The Student Room Group

'Domestic abuse happens to men too'

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Original post by hannxm
"Alex Skeel was repeatedly abused by his girlfriend Jordan Worth, who has become the first woman in the UK to be imprisoned for controlling and coercive behaviour.

He spoke to the BBC about the violence he suffered, and what he wants to be done."

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-47285708/domestic-abuse-happens-to-men-too


I think this is such an important story. There needs to be more awareness about abuse against men and to reduce the stigma surrounding it. There is nothing to be embarrassed about and it doesn't make you any less of a man for being the victim of abuse. Guys need to be just as aware of abusive red flags in women, just like women are aware of them in men!


Male domestic abuse is used for laughs and that is truly worrying. There are many men out there who are victims of domestic abuse yet have nowhere to go, and no one to talk to, and then feminists try to discredit these claims due to lack of statistics, statistics that can't exist because no one is taking the issue seriously. I've heard some horrible stories about men who were victims of domestic abuse and couldn't do anything about their situation, couldn't even fight back, because their wives would take their kids away from them or lie to the police saying they were victims of sexual assault by their husbands if there was even one small mark on them. Women can be such vile creatures yet we are lead to believe that only men can be the abusive one in a relationship.
(edited 5 years ago)
i know a guy who was depressed with mild autism who got pounded by his girl and then some. she'd scream at him, throw things, push him around, damage his stuff as a bribe, sell his stuff, really cruel vile girl. i didnt think nothing of it at the time like she'd torture him in front of us. he'd be helpless but i didnt think it was for real. just thought it was another couple arguing lol. then she got him beat up by thugs cos she lied on him to them...she isnt serving for "domestic abuse" but she did get done for assault lol. his mum got her arrested.

i say lol only because Im happy she got arrested btw. :rolleyes:
(edited 5 years ago)
Original post by Bang Outta Order
i know a guy who was depressed with mild autism who got pounded by his girl and then some. she'd scream at him, throw things, push him around, damage his stuff as a bribe, sell his stuff, really cruel vile girl. i didnt think nothing of it at the time like she'd torture him in front of us. he'd be helpless but i didnt think it was for real. just thought it was another couple arguing lol. then she got him beat up by thugs cos she lied on him to them...she isnt serving for "domestic abuse" but she did get done for assault lol. his mum got her arrested.

Must be his fault somehow :littleangel:
no. joking that we sat and watched??? because we didnt realise how bad it was till she was arrested and he wrote a police report. the neighbours said enough was enough or something and rung the police so his mum finally made him.


we think she was dating him for money and bullied him for it all the time, as well as just getting off on it


Original post by Burton Bridge
Must be his fault somehow :littleangel:


what?? how is it my mate's fault, did you see me say he's autistic and depressed...she was clearly like taking advantage of him, come on. it was an awful dynamic between them.
(edited 5 years ago)
What! I wasn't in their household 24/7 was I? Just got to see into their relationship on that odd single occasion when she was showing off for us at his expense, but I thought it was just another lover's tiff. You would have, too.
ok. torment instead of torture. you're visualising him being whipped and chained or burnt with wax candles or something?!

just tormenting like yelling at him. as i said, a lover's tiff. my girl yells at me all the time. :indiff: how was i meant to know.

lol are you implying i'm an abuser...
Im glad we're watching this documentary in registration. Its really good to understand these issues and take them seriously. I dont understand why anyone wouldn't tbh. Its heartbreaking and scary to see how manipulative abusers can be.
and you know theres the thing where...your girl claps you on the head and you just take it cos you dont wanna hurt her? thought that's what was going on. apparently, when we left, she let him have it according to the police and his mum. but how would we have known. anyways. it's over. she's done for.
clearly it did stick out to me because i can recognise that uncomfortable moment in hindsight...and hindsight is really all i have. most abuse is behind closed doors but it's not like im scratching my head wondering what ever happened. i recognise now that he was abused, but not because he was being yelled at. the yelling was nothing compared to the other stuff so thats why i dont seem that bothered. but i was a witness, so...i was a good friend. i did what i could. i dont care if you dont wanna date me lol. thought you were a male the entire time anyways.
omd...what now
Original post by Bang Outta Order
what?? how is it my mate's fault, did you see me say he's autistic and depressed...she was clearly like taking advantage of him, come on. it was an awful dynamic between them.

I was being sarcastic, it's the default stance of society.
It doesn’t at all, it shows how inheritance for female privilege. I doubt anyone would of looked at this as 'bantz' as you put it if it were male abusing a female because of the absence of this privilege. Furthermore I'd bet in this circumstance the police would of took action against male abuser and protected the victiim which didn't happen because of prejudice towards males and a privilege towards females.
(edited 5 years ago)
Anyone remember an episode on Friends, can’t remember the title. But the plot revolves around a girl that hit Joey (Matt Le Blanc). This was played for laughs, I can’t help at think that the reaction would have been very different if Joey was the one doing the hitting. Double standards.
Original post by Bang Outta Order
then she got him beat up by thugs cos she lied on him to them...she isnt serving for "domestic abuse" but she did get done for assault lol. his mum got her arrested.

i say lol only because Im happy she got arrested btw. :rolleyes:


Funnily enough I knew of a girl the same, she pulled an older guy at a party then made out he'd assaulted her (bollox) so her and 4 known wrong'ns beat the guy to death in a park. The guys all went down for manslaughter, she walked off scot free because the judge didn't want to interfere with her applying for a job as a flight attendant.
Original post by StriderHort
Funnily enough I knew of a girl the same, she pulled an older guy at a party then made out he'd assaulted her (bollox) so her and 4 known wrong'ns beat the guy to death in a park. The guys all went down for manslaughter, she walked off scot free because the judge didn't want to interfere with her applying for a job as a flight attendant.


Was the judge male because male judges are known to give female defenses lower sentences than female judges.
This is a tricky issue. Obviously nobody should be permitted to inflict harm upon an innocent, not should anyone have to suffer harm. But when you've got an adult making an adult decision to move in with someone and then lies to cover up, what should the police do? It wasn't as if Alex had been imprisoned indoors.

In this case, Skeel was also worried about his son being in the 'care' of someone so violently abusive, which is sometimes even explicitly used as a threat in abusive relationships. Perhaps something can be done here

I'm not sure I quite understand what Skeel's point was with not encouraging men to talk about things or leave. Unless it becomes so prevalent that it does become an everyday occurrence, people aren't going to be discussing it casually. And if it does become so commonplace, doesn't that 'normality' make it more difficult to get out?
Original post by looloo2134
Was the judge male because male judges are known to give female defenses lower sentences than female judges.

Yeah 'John Alastair Cameron, Lord Abernethy' apparently. She literally got away with murder, organised the attack and played an active part in it, yet got an absolute discharge.
Original post by StriderHort
Funnily enough I knew of a girl the same, she pulled an older guy at a party then made out he'd assaulted her (bollox) so her and 4 known wrong'ns beat the guy to death in a park. The guys all went down for manslaughter, she walked off scot free because the judge didn't want to interfere with her applying for a job as a flight attendant.


w o w

it be's like that sometimes bruv...know "women" just like that. Guys too. But not for romantic things and lies, just revenge for like owing money and that.
Reply 58
Original post by Dandaman1
Be careful with those statistics. Often they will lump together different offenses or use very broad definitions to inflate the numbers. For example, that '4 out of 10' figure, wherever you heard it from, might include things that wouldn't even legally be considered sexual assault. It could have also come from some small, unreliable survey. The numbers bounce around hugely depending on the source, method, definitions, etc.


The number of dodgy surveys around are insane. I remember an opinion poll on the future of the BBC stating that 80% of the public preferred watching the BBC. Once you looked into it, there was something like only 40% because it was 80% of people who did something, of people who did something else.

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