuse me of cheating, even though she was the one who cheated.
Looking at me, then looking at her gang of friends and laughing.
Giving me fake compliments
Trying to make me do things I don’t want to do
I’m sure there’s more, but the only problem is Avia is very smart, and I think she tries to compete with me. She’s not the type of person who seems like a bully at all, and it doesn’t help that she’s friends with literally everybody but me. Also, the teachers love her so even if I did tell somebody, would they even believe me? Also, is this even bullying?
Okay. So. She touches your property to damage it in a certain way, that's anti-social behaviour.
KICKS you when she stands behind you? Woah this student has issues!
Does your school have police officers? Firstly, keep a detailed record of all the things she does, check for the school cameras (evidence), during breaks, if you have your phone out and she harasses you or somewhat kicks you or whatever, say "go away, you have no right to act in such an uncivilised manner", if she does not go away or gets worse, that is harassment/ bullying (you may keep your mum or friend on the phone to witness the scenario if your school allow you to make calls or whatever).
She is over the age of 10 years old, so she may need to defend herself if charged with violent offences, a nuisance to your education, harassment etc.
Disclaimer: I am NOT a lawyer and I am only sharing my personal suggestions, I am not giving official advice, so these are not better than yours by any means. See a qualified lawyer or counsellor for specific assistance.
Original post by Anonymous
Okay. So. She touches your property to damage it in a certain way, that's anti-social behaviour.
KICKS you when she stands behind you? Woah this student has issues!
Does your school have police officers? Firstly, keep a detailed record of all the things she does, check for the school cameras (evidence), during breaks, if you have your phone out and she harasses you or somewhat kicks you or whatever, say "go away, you have no right to act in such an uncivilised manner", if she does not go away or gets worse, that is harassment/ bullying (you may keep your mum or friend on the phone to witness the scenario if your school allow you to make calls or whatever).
She is over the age of 10 years old, so she may need to defend herself if charged with violent offences, a nuisance to your education, harassment etc.
Disclaimer: I am NOT a lawyer and I am only sharing my personal suggestions, I am not giving official advice, so these are not better than yours by any means. See a qualified lawyer or counsellor for specific assistance.
KICKS you when she stands behind you? Woah this student has issues!
Does your school have police officers? Firstly, keep a detailed record of all the things she does, check for the school cameras (evidence), during breaks, if you have your phone out and she harasses you or somewhat kicks you or whatever, say "go away, you have no right to act in such an uncivilised manner", if she does not go away or gets worse, that is harassment/ bullying (you may keep your mum or friend on the phone to witness the scenario if your school allow you to make calls or whatever).
She is over the age of 10 years old, so she may need to defend herself if charged with violent offences, a nuisance to your education, harassment etc.
Disclaimer: I am NOT a lawyer and I am only sharing my personal suggestions, I am not giving official advice, so these are not better than yours by any means. See a qualified lawyer or counsellor for specific assistance.
She's not going to be charged with anything, it's nowhere near serious enough to get the police involved
Original post by bones-mccoy
She's not going to be charged with anything, it's nowhere near serious enough to get the police involved
That would be for the police or lawyer to judge. This can either be a civil nuisance or negligence matter or criminal (the kicking and aggression/ potential harassment used). The point is, if the school does not protect her through certain state regulations within a reasonable timeframe, she has the right to escalate the matter via legal action (public law). A teenager kicking a teenager and vandalising her property frequently is not a matter of it being serious or not, it is a matter of judicial interpretation, the harmful acts are there. Imagine if an adult kicks an adult and takes their property at work, do you really think there will not be any legal consequences? The juvenile courts do hear cases similar to this one. I assure you. This girl has the rights to education and rights to feel safe in school. There are agencies out there that help bullied students escalate the matter with or without the school, however, they initially have meetings with the school deputy headteacher.
(edited 4 years ago)
Original post by OceaniaLight
That would be for the police or lawyer to judge. This can either be a civil nuisance or negligence matter or criminal (the kicking and aggression/ potential harassment used). The point is, if the school does not protect her through certain state regulations within a reasonable timeframe, she has the right to escalate the matter via legal action (public law). A teenager kicking a teenager and vandalising her property frequently is not a matter of it being serious or not, it is a matter of judicial interpretation, the harmful acts are there. Imagine if an adult kicks an adult and takes their property at work, do you really think there will not be any legal consequences? The juvenile courts do hear cases similar to this one. I assure you. This girl has the rights to education and rights to feel safe in school. There are agencies out there that help bullied students escalate the matter with or without the school, however, they initially have meetings with the school deputy headteacher.
I'm sure they do but realistically the school will most likely just sort it out within themselves
I hope so. I have tutored in some schools (will not specify), and I did report to the headteacher some incidents I witnessed. The situation did not really change at all, after a couple of months, the bullies continued, the victim just stopped reporting because the bullies probably felt there weren't enough solid consequences. The actions the bullies did, would by the book, most likely get them excluded, however, they were not excluded, (the bullies were in top set classes). Hence why I mentioned the external mechanisms as a quicker solution. Victim's safety from bullying cannot wait, this student needs to learn in a healthy and bully-free environment. If the victim does not insist on getting help or support, some
Original post by plumtrees
I’m in year 9. There’s a girl in my class called Avia. Avia is friends with everybody and likes everybody except me. Here are some of the things she does to me.
-
Constantly gives me dirty looks
Kicks my feet when I’m in front of her (she hates being behind me. Not sure why.)
Puts pencil shavings in my pencil case to try and make my things dirty
Tries to take friends away from me
In Science I used to sit next to her, and she would always say my work was incorrect, and she’d accuse me of cheating, even though she was the one who cheated.
Looking at me, then looking at her gang of friends and laughing.
Giving me fake compliments
Trying to make me do things I don’t want to do
I’m sure there’s more, but the only problem is Avia is very smart, and I think she tries to compete with me. She’s not the type of person who seems like a bully at all, and it doesn’t help that she’s friends with literally everybody but me. Also, the teachers love her so even if I did tell somebody, would they even believe me? Also, is this even bullying?
-
Constantly gives me dirty looks
Kicks my feet when I’m in front of her (she hates being behind me. Not sure why.)
Puts pencil shavings in my pencil case to try and make my things dirty
Tries to take friends away from me
In Science I used to sit next to her, and she would always say my work was incorrect, and she’d accuse me of cheating, even though she was the one who cheated.
Looking at me, then looking at her gang of friends and laughing.
Giving me fake compliments
Trying to make me do things I don’t want to do
I’m sure there’s more, but the only problem is Avia is very smart, and I think she tries to compete with me. She’s not the type of person who seems like a bully at all, and it doesn’t help that she’s friends with literally everybody but me. Also, the teachers love her so even if I did tell somebody, would they even believe me? Also, is this even bullying?
Hey,
I think it's quite courageous you are being really vulnerable and reaching out for support. First of all, I think this is bullying. There's nothing wrong with being sensitive, but this is an unfortunate situation of someone trying to violate your rights to self esteem, respect and dignity. You can talk to her politely in private away from her 'group' (which probably gives her an incentive to be the centre of attention by putting someone else down) and say you don't appreciate what she's doing and that you want her to stop. Either of the following two will happen; she will stop or she won't. Hopefully she will. If she doesn't you can always tell the teacher, even anonymously. She or He may keep an eye on what's going on in class. Alternatively, you can be present where there are cameras or where there's a teacher. If she does get in trouble, you won't look like a 'snitch' as the teacher or the person who is viewing the camera can always say they saw Avia causing trouble. I want to also let you know that there's nothing wrong with you. Nothing. There's something wrong with her and she needs to sort her stuff out. Hope this helped
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