The Student Room Group

I don't want an eating disorder

(POSSIBLE TRIGGER WARNING)

Hi

I struggle with anxiety, depression and self harm and this makes life, and especially school work and revision, really hard. I've noticed a change in my attitude towards eating and food - I changed my diet with the intentions of becoming more healthy but I'm a month in and can see how now I am solely focused on losing weight and almost becoming obsessive over how I look, what I eat and whether I'll get fat from it. Deep down I know I am not fat but everything else in my head is telling me I am and I'm scared it'll develop into an eating disorder. I understand that anorexia and bulimia are very complex things and I in no way mean this to be offensive or insult anyone. Can anyone help? My revision is really falling behind and it's adding unnecessary stress to my life and I'm in a bad way.
Original post by maniccrammer
(POSSIBLE TRIGGER WARNING)

Hi

I struggle with anxiety, depression and self harm and this makes life, and especially school work and revision, really hard. I've noticed a change in my attitude towards eating and food - I changed my diet with the intentions of becoming more healthy but I'm a month in and can see how now I am solely focused on losing weight and almost becoming obsessive over how I look, what I eat and whether I'll get fat from it. Deep down I know I am not fat but everything else in my head is telling me I am and I'm scared it'll develop into an eating disorder. I understand that anorexia and bulimia are very complex things and I in no way mean this to be offensive or insult anyone. Can anyone help? My revision is really falling behind and it's adding unnecessary stress to my life and I'm in a bad way.

How old are you/what year are you in? Similar thing happened to me in Year 10, I'm now in Year 13 and have been through multiple eating disorders (and also depression, self harm, anxiety). My best advice would be to tell someone now. It's not an eating disorder yet, so nothing drastic will happen, it can be a friend, teacher you get on with, parent, sibling, whatever, as long as they're gonna stick around. It's good that you're aware of it, it means you're not in too deep and you're not in so deep that you don't want to get better. Just tell someone that you're a bit worried and need to be careful because you're getting a little too obsessed/invested with your healthy eating. Let them know it's not an eating disorder, just that you're being careful as you obviously don't want to develop one, and ask them to just let you know if they see you do anything a little out of the ordinary with food. It's not a big deal yet, don't let it become one. It's a very long, exhausting, difficult road that you most certainly don't want to go down. People told me that and I ignored it, because I believed my weight was worth more. It's not, it never is, and really people don't give a sh*t about your weight unless it is causing medical problems. Some guys like women thin, some like them curvy, most don't care. Some people look better at a higher weight, but every person can look good at all healthy weights. I've learnt that even at my lowest weight I was the most unhappy, alone and unsuccessful because my life revolved around my weight, and my insecurity gvae out negative vibes. Confidence is so much more attractive than a flat stomach. xx
Original post by Anonymous
How old are you/what year are you in? Similar thing happened to me in Year 10, I'm now in Year 13 and have been through multiple eating disorders (and also depression, self harm, anxiety). My best advice would be to tell someone now. It's not an eating disorder yet, so nothing drastic will happen, it can be a friend, teacher you get on with, parent, sibling, whatever, as long as they're gonna stick around. It's good that you're aware of it, it means you're not in too deep and you're not in so deep that you don't want to get better. Just tell someone that you're a bit worried and need to be careful because you're getting a little too obsessed/invested with your healthy eating. Let them know it's not an eating disorder, just that you're being careful as you obviously don't want to develop one, and ask them to just let you know if they see you do anything a little out of the ordinary with food. It's not a big deal yet, don't let it become one. It's a very long, exhausting, difficult road that you most certainly don't want to go down. People told me that and I ignored it, because I believed my weight was worth more. It's not, it never is, and really people don't give a sh*t about your weight unless it is causing medical problems. Some guys like women thin, some like them curvy, most don't care. Some people look better at a higher weight, but every person can look good at all healthy weights. I've learnt that even at my lowest weight I was the most unhappy, alone and unsuccessful because my life revolved around my weight, and my insecurity gvae out negative vibes. Confidence is so much more attractive than a flat stomach. xx

I'm 15 and in Year 11. I spoke to my best friend and the school counsellor today and now I have to have a conversation with the safeguarding team but as you said nothing drastic will happen. I appreciate the reassurance, it means a lot to hear that from someone who can understand. Thank you. x

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