My girlfriend doesn't wanna go down on me

As the title says, my girlfriend doesn't want to go down on me. I'm sure many guys experienced this before with a girl who just doesn't like to do it. Since we are together she never did it even tho multiple times i said i would really like if she did that for me in direct or subtle ways, the answer always being that she doesn't like doing it. She says she went down on her last boyfriend like more than 10 times and she only enjoyed it once. I really dont want to force her into doing it, but this is my first relationship and i want to experience and try new stuff which i think there's nothing wrong with that. I'm scared of bringing the bj subject up again as it is going to annoy her. If i insist enough she might do it just to please me, but i also want her to enjoy the experience. Bj's are probably my number 1 turn on and the fact that for my girlfriend its the number 1 turn off, makes it a problem. How do i go on about this, what do i do or say, i dont even know. I went down on her god knows how many times, sometimes the experience was enjoyable sometimes not so much because of smell taste etc but i did it because i know she really likes it and turns her on, can't she do the same for me? At least once in a while.. She also doesn't want to try positions like doggy style which i would really like to try. I just dont know how to bring this conversation up without her getting upset and think im no different from other guys. But im a guy, i want to experiment, try new stuff there's nothing wrong with that..

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Reply 1

AzureCeleste

Make a compromise then?
Don't go down on her (unless you want to obvs) if she won't reciprocate it for you.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by AzureCeleste

Make a compromise then?
Don't go down on her (unless you want to obvs) if she won't reciprocate it for you.

I'm not sure if thats a good approach, it might make her feel about herself and create tension and i dont want that

Reply 3

ThatOldGuy

Your girl doesn't like going down on you. Cool. You've talked to her about it. Cool. She still won't.

If you're sexually incompatible and it's a breaking point, break up with her.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

Original post by ThatOldGuy

Your girl doesn't like going down on you. Cool. You've talked to her about it. Cool. She still won't.

If you're sexually incompatible and it's a breaking point, break up with her.

I dont wanna have to break up with her over this. I feel like i cant do it just because she doesnt want to give me head, but at the same time i feel like she doesnt understand how much it matters to me.

Reply 5

Andrew97

Entertainment Forum Helper, Debate & Current Affairs Helper

Tell her to go down down, deeper and down....

Reply 6

Profesh

Original post by Anonymous

If you're foolish enough to approach sex as a quid-pro-quo dynamic, then frankly you deserve to be penetrated with a 7" phallic prosthesis.

Reply 7

AzureCeleste

Original post by Anonymous

I'm not sure if thats a good approach, it might make her feel about herself and create tension and i dont want that

Feel about herself??
Compromises need to be made. If you don't always want to go down on her then when you do, you are doing it to please her not you. She should do the same for you- be a bit of give and take. If she doesn't go down on you then don't go down on her, simple as

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

Original post by AzureCeleste

Most of the times, like 70% i did enjoy it tho, and sometimes i offered myself to do it so she probably thinks its smt i love doing for her. So if i do that she would say im only doing it to try and force her do smt she doesnt want

Reply 9

AzureCeleste

Original post by Anonymous

Just say you don't want to then and don't always enjoy it.
Also if she cares about you she will want to do something you appreciate to. You two need to talk about it

Reply 10

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

It might be worth speaking to her about why she didn't enjoy doing it with her ex. Maybe he forced her down on him, maybe he didn't wash properly - there could be lots of reasons. You could maybe suggest using a condom if she is willing to try that - might make it less off-putting for her. Or if she doesn't feel comfortable taking the whole penis in her mouth, maybe she would agree just playing with the head?

If she does agree to try it with you, let her do as much as she is comfortable with - don't touch her or push her down or anything else that might be uncomfortable for her.

Ultimately, it is all about communication. But if you are sexually incompatible, breaking up may be the only option as there as ultimately, you will both be unhappy.

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

Original post by AzureCeleste

Just say you don't want to then and don't always enjoy it.
Also if she cares about you she will want to do something you appreciate to. You two need to talk about it

The thing is that i want to talk about it again but i dont know how to approach it since we talked about it a few times already, so she'll just get upset and be like "we just had this conversation i dont want to talk about it"

Reply 12

AzureCeleste

Original post by Anonymous

Bring it up when she wants you to go down on her

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

Original post by AzureCeleste

Bring it up when she wants you to go down on her

How should i start the conversation? Like, saying smt like i'm not happy with our sex life?

Reply 14

abbie d

If she doesn't like it or enjoy doing it you can't force her into it. Guilting or manipulating her into doing something she hates just to make you happy isn't fair on her. If you really can't live without it then just break up.

Reply 15

AzureCeleste

Original post by Anonymous

How should i start the conversation? Like, saying smt like i'm not happy with our sex life?

Yeah. Just talk about how you don't think its fair and that there should be some give and take. That you don't always enjoy going down on her and so may start to do it less often but would be willing to do it more if she compromised and went down on you to

Reply 16

Anonymous #1

Original post by AzureCeleste

If i did say that though, she would just say dont go down on me when you dont want it, do it just when you feel like it. If i then say smt like "then i might as well stop going down on you" we will get into an unnecessary argument. I feel like i didnt let her know how important it is to me. I mean i did leave too many hints to not make it obvious..

Reply 17

Anonymous #3

I would start the conversation off with what she likes, where she liked to be touched and any fantasies she has. then you can start to talk about what you like and how she could go down on you, at first just kissing and licking maybe use some food she likes or in the shower if it's a hygiene thing, find out why she doesn't like it as said b4 it maybe she was forced you have to get the breathing right or the gagging starts so don't grab her head and hold it down or push it when your coming it's not something most girls get right straight away it takes practice and tbh the gagging is bad you think ya gonna choke and if you are hold her head it can cause a feeling of panic. be understanding but be honest

Reply 18

Johndoeskitty

The reality is you cannot force someone to do something they clearly told you they don't enjoy doing. If you don't want to break up with her over it, accept it and find other ways to get yourself off. Maybe a handjob instead of a blow job. Or you can ask her to use her breasts. I personally do give head but guys don't understand it's kinda hard work. Your jaw aches, you choke and feel like you'll throw up sometimes, and we don't derive any pleasure from it other than knowing the guy maybe enjoys it. It's not for everyone.

Reply 19

Profesh

Original post by Anonymous

Well, then it sounds very much as though she—in contrast to your own example—wouldn't enjoy 'giving' at all; and that your argument is therefore, if you'll pardon the expression, completely without teeth.