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Are these things “just a friend” would do or am I oblivious?

Okay so I have some suspicions that an old best friend of mine might possibly like me. We were best friends growing up, like between year 9-11 but then he moved schools for sixth form. I still made an effort to keep in contact with him during that time and after we started uni, even though we rarely see each other.

I think there’s things about him that make him attractive but I’ve never had a “crush” on him, I’ve always just seen him as a really good friend. Possibly due to the fact that I set him up with the girl he had a crush on back when we were sixteen, she ended up breaking his heart and he was hung up on her for two years. He’s said he’s moved on now, and there’s some signs he might possibly see me as more than a friend... but I can’t tell because they’re really mixed.

Some of the things he does:

- Will never usually message me first, but watches all my stories on social media. When I end up messaging him, he’ll prolong the conversation as long as possible. He never ends it first and we usually end up talking until like 2am and then carry on the next morning. Our conversations are always massive paragraphs.

- Compliments me quite often, about how caring I am, how intelligent I am and has called me the “sweetest and kindest person he knows.”

- Will listen to me talk about any personal problems and gives really good advice. Likewise, he said he “buried all his feelings after his break up” but will talk about his emotions very openly with me. Is very supportive whenever I open up to him about my mental health.

- Teases me a lot, borderline in a flirtatious way. We have the same sense of humour though and use a lot of sarcasm.

- Never really mentions the girls he’s seeing unless I directly ask about it. However, he likes literally every girl he follows instagram posts except mine (even though we’re so close and they’re not) but randomly likes three of my posts in a row after not speaking to me for a while?

- Always gives me boy advice, he can sense f******* very fast and can tell me what kind of problematic behaviour I need to look out for. He gets REALLY annoyed if I talk about how attractive I think his brother is.

- Always makes very sexual jokes and innuendos (not directed towards me though) and once he apologised profusely because he thought he’d disrespected me and didn’t want me to think he was misogynistic. He’s really respectful.

- Always remembers to text on my birthday, and makes an effort to turn up to hang out if we make plans.

- Recently I had a bit of a breakdown because I was worried about a friend, so I messaged him at like 1am, not expecting a reply til the morning. But he did and he stayed up with me for three hours, talking about how we could make things better. He really helped me out that night.

Overall there’s stuff he does which makes me think he could like me, but I’m not sure? I never thought he’d see me in that way and I never really saw him like that. I always just thought he was a really good person but now I’m kinda confused.
It could just as easily be a platonic best friend as it could be a romantic interest. There's nothing in there that really screams that it's definitely one way or the other.
Sounds like you got a very good friend there. Would I be worried if he had a crush on me? Not really especially with how caring he is, (staying up till 4 am to help you is pretty impressive) he sounds like a pretty nice guy. The question is do you like him in the same way? Maybe you might be projecting some romantic elements in his actions? Perhaps it’s a bit of a crush you’re experiencing? We can’t know for sure.
Original post by sinfonietta
It could just as easily be a platonic best friend as it could be a romantic interest. There's nothing in there that really screams that it's definitely one way or the other.


That’s true, and probably why it seems so confusing. We technically aren’t best friends anymore, we drifted apart a lot. It just seems strange that he’d go to such lengths when we’re not even very close anymore. He’s not really someone who maintains long term friendships.
Original post by Professional G
Sounds like you got a very good friend there. Would I be worried if he had a crush on me? Not really especially with how caring he is, (staying up till 4 am to help you is pretty impressive) he sounds like a pretty nice guy. The question is do you like him in the same way? Maybe you might be projecting some romantic elements in his actions? Perhaps it’s a bit of a crush you’re experiencing? We can’t know for sure.


I don’t think I have a crush on him since I’ve never seen him in a romantic way. Plus I’m not really looking for a relationship, I’m just confused about his behaviour. He never really goes out of his way to do a lot for anyone. Plus, I’ve seen the harsh way he’s rejected girls in the past. So I’m just very surprised I guess. I can’t really be sure about anything right now.
Original post by chooseanother
I don’t think I have a crush on him since I’ve never seen him in a romantic way. Plus I’m not really looking for a relationship, I’m just confused about his behaviour. He never really goes out of his way to do a lot for anyone. Plus, I’ve seen the harsh way he’s rejected girls in the past. So I’m just very surprised I guess. I can’t really be sure about anything right now.


Then perhaps it’s best to not worry about this. Having a friend like that is really rare especially if they go out of their way to help and be there for you. Perhaps just make precautions just in case but otherwise, don’t worry too much and be thankful for having a friend like him.
(edited 5 years ago)
Original post by Professional G
Then perhaps it’s best to not worry about this. Having a friend like that is really rare especially if they go out of their way to help and be there for you. Perhaps just make precautions just in case but otherwise, don’t worry too much and be thankful for having a friend like him.

That’s true, sometimes friendships end up being better than relationships. I guess worrying about it won’t give me answers anyway.

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