need advice - kissed a guy for a bet

I'm not doubting that the cultural stuff is true.

It's an awful lot of effort to learn basic Norwegian and Scottish dialect just for the sake of making up a story, so it doesn't seem likely that he's making it up.

As I say - I'm not doubting the fact the OP has lived in Norway and Scotland. The relationship seems like a story, on the pther hand.

Your mum sounds like a good shout I feel, but on the friends front, could you look at joining any new clubs in the area and starting afresh?

I honestly want to give you a hug and tell you it'll be okay, cause it will x

I think talking to your mum may be a good option now, since she would have a good idea of your boyfriend's personality, and it's also very likely that she would have gone through something similar when she was younger.

I might have the minority opnion here, but I think you could consider giving him a second chance. He explained his ill-advised actions, showed regret and seems to have apologised. It also sounds like you really want things to continue between you, and we readers are rooting for you guys too! It'll be difficult to trust him fully again, so don't pressure yourself to do so if you can't. However, if he repeats his actions that would create serious doubts and would be a grave betrayal of your trust.

Your penultimate post wondering whether it's easier to just break up was kinda sad, because you two seemed to get so well before this pickle. Wishing you guys all the best.

Why do I get the impression this thread was written by a teenage girl with a good imagination?

Alright so I was at this pretty big party last night and was just joking around with some of my mates about sexuality n stuff. One of them then said that I'm apparently so scared of not being straight that I wouldn't kiss a guy for twenty quid. I, slightly drunk and incredibly skint, decided to prove him wrong.

So I approached this bloke who's pretty good looking and openly bisexual. Talked/flirted for a bit then snogged him. Dashed off with a lame excuse and got my money.

But now he's sent me a message on facebook, saying that he had a good time last night and asking me to meet up for coffee. I could've seen this coming honestly because we had a nice chat (and also a pretty nice kiss) and I'm just not sure what to do? I feel a bit bad about "using" him like this, so what should I say?

So I spoke to my mum and she said I should break up with him. On one hand she was like "well everyone makes mistake, especially at your age, he's a lovely guy and he's had a good influence on you" etc, and then on the other hand she was like "he shouldn't have hurt you, it hurts me to see that, you deserve better" etc. So that didn't really help because I'd thought of those things myself haha.
She said that if I continue going out with him it might be good at first, but he might eventually do something similar. She also brought up how we're gonna go to different unis after the summer and pointed out that most relationships won't make it through that, and that knowing both me and my boyfriend and what happened she doesn't think we'll be the exception. So that's why she advised me to end it now, before things potentially get real ugly.

I definitely get her point but I'm not sure if I'll follow her advice lol. Think I'm secretly still hoping that all this will pass, we'll make the long distance thing work, and we can move in together after uni... I know that it probably won't work out but deep down there's still some faith left I guess.

What should I do?

So I spoke to my mum and she said I should break up with him. On one hand she was like "well everyone makes mistake, especially at your age, he's a lovely guy and he's had a good influence on you" etc, and then on the other hand she was like "he shouldn't have hurt you, it hurts me to see that, you deserve better" etc. So that didn't really help because I'd thought of those things myself haha.
She said that if I continue going out with him it might be good at first, but he might eventually do something similar. She also brought up how we're gonna go to different unis after the summer and pointed out that most relationships won't make it through that, and that knowing both me and my boyfriend and what happened she doesn't think we'll be the exception. So that's why she advised me to end it now, before things potentially get real ugly.

I definitely get her point but I'm not sure if I'll follow her advice lol. Think I'm secretly still hoping that all this will pass, we'll make the long distance thing work, and we can move in together after uni... I know that it probably won't work out but deep down there's still some faith left I guess.

What should I do?

I loathe to admit it but she has a point. Long distance almost never seems to work and with his recent actions it looks unlikely he will stay true to you for that length if time.

I hope you end up being happy with whatever happens, it is a difficult situation that I can’t imagine dealing with.

Mama Anon (cause I don't know your username) makes very valid points imo

i get where your mums coming from but maybe he wont do it again!! you could just stay together, see how it goes, and then break up with him before going to uni

Yeah, you guys are right, she's right. I don't want to end things but maybe it's the best way out. I feel like he'd get it, and we could still be friends (if I can handle that, it's probably gonna suck hanging out with him as just mates)


I considered that, but it seems weird to me to be with someone knowing you're gonna break up with them in x amount of time.

I just want to give you a big hug right now

What you're going through absolutely sucks balls, especially when they've been your first serious partner. But it will be okay. What he's done isn't right and I now I seem like I'm playing the pragmatic *****, but I just want you to be okay <3

Aww thank you so much, you're so sweet xx

I'm gonna break up with him today.

It’s probably best, but this thread had been great to be part of and it seems like the relationship has helped you grow as a person so at least it has been good for you and provided you with a great experience. Even the breakup might help you in the future, always a silver lining to make things a bit better.

Okay, well, this is it, I guess.

He took it very well. He wasn't happy, obviously, but he didn't get angry or make me feel bad about it whatsoever. I explained to him the things that my mum and you guys have said to me and he simply said he understood. He seemed quite upset with himself for messing it up but I told him not to beat himself up over it too much - hope he sticks to that.

He said that he still cared about me a lot despite everything and that I can always come to him if I need it, so I told him the same. With that we agreed to remain good friends, which is so good because he's my best friend I think lol. We kissed one final time - gonna keep our distance physically from now on. Not sure how we'll do that yet, as I still feel very much attracted to him, but I hope that'll fade over time and we can just be close friends

After all this we talked about the past eight months for a while. He remarked it was like a funeral - remembering our relationship and its highs and lows while both crying a little lol. The funny thing is I felt closer to him today than I've felt in over a month, which makes me think this was the right decision. I actually feel surprisingly good right now, it obviously hurts but it's okay, in a way.

So I guess this is gonna be the end of this thread (although I feel like I've said that like five times already but whatever), but thanks to all of you who've been helping me over the course of it. I've said this many times before but it really does mean a lot to me and I don't think I could've made it without you all!

Oh, my dad's pretty chuffed. He's gone back to being convinced this was a phase and I won't be attracted to a guy ever again lol. Imagine your son going through a pretty rough breakup with his boyfriend of 8 months and the first thing you think is "Hell yeah, maybe he'll stop being gay!!" I feel tempted to go and sleep around for a bit just to see the look on my dad's face as yet another guy walks through our house on a saturday morning. I probably won't though, I'm just a bit annoyed with him haha.

Firstly, break ups suck generally. I'm so proud of how much you've grown as a person in the last 8 months though!

Whatever happpens, keep that growth going and look after yourself. Chase after your dreams. Your world is your osyter, never forget that.

And thank you for letting us into your life, keeping us updated and just being a great person on the whole

Take care x

(P.s. your dad is still a ****!)

Thank you so much, that's so kind of you to say

I was reading this thread last night and wow 8-months-ago me makes me cringe lol. I feel like I've definitely become a better person since then I'm still not sure where I'm going in life and what my sexuality is and who I am in general but maybe that's okay... 'to define is to limit', as my ex (that sounds so negative though!) would say.

Anyway, you take care as well, again thanks for all the support xx