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My girlfriend doesn’t want sex

My girlfriend and I have been together for a little over a year and I have officially moved her in a couple months ago. Wonderful woman. We used to get along great. As time went and a few bumps in the road we got over but during all that her sex drive decreased and has yet to bounce back. She now tells me that she never really liked sex she just did it for me. The reason being is due to her lack of being able to get off. (Has never gotten off once in her life). But we hardly ever do it anymore and I have a strong sex drive towards her. It doesn’t take much at all. But regardless of what I do or say it doesn’t happen. I cook and clean every night after work. I always take the time to ask her how her day was and tell her she looks pretty today and so on. I constantly remind her I love her and all that good stuff. I do what I’m supposed to but I just don’t know what I gotta do to get her to wanna have sex with me like we used to

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Reply 1
Avatar for fideo94
fideo94
8
Original post by DWC10.
My girlfriend and I have been together for a little over a year and I have officially moved her in a couple months ago. Wonderful woman. We used to get along great. As time went and a few bumps in the road we got over but during all that her sex drive decreased and has yet to bounce back. She now tells me that she never really liked sex she just did it for me. The reason being is due to her lack of being able to get off. (Has never gotten off once in her life). But we hardly ever do it anymore and I have a strong sex drive towards her. It doesn’t take much at all. But regardless of what I do or say it doesn’t happen. I cook and clean every night after work. I always take the time to ask her how her day was and tell her she looks pretty today and so on. I constantly remind her I love her and all that good stuff. I do what I’m supposed to but I just don’t know what I gotta do to get her to wanna have sex with me like we used to


this is a tough one.. you need to tell her how much you wanna fcuk her ..
Reply 2
Avatar for Ciel.
Ciel.
21
Original post by DWC10.
My girlfriend and I have been together for a little over a year and I have officially moved her in a couple months ago. Wonderful woman. We used to get along great. As time went and a few bumps in the road we got over but during all that her sex drive decreased and has yet to bounce back. She now tells me that she never really liked sex she just did it for me. The reason being is due to her lack of being able to get off. (Has never gotten off once in her life). But we hardly ever do it anymore and I have a strong sex drive towards her. It doesn’t take much at all. But regardless of what I do or say it doesn’t happen. I cook and clean every night after work. I always take the time to ask her how her day was and tell her she looks pretty today and so on. I constantly remind her I love her and all that good stuff. I do what I’m supposed to but I just don’t know what I gotta do to get her to wanna have sex with me like we used to

Nothing. You can't do anything. She clearly doesn't want to have sex. Some people don't like sex. If you can't accept that, you need to move on.
Reply 3
Avatar for fideo94
fideo94
8
Original post by Ciel.
Nothing. You can't do anything. She clearly doesn't want to have sex. Some people don't like sex. If you can't accept that, you need to move on.


ikr..sex is essential in a relationship..if he ****s someone else..she houldn't complain.. at the same time he should leave her if he feels he is really in need of sex..cuz she aint fcukin him anytime soon.

waste of time
Reply 4
Avatar for Ciel.
Ciel.
21
Original post by fideo94
ikr..sex is essential in a relationship..if he ****s someone else..she houldn't complain.. at the same time he should leave her if he feels he is really in need of sex..cuz she aint fcukin him anytime soon.

waste of time

Not in every relationship. Some people are asexual.
As I girl, I know that sex is important for guys, not sure to what extent, but it seems like it's up there.
Suppose it's a purely biological thing and can't really be helped.

I think that she should come to some sort of compromise. Unless for whatever reason, it's perhaps causing her discomfort, then it really shouldn't be that big of a deal for her to let you do your thing? In which case, maybe talk with her about just doing it once in a while. If she is really uncomfortable with even that... then I suppose your only option is to stick with her if you really love her, or break up and find someone who will be willing to have sex with you.
Have you considered that maybe something is causing her to be reluctant/self conscious about having sex? Some sort of health issue, or something?
Nothing you can do entitles you to sex and if it were to work then she would be doing it because she felt obliged to - not because she wants to. Do you really want a sex life like that? Because it sounds like that is how your previous sexual encounters have been like for her. She did it for you; not because she wanted to. So wanting things to go back to how they used to be, now that you know how it was for her, is a little selfish of you.

The two of you need to talk about what you expect and want from a relationship and have a good think about if you can really see this working out. It sounds like you have different needs.
Reply 7
Avatar for Ciel.
Ciel.
21
Original post by Snfkin
As I girl, I know that sex is important for guys, not sure to what extent, but it seems like it's up there.
Suppose it's a purely biological thing and can't really be helped.

I think that she should come to some sort of compromise. Unless for whatever reason, it's perhaps causing her discomfort, then it really shouldn't be that big of a deal for her to let you do your thing? In which case, maybe talk with her about just doing it once in a while. If she is really uncomfortable with even that... then I suppose your only option is to stick with her if you really love her, or break up and find someone who will be willing to have sex with you.
Have you considered that maybe something is causing her to be reluctant/self conscious about having sex? Some sort of health issue, or something?

Compromise? No. Forcing yourself to have sex with someone just makes you hate them.
If you need sex and she doesn't like having sex, that's a major incompatibility in the relationship in my book.
Original post by Ciel.
Compromise? No. Forcing yourself to have sex with someone just makes you hate them.

wow true
Reply 10
Avatar for Bio 7
Bio 7
21
Original post by Ciel.
Not in every relationship. Some people are asexual.


Exactly. If she has never really enjoyed sex then it might be she is asexual and doesn’t realise it, or doesn’t want to say anything yet.
Has she had sex with anyone else? Does she masturbate?

I think that unless you can make the sex great for her then what reason does she have to do it?

You need to experiment together, learn and get her off. Lots.
There are a few things that I'd try before giving up on her if I were in the OP's position. Which I won't go into here, publicly on this forum. I'd be telling her in advance what I intended trying on her, as well as reassuring her how much I loved her and how much I found her attractive.
If they didn't work, or she wouldn't even let me try them, I'd conclude that we were sexually incompatible and that it would be time to move on to someone else without any further delay.
I don't know how you would tell her without sounding desperate. good luck bro
OP how old are you? I worry that I'm asexual/ will be like her once I'm in a relationship (I'm still a virgin:colondollar: at 22)
Can you try and get her off? I don't know how much that is the real reason as I thought women in general still enjoy sex if they don't finish and if she's never *** she doesn't know what shes missing... but it might be worth a try

Otherwise I think you need to think about your compatibility... if you can find a compromise or something you can do to make her want sex that's great and you should definitely talk about it... but you can't force her and this will only make you feel worse as time goes on
Some people just don't want or enjoy sex. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that. You need to talk to her about it- it sounds as though you're just hoping if you're nice to her she'll suddenly throw herself at you, which isn't the case. She doesn't owe you sex.

It's also okay if you need sex, but if that's the case and your girlfriend doesn't want to sleep with you, and doesn't want any kind of open relationship, you need to break up for both of your sakes. It'll just end up making you both miserable otherwise.
I wouldn't enjoy eating if all I'd ever tasted were pot noodles. If you make it good I'm sure she'll want more.

I'm not convinced I believe in asexual. Remember that 50% of people are below average at sex........
does she still allow oral though
adding to all the answers... if you have a good relationship in general, have you thought about going to a therapy about it?
I mean it is sometimes hard to resolve things on your own, either you learn to accept that she doesn't want sex or she finds out why she doesn't like it. Therapy could help both of you.

I am a girl with rather low sex drive. I feel OK with either having sex or not having sex, I have a low urge for that though, but not wanting it at all sounds a bit wrong, especially when you have a good relationship.
Maybe something causing her discomfort and she is finding it hard to explain it to you.
Talking about it with a specialist may help you figure out these things, but it requires a lot of trust for each other from you both.

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