The Student Room Group

Boyfriend becoming long haul cabin crew

What would you do

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Reply 1
(Original post by karl pilkington)I you worried that he is gay or that you won't see him?
That I won’t see him and the majority of who he will work with will be female and he’ll have to stay in hotels with them and spend more time with them than me
Original post by hannahh2005
(Original post by karl pilkington)I you worried that he is gay or that you won't see him?
That I won’t see him and the majority of who he will work with will be female and he’ll have to stay in hotels with them and spend more time with them than me

How old are you both?
Reply 3
Original post by GreenG2019
How old are you both?

I’m 19, he is 24
Original post by hannahh2005
I’m 19, he is 24

Right I see - the problem you ultimately have is, you can’t try and dissuade him or guilt him into not doing it if it’s his dream (not that I’m saying you are doing that, just in case you wonder) so really, you just have to trust him that he wouldn’t do anything with the girls - I will say, it doesn’t sound like you trust him which is why you’ve asked people on here maybe?
I would've thought a professional attitude is what keeps cabin crew in their jobs, so i don't think you have any real need to be scared :smile: he'd be fired the moment he makes out, and I'm sure he wouldn't want to endure the shame of telling you he's fired :wink:
Reply 6
(Original post by hannahh2005)
That I won’t see him and the majority of who he will work with will be female and he’ll have to stay in hotels with them and spend more time with them than me


So this is more of a trust issue. What makes you think he'll do something with his coworkers?
Reply 7
Original post by UWS
So this is more of a trust issue. What makes you think he'll do something with his coworkers?

We’ve been together almost a year but before meeting me he used to sleep around a lot, and has text girls behind my back before, he also has a very flirty personality
Reply 8
Original post by hello_shawn
I would've thought a professional attitude is what keeps cabin crew in their jobs, so i don't think you have any real need to be scared :smile: he'd be fired the moment he makes out, and I'm sure he wouldn't want to endure the shame of telling you he's fired :wink:

I’d like to think you’re right, but with him barely ever being home I don’t feel he’ll get as much attention as he wants, and with not many straight guys in the industry at all, surely the girls will be all over him cause they have no other option
Original post by hannahh2005
I’d like to think you’re right, but with him barely ever being home I don’t feel he’ll get as much attention as he wants, and with not many straight guys in the industry at all, surely the girls will be all over him cause they have no other option

So, flipping this a bit, what’s stopping you cheating on him when he’s not around?
Original post by hannahh2005
I’d like to think you’re right, but with him barely ever being home I don’t feel he’ll get as much attention as he wants, and with not many straight guys in the industry at all, surely the girls will be all over him cause they have no other option

I'm sure the female attendants are expected to be fully professional too, if anything they have to deal with advances from male customers more often than from male colleagues. It would be great if someone with cabin crew experience came on this thread to advise you because I have no idea what a typical cabin crew shift is like, especially in long haul travel
Original post by hello_shawn
I'm sure the female attendants are expected to be fully professional too, if anything they have to deal with advances from male customers more often than from male colleagues. It would be great if someone with cabin crew experience came on this thread to advise you because I have no idea what a typical cabin crew shift is like, especially in long haul travel

I’ve been longing to find a girl who’s been out in my situation, I think reading threads online hasn’t helped as such, cause all I’ve seen is that a lot goes on between crew when they’re away, but they keep it to themselves
Original post by GreenG2019
So, flipping this a bit, what’s stopping you cheating on him when he’s not around?

I mean technically nothing, but as far as I’m aware he fully trusts me as I’ve never given him a reason not to, and I don’t think I could bring myself to do such a thing if I love someone
Original post by hannahh2005
I mean technically nothing, but as far as I’m aware he fully trusts me as I’ve never given him a reason not to

Has he ever given you a reason not to trust him?
(edited 5 years ago)
Original post by Drewski
Has he ever given you a reason not to trust him?

Exactly this. I think the OP is over thinking the job. How I see it is, if someone is likely to cheat, they’re going to do it regardless. It doesn’t matter if they’re away from home, working from home or working in a office.

If he’s given you reasons to not trust him since you’ve been together, then your ultimately have to talk it through with him. The reality is, it’s hard at best to impossible to be in a relationship with someone you don’t trust, it causes issues and friction in the end.
Original post by GreenG2019
Exactly this. I think the OP is over thinking the job. How I see it is, if someone is likely to cheat, they’re going to do it regardless. It doesn’t matter if they’re away from home, working from home or working in a office.

If he’s given you reasons to not trust him since you’ve been together, then your ultimately have to talk it through with him. The reality is, it’s hard at best to impossible to be in a relationship with someone you don’t trust, it causes issues and friction in the end.

What I’m really wanting to know is would you stay with a partner who is doing this as a career, cause even if the trust is there, we will barely see eachother
I have a relative who is long haul cabin crew for BA. He gets more time at home than with a regular job. At least 9 days off a month. It isn't true that you will barely see him.
Original post by hannahh2005
What I’m really wanting to know is would you stay with a partner who is doing this as a career, cause even if the trust is there, we will barely see eachother

So the question really is, do you think it will bother you and do you think you can do this? I get the impression that It already sounds like you have your doubts unless I’ve understood wrongly?
Original post by jacketpotato
I have a relative who is long haul cabin crew for BA. He gets more time at home than with a regular job. At least 9 days off a month. It isn't true that you will barely see him.

But is it difficult keeping in contact with the different time zones? Is there much standby time or for the remainder of the month are they normally always abroad?
Original post by hannahh2005
But is it difficult keeping in contact with the different time zones? Is there much standby time or for the remainder of the month are they normally always abroad?

The 9 days leave is all in the UK. To be honest it feels more than that.

The model basically seems to be that they fly somewhere exotic, stay there overnight or perhaps for a day, then fly back. They don't tend to spend a lot of time abroad.

I think cabin crew get more time off than a regular job. Though like many jobs I guess those days will vary, so it could be weekdays off or could be weekend.

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