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I think I have depression but my family doesn’t believe me
Hii I’m a 15 year old girl from London and I’m in year 11 I have a Muslim background and my parents are pretty religious. I think I first realised something was wrong with me when I found that I was sad for no freaking reason and I’d cry at night when no one was with me everyday non stop I’d even cry myself to sleep and I had no idea why.
I’d be emotionless and not smile and laugh for weeks it’s like there was always a rain cloud above my head. I’d push people away and blame myself for everything. I couldn’t get away from the negativity it followed me everywhere.
It’s usually on and off I’d have my good days and my bad days. When I started feeling like this I thought it was just from my stress of the mocks. But even months after mocks I’d still feel like this. But I brushed it away thinking it’s just because of im maturing. But no it happened everyday and I’d get sleep paralysis over and over again. I’d cry at night and smile in the morning. Pretending like nothing is wrong that I was okay. But I was sad.
I tried talking to my mum but I can’t talk without breaking down without blaming myself without thinking bad about myself. She ended up telling me that it’s all in my head and that the devil is playing with my head. I brushed it of once again. I was getting into problems in school shouting at people for no reason id get angry at my friends push them away not speak to them, ignore them. I hated everyone and I knew everyone hated me too. Even my own mum was hard to talk to without her telling my siblings. I was stuck and I was okay with it. I’d didn’t even love me I started to despise myself I still do. I’m not much I’m not special.
My grades started going down but I still managed to show others I was happy without them suspecting a thing. I’m glad no one knows.
It’s my problem and I can fix it. No one else’s.
At this point I had given up on religion and school
I’m tired and I give up
I’d be emotionless and not smile and laugh for weeks it’s like there was always a rain cloud above my head. I’d push people away and blame myself for everything. I couldn’t get away from the negativity it followed me everywhere.
It’s usually on and off I’d have my good days and my bad days. When I started feeling like this I thought it was just from my stress of the mocks. But even months after mocks I’d still feel like this. But I brushed it away thinking it’s just because of im maturing. But no it happened everyday and I’d get sleep paralysis over and over again. I’d cry at night and smile in the morning. Pretending like nothing is wrong that I was okay. But I was sad.
I tried talking to my mum but I can’t talk without breaking down without blaming myself without thinking bad about myself. She ended up telling me that it’s all in my head and that the devil is playing with my head. I brushed it of once again. I was getting into problems in school shouting at people for no reason id get angry at my friends push them away not speak to them, ignore them. I hated everyone and I knew everyone hated me too. Even my own mum was hard to talk to without her telling my siblings. I was stuck and I was okay with it. I’d didn’t even love me I started to despise myself I still do. I’m not much I’m not special.
My grades started going down but I still managed to show others I was happy without them suspecting a thing. I’m glad no one knows.
It’s my problem and I can fix it. No one else’s.
At this point I had given up on religion and school
I’m tired and I give up
(edited 5 years ago)
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I feel so sorry for you, but all in all, believe in yourself and please don’t hurt yourself. Try to smile a little more everyday. Bless you
dw, i feel exactly the same, like sometimes i feel soooo low and then other times i feel numb. i lost my mum in 2017 and havent felt the same since.
try going to talk to someone, or even through childline or something, idk
hope you feel better soon - and as my grandmother always used to say, 'it will all come out in the wash' xxx
try going to talk to someone, or even through childline or something, idk
hope you feel better soon - and as my grandmother always used to say, 'it will all come out in the wash' xxx
Original post by Dequarious
I feel so sorry for you, but all in all, believe in yourself and please don’t hurt yourself. Try to smile a little more everyday. Bless you
Thank you I’ll try my best
Original post by Anonymous
dw, i feel exactly the same, like sometimes i feel soooo low and then other times i feel numb. i lost my mum in 2017 and havent felt the same since.
try going to talk to someone, or even through childline or something, idk
hope you feel better soon - and as my grandmother always used to say, 'it will all come out in the wash' xxx
try going to talk to someone, or even through childline or something, idk
hope you feel better soon - and as my grandmother always used to say, 'it will all come out in the wash' xxx
Awh thank you x I’ve tried to talk to someone but I don’t trust anyone. Even if they are so called confidential I still feel worried ugh idk
Original post by Sxbrxna
Awh thank you x I’ve tried to talk to someone but I don’t trust anyone. Even if they are so called confidential I still feel worried ugh idk
Original post by Anonymous
dw, i feel exactly the same, like sometimes i feel soooo low and then other times i feel numb. i lost my mum in 2017 and havent felt the same since.
try going to talk to someone, or even through childline or something, idk
hope you feel better soon - and as my grandmother always used to say, 'it will all come out in the wash' xxx
try going to talk to someone, or even through childline or something, idk
hope you feel better soon - and as my grandmother always used to say, 'it will all come out in the wash' xxx
I’m also so so so sorry
Also, sometimes I just feel like everybody needs a “guardian” in their heads where he/she stands up for you at the worst moments. What I did was I drew what he/she would look like and all the good things about it. Then I will picture it in my mind and whenever I feel down, I remember that he/she will still be my back line and always have my back. This is just a way I counter bad times. Hope it helps
Original post by Dequarious
Also, sometimes I just feel like everybody needs a “guardian” in their heads where he/she stands up for you at the worst moments. What I did was I drew what he/she would look like and all the good things about it. Then I will picture it in my mind and whenever I feel down, I remember that he/she will still be my back line and always have my back. This is just a way I counter bad times. Hope it helps
I’ll draw my guardian tomorrow, I hope it helps as I’m starting to lose hope.
Just remember, you can do this!! I am here to listen to you at anytime. I have to go to school tomorrow, so I am just going to sleep now. I hope you have a good rest and get stronger tomorrow 💪💪
Original post by Dequarious
Just remember, you can do this!! I am here to listen to you at anytime. I have to go to school tomorrow, so I am just going to sleep now. I hope you have a good rest and get stronger tomorrow 💪💪
Thank youu x
Are you religious? As you said you are giving up on it
Original post by Dequarious
Are you religious? As you said you are giving up on it
I never have been very religious it’s been my parents who take religion seriously, but I’m starting to lose hope on religion as I have been praying and I’ve seen no improvement. I don’t know what to think anymore.
Do you have any social media? I would like to add you and talk to you at anytime. If you want
Original post by Nxfisax
Hi I’m in a similar position to you I’m also a Muslim girl who’s 16 and has felt the same way as you . I’m so sorry you feel like this pm maybe we can rant / chat to each other
Yeah I will I’m sorry you feel this way.
Original post by Nxfisax
I’ll message you on insta .
Okay x
Original post by Anonymous
dw, i feel exactly the same, like sometimes i feel soooo low and then other times i feel numb. i lost my mum in 2017 and havent felt the same since.
try going to talk to someone, or even through childline or something, idk
hope you feel better soon - and as my grandmother always used to say, 'it will all come out in the wash' xxx
try going to talk to someone, or even through childline or something, idk
hope you feel better soon - and as my grandmother always used to say, 'it will all come out in the wash' xxx
No it does not come out in the wash. The answer is to seek counselling support. Call Childlike confidentiality and ask them to help you to deal with problems. Speak to your school counsellor. Don't suffer in silence or fake it to get through - get support!
R u the photography account?
Original post by Sxbrxna
Yeah I will I’m sorry you feel this way.
Deaths in families, absent parents etc can leave a young person seriously depressed. The only way forward us to refuse to suffer in silence; call Childline, the Samaritans, see your Gp, your school nurse etc but do something to improve your life!
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