Cold Approach, Loneliness & Sex
A brief summary of my background:
I emerged from university with no social life. At the age of 23, during my final semester of university, I had a rude awakening when I passed by a seated girl in the library, felt drawn to her sexually, and ended up dithering for 3+ hours going back and forth in an attempt to reach her, but to no avail. I returned home almost every day feeling demoralised and dejected. Add to this, I was subjected to one of the worst financial difficulties that has been of detriment to my future; a matter of which I can never disclose. For the first time as an adult, I broke down uncontrollably in tears in the presence of my mother who lovingly tried her best to console a broken soul. It constituted an initiation into the long-term healing process. I had spent years since my late teens unconsciously coping in a massively depressive, negative, trauma-induced state that I had effectively numbed by means of porn, excessive masturbation, religion, dense research on the monetary system and philosophical discussion online. Basically a hodgepodge of crutches on which I leaned in order to arrest the freefall into the deep pit of realisation that I was actively sabotaging myself. Once awoken, I took drastic measures to violently pull myself out of the mental imprisonment that had been symptomatic of my emotional block for so long. For example, one day I barged into my lecture theatre, pulled out Snapchat, and filmed myself badly singing the opening theme of Lion King out loud, in front of all the students and a momentarily disturbed professor, and basked in the ugly pressure of the moment. Albeit an eccentric move, the aim was to strengthen the cringe-resistance of my brain in a situation deliberately designed to be cringeworthy, and to ultimately prove on a mental level that reality is of my own making. For while my inner demons lay in besiege, the raging fire in my belly desired to burn away every element that engendered psychological repression so as to bring forth my true essence.
At the start of 2018 I noticed a gentle paradigm shift occurring right under my nose; an exciting change bubbling beneath the surface that would radically alter my state of affairs for the better. The work I had put in to assess and challenge the misalignment of mind and body to reset my energy field had begun to bear fruit. It felt like I had unlocked from a matrix of illusion and stepped into a playground of pure potential in which I am at the cause, not the effect. For the first time in my life I felt truly alive.
On March 14th I found myself running down a beautifully paved, open and vacant street toward a girl who was on her way to a university campus close by. I had recently landed a job in the heart of the city and had no intention of foregoing the opportunity to finally conquer an irrational fear no matter how resistent my body. The force within was driven by primal adrenaline. I performed my first approach meekly with a direct compliment and it turned out as I had logically anticipated: a normal human exchange that ended with a swift, “sorry, I’m taken.” That’s it. In reality, the painful torment of my avoidant tendencies were a reflection of negative experiences embedded deep in my subconscience, in combination with a lack of self-introspection, which led to a lot of potential being squandered. One can stagnate in an auric block and deceive themselves into believing it to be nothing more than a comfort zone that can be easily overcome. There is no deceiver greater than ourselves, truly. Following the first approach, a rewiring took place wherein action became my default state and the inertia of inaction became the relic of a tragic past. I managed to number close on my third approach.
An overview of my circumstance as of current:
My purpose in life is to meet, attract, seduce and sleep with the fairer sex. This is the beginning and end of it. I am aware that objections generally centre around the idea that there is “more to life” than engaging in coitus with females, but the nature of this objection is at odds with the fact that every aspect of life caters ultimately, in some fashion, to the purpose of sexual intimacy and procreation. If the biological processes that constitute the foundation of life appear empty and vapid, do observe that you constantly find distractions to escape acknowledgment of this raw reality and try to make it seem more than it actually is in essence. It is bad enough that we emerge from the the wombs of our mothers without a companion assigned to us for the purpose of satiating, in a healthy fashion, a basic need: a pulsating energy that swirls throughout our body and gives rise to a feeling of horniness which can only be repressed at the expense of psychological problems and frustrations. For one to feel like a pressure cooker reaching boiling point is a violation of a human right. It is idiocy for parents to pretend that their child will grow up with the absence of sexual desire and selfish to expect marriage, and its attendant responsibilities, much later in life to satiate sexual desire only as a by-product of procuring grandchildren for the delight of their eyes. Perversely, the very element that can guarantee emotional satisfaction and improve quality of life is needlessly rendered most difficult to obtain. Is there any objection to the fact that sex workers contribute a major service to society?
The period between March and July was a time during which I battled against any remnant of approach anxiety and took away key learning points. I went out almost every day after work to dedicate an hour or two session of cold approach on the streets. Drawing close to 4 months is when I felt the anxiety almost completely leave my body, and now it is gone for good. The anxious energy has transformed into an energy of buzzing excitement at the thought of stepping into the unknown, and it is addictive. During this period I managed to acquire 4 dates despite the low volume of approaches on average. After my job assignment ended in August, I took a break for the remainder of last year and did not go out as frequently. Despite this, the bloodyminded fortitude and boldness I had cultivated remained as part and parcel of my being. I have ingrained a mentality of opportunity and abundance.
At this moment in time, however, I am experiencing abject loneliness. Besides my family, I have no one in my life. Being a decent looking guy with a highly refined persona, I have certainly been able to acquire a couple of potential leads in the past couple of days. But whether the remaining leads ruthlessly and capriciously ghost or flake remains to be seen. The jury is still out on those leads. Last month I approached a girl sitting at Pretzels waiting for her order and ended up building a connection with her for close to a month, but have yet to find her to commit to a day to meet in person.
I have concluded that an instant date is the possibly the best way to yield investment and I intend to apply this method consistently henceforth.
My concern is that I am still living under the roof of my parents and it doesn’t appear I have a choice for the next 2 years due to the aforementioned financial restraints. This is a major inconvenience as logistics are often key to getting laid on a consistent basis. Do you have an alternative suggestions? Clubs and bars open late at night and I have never had an excuse to go out to such venues in the past either due to an absence of friends or a result of being shut down emotionally. Still now, even if I had a convenient excuse, I’d still need a place to pull. My intention recently as regards to daytime approaches has been to take the girl on an instant date, physically escalate and potentially pull her to a disabled toilet or to her place. If neither pan out, then arrange a daytime room on the second date for a romp.
What do you think? Is there a superior alternative to any of this? I am open to suggestions and feedback.
Thank you.
I emerged from university with no social life. At the age of 23, during my final semester of university, I had a rude awakening when I passed by a seated girl in the library, felt drawn to her sexually, and ended up dithering for 3+ hours going back and forth in an attempt to reach her, but to no avail. I returned home almost every day feeling demoralised and dejected. Add to this, I was subjected to one of the worst financial difficulties that has been of detriment to my future; a matter of which I can never disclose. For the first time as an adult, I broke down uncontrollably in tears in the presence of my mother who lovingly tried her best to console a broken soul. It constituted an initiation into the long-term healing process. I had spent years since my late teens unconsciously coping in a massively depressive, negative, trauma-induced state that I had effectively numbed by means of porn, excessive masturbation, religion, dense research on the monetary system and philosophical discussion online. Basically a hodgepodge of crutches on which I leaned in order to arrest the freefall into the deep pit of realisation that I was actively sabotaging myself. Once awoken, I took drastic measures to violently pull myself out of the mental imprisonment that had been symptomatic of my emotional block for so long. For example, one day I barged into my lecture theatre, pulled out Snapchat, and filmed myself badly singing the opening theme of Lion King out loud, in front of all the students and a momentarily disturbed professor, and basked in the ugly pressure of the moment. Albeit an eccentric move, the aim was to strengthen the cringe-resistance of my brain in a situation deliberately designed to be cringeworthy, and to ultimately prove on a mental level that reality is of my own making. For while my inner demons lay in besiege, the raging fire in my belly desired to burn away every element that engendered psychological repression so as to bring forth my true essence.
At the start of 2018 I noticed a gentle paradigm shift occurring right under my nose; an exciting change bubbling beneath the surface that would radically alter my state of affairs for the better. The work I had put in to assess and challenge the misalignment of mind and body to reset my energy field had begun to bear fruit. It felt like I had unlocked from a matrix of illusion and stepped into a playground of pure potential in which I am at the cause, not the effect. For the first time in my life I felt truly alive.
On March 14th I found myself running down a beautifully paved, open and vacant street toward a girl who was on her way to a university campus close by. I had recently landed a job in the heart of the city and had no intention of foregoing the opportunity to finally conquer an irrational fear no matter how resistent my body. The force within was driven by primal adrenaline. I performed my first approach meekly with a direct compliment and it turned out as I had logically anticipated: a normal human exchange that ended with a swift, “sorry, I’m taken.” That’s it. In reality, the painful torment of my avoidant tendencies were a reflection of negative experiences embedded deep in my subconscience, in combination with a lack of self-introspection, which led to a lot of potential being squandered. One can stagnate in an auric block and deceive themselves into believing it to be nothing more than a comfort zone that can be easily overcome. There is no deceiver greater than ourselves, truly. Following the first approach, a rewiring took place wherein action became my default state and the inertia of inaction became the relic of a tragic past. I managed to number close on my third approach.
An overview of my circumstance as of current:
My purpose in life is to meet, attract, seduce and sleep with the fairer sex. This is the beginning and end of it. I am aware that objections generally centre around the idea that there is “more to life” than engaging in coitus with females, but the nature of this objection is at odds with the fact that every aspect of life caters ultimately, in some fashion, to the purpose of sexual intimacy and procreation. If the biological processes that constitute the foundation of life appear empty and vapid, do observe that you constantly find distractions to escape acknowledgment of this raw reality and try to make it seem more than it actually is in essence. It is bad enough that we emerge from the the wombs of our mothers without a companion assigned to us for the purpose of satiating, in a healthy fashion, a basic need: a pulsating energy that swirls throughout our body and gives rise to a feeling of horniness which can only be repressed at the expense of psychological problems and frustrations. For one to feel like a pressure cooker reaching boiling point is a violation of a human right. It is idiocy for parents to pretend that their child will grow up with the absence of sexual desire and selfish to expect marriage, and its attendant responsibilities, much later in life to satiate sexual desire only as a by-product of procuring grandchildren for the delight of their eyes. Perversely, the very element that can guarantee emotional satisfaction and improve quality of life is needlessly rendered most difficult to obtain. Is there any objection to the fact that sex workers contribute a major service to society?
The period between March and July was a time during which I battled against any remnant of approach anxiety and took away key learning points. I went out almost every day after work to dedicate an hour or two session of cold approach on the streets. Drawing close to 4 months is when I felt the anxiety almost completely leave my body, and now it is gone for good. The anxious energy has transformed into an energy of buzzing excitement at the thought of stepping into the unknown, and it is addictive. During this period I managed to acquire 4 dates despite the low volume of approaches on average. After my job assignment ended in August, I took a break for the remainder of last year and did not go out as frequently. Despite this, the bloodyminded fortitude and boldness I had cultivated remained as part and parcel of my being. I have ingrained a mentality of opportunity and abundance.
At this moment in time, however, I am experiencing abject loneliness. Besides my family, I have no one in my life. Being a decent looking guy with a highly refined persona, I have certainly been able to acquire a couple of potential leads in the past couple of days. But whether the remaining leads ruthlessly and capriciously ghost or flake remains to be seen. The jury is still out on those leads. Last month I approached a girl sitting at Pretzels waiting for her order and ended up building a connection with her for close to a month, but have yet to find her to commit to a day to meet in person.
I have concluded that an instant date is the possibly the best way to yield investment and I intend to apply this method consistently henceforth.
My concern is that I am still living under the roof of my parents and it doesn’t appear I have a choice for the next 2 years due to the aforementioned financial restraints. This is a major inconvenience as logistics are often key to getting laid on a consistent basis. Do you have an alternative suggestions? Clubs and bars open late at night and I have never had an excuse to go out to such venues in the past either due to an absence of friends or a result of being shut down emotionally. Still now, even if I had a convenient excuse, I’d still need a place to pull. My intention recently as regards to daytime approaches has been to take the girl on an instant date, physically escalate and potentially pull her to a disabled toilet or to her place. If neither pan out, then arrange a daytime room on the second date for a romp.
What do you think? Is there a superior alternative to any of this? I am open to suggestions and feedback.
Thank you.
Scroll to see replies
Original post by Joleee
i moved your thread to relationships
but i would suggest you go back and edit your work mate. right now it's tl;dr
but i would suggest you go back and edit your work mate. right now it's tl;dr
OP could forge a career as a successful writer
trying to ask for advice using words that read like a story isn't going to get him muchOriginal post by hello_shawn
OP could forge a career as a successful writer trying to ask for advice using words that read like a story isn't going to get him much
trying to ask for advice using words that read like a story isn't going to get him muchespecially on a saturday.
You can continue day game, approach females in a relaxed manner with no agenda and just have a conversation with them and I'm sure you already know this.
Have you read pua material?
You can also meet females through online dating, by joining social clubs, speed dating, online meet up's as well as approaching.
Have you read pua material?
You can also meet females through online dating, by joining social clubs, speed dating, online meet up's as well as approaching.
(edited 5 years ago)
Out of curiosity, do you own a fedora?
@StacyGirl98 You two need each other
Original post by anosmianAcrimony
@StacyGirl98 You two need each other
Oh sh1t yes!
Original post by hello_shawn
OP could forge a career as a successful writer trying to ask for advice using words that read like a story isn't going to get him much
trying to ask for advice using words that read like a story isn't going to get him muchHe's a ****ing abysmal writer; "a matter of which I can never disclose"? Dan Brown aside, pretentious illiterates tend not to 'forge' much of anything save the too-brittle veneer of genuine erudition.
:hump:
(edited 5 years ago)
Original post by StacyGirl98
Oh sh1t yes!
What's the inside joke? Let me in on it.
Original post by anosmianAcrimony
Out of curiosity, do you own a fedora?
Yes.
And a monocle.
Original post by Profesh
He's a ****ing abysmal writer; "a matter of which I can never disclose"? Dan Brown aside, pretentious illiterates tend not to 'forge' much of anything save the too-brittle veneer of genuine erudition.
What is wrong with the sentence you've quoted? What makes me illiterate? And, more importantly, who sh*t in your cereal?
Original post by Analyst89
You can continue day game, approach females in a relaxed manner with no agenda and just have a conversation with them and I'm sure you already know this.
But where do I “pull” girls if I can’t take them home?
Okay, obviously I do not have the time to regularly attend anything more than the gym due to work and other priorities. But even in a public gym an approach is still cold, by and large, not warm. It is unlike an academic institution or workplace wherein the same familiar faces can be seen on a daily basis. Moreover, it still entails engaging the girl during her workout which does not offer enough time for interaction and, like cold approach, still susceptible to flaking.
I will use the gym to focus on my workout and use the streets to focus on network building. There is no choice in the matter.
I will use the gym to focus on my workout and use the streets to focus on network building. There is no choice in the matter.
Original post by Polymath0
Is there any objection to the fact that sex workers contribute a major service to society?
Lots. I'll quote someone else's post on another thread a couple of months ago:
prostitution is definitely different to casual sex. i dont know about other people but i am against it for lots of reasons
1.a "proffession" with the highest rate of crime/risk more than any other
2. the vast vast vast majority of people doing sex work are either be forced by other people (for money mostly) or are so desperate for money that they do not think about the consequences of a job like that, and do not think about safety either. druggies who are desperate to fund their addiction often turn to prostitution......
3.unfortuately some people who would not cheat on their reelationships or otherwise break their marriage do so for paid sex and somehow think of it differently?
4.some people get really attached to their prostitute, but theyre just doing their job and part of their job is unfortunately to pretend to love them, you get a lot of nasty endings from that!
5.inevitably you get children put into this world, whether by doing the prostitution themselves or their parent/s. its not a good example for them or their future
6.people with low intelligence/learning difficulties often get dragged into this world and abused (similar to 2/5)
basically there's lots of abuse in prostituion and you can never stop that or prevent it, but if casual sex is between two consenting adults, nobody is getting more out of it than the other and abuse happens at a much lower rate
1.a "proffession" with the highest rate of crime/risk more than any other
2. the vast vast vast majority of people doing sex work are either be forced by other people (for money mostly) or are so desperate for money that they do not think about the consequences of a job like that, and do not think about safety either. druggies who are desperate to fund their addiction often turn to prostitution......
3.unfortuately some people who would not cheat on their reelationships or otherwise break their marriage do so for paid sex and somehow think of it differently?
4.some people get really attached to their prostitute, but theyre just doing their job and part of their job is unfortunately to pretend to love them, you get a lot of nasty endings from that!
5.inevitably you get children put into this world, whether by doing the prostitution themselves or their parent/s. its not a good example for them or their future
6.people with low intelligence/learning difficulties often get dragged into this world and abused (similar to 2/5)
basically there's lots of abuse in prostituion and you can never stop that or prevent it, but if casual sex is between two consenting adults, nobody is getting more out of it than the other and abuse happens at a much lower rate
Original post by Justvisited
Lots. I'll quote someone else's post on another thread a couple of months ago:
The background of the sex worker can be vetted to ensure that the sexual service rendered is performed upon a foundation of consent, not coercion. It is upon the individual to be vigilant and responsible about this sexual transaction; how others relate to sex workers falls outside one's scope of concern. If the sex profession was legally monitored and regulated, there would be far less risk as it would instil around it a framework of legal standards and ethics.
Those who object to the sex industry on the basis of concern over health and safety usually do so to disguise their moral antipathy to the industry in general. In reality, sex workers are absolutely essential in a world that does not fairly cater to the sexual needs of the lonely, old, ugly, anxious or debilitated. It is extremely selfish and inconsiderate to deprive the less fortunate of this service and not suggest an alternative.
Original post by Polymath0
sex workers are absolutely essential in a world that does not fairly cater to the sexual needs of the lonely, old, ugly, anxious or debilitated.
But it's all fake. It's just a mechanical operation - the person behind it doesn't actually care about you, admire you or love you. How can that really meet people's most basic 'needs'? Might as well just take a drug.
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